Remember Dane Cook? He used to be absolutely everywhere a few years ago. He did a shitload of movies and he was a stand-up comedian who’s entire schtick was that he would just ramble on and on in a heated, angry tone without delivering a punch line for hours. And then he was accused of stealing jokes from Louis CK, which is kinda one of those cardinal DO NOTS in the comedy world. Anyway, Dane is still doing comedy, and decided to do an impromptu set at The Laugh Factory. Not only were other comedians bumped to make room for him, but his jokes were … troubling. Here’s a re-telling of the night from T.J. Miller, via the A.V. Club:
And then last night, he got on stage and was vicious, misogynistic, cruel, and arrogant. He talked about not paying for an abortion. He talked about finding some whore to fuck to take out his anger at his ex-girlfriend. He talked about how girls would do anything for him ‘because I’m me.’ He got mad when people were texting. ‘Dane Cook is onstage,’ he said. ‘Have some fucking respect.’
Here’s an idea, Dane: have some fucking respect for the audience that gave you the chance to be what you dreamed of being, and don’t be mad at them because you fucked it all up from hubris and thirst for fame. Don’t disrespect the people that gave you a chance. Don’t do an hour of mean-spirited trash. And Dane Cook, certainly don’t ask anyone to feel sorry for you. If you are the person you were onstage last night then you are not a good person. And the way you talk about women is disgusting and pathetic, but really just hurtful. So Good Luck Chuck. [You] need all the luck in the world to realize you need to go to therapy & figure out how to not be a hateful person. Stop performing until [you] do so.
Look, I’m not sure what was going through Cook’s brain that night, but I’m not going to assume outright that he went up with the intent of unloading his psychoses on an audience. I mean yes, I will duck points off of him for showing up unannounced and bumping a bunch of other comedians hoping to get a chance to perform. But ultimately, I’m just going to Occam’s razor this bitch and say that he wasn’t trying to be mean, so much as he was trying to be funny and then just failed miserably. Or maybe you think a guy who talks about how he “chainsaw-fucked a disgusting whore’s cunt” is hilarious. Who knows?