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It’s a who’s who of WHO? on the new ‘Dancing with the Stars’

It’s a who’s who of WHO? on the new ‘Dancing with the Stars’
September 7, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Dancing With The Stars Season 19

I’m not a big Dancing with the Stars fan, but I will admit to a certain amount of fascination whenever a cast list is revealed. It’s fun to pick out the actual stars from the kinda stars, all while throwing side-glances at the ones who barely qualify as star. So I leave it to you: Below is a list of all the dancers on the upcoming 19th season of Dancing with the Stars (premiering on ABC on September 15th). Who are the real stars? Who are the kind of stars? Who would you not be able to pick out of a line-up of one?

  • Alfonso Ribeiro, from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
  • Antonio Sabato Jr., underwear model
  • Bethany Mota, YouTube personality
  • Betsey Johnson, Fashion designer / Lisa Frank sticker come to life
  • Janel Parrish, from Pretty Little Liars
  • Jonathan Bennett, Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls
  • Lea Thompson, from Back to the Future
  • Lolo Jones, Olympics Athlete
  • Michael Waltrip, NASCAR guy who makes cars go vroom vroom
  • Randy Couture, UFC champion and tiny mountain of muscle
  • Sadie Robertson, the daughter of one of those assholes on Duck Dynasty
  • Tavis Smiley, PBS host (ask your grandparents what PBS is)
  • Tommy Chong, weed enthusiast (SOURCE)

Well, going with a YouTube personality was a bold choice, I’ll give them that much. I’m not against the idea at all; Seeing someone from the Game Grumps or Vi Hart would be awesome because I’m a huge nerd. What really weirds me out is that they couldn’t even get one of those assholes from Duck Dynasty. They had to cull one of their kids. That’s not scraping the bottom of the barrel so much as it is grabbing one of the weird looking mushrooms growing off the side of the barrel.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.