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Courtney Stodden: I made a sex tape!

Courtney Stodden: I made a sex tape!
May 17, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Because it worked so well for Farrah Abraham (assuming you define “well” as “revealed her as a delusional, unprofessional liar who has no business raising a child”) teen bride Courtney Stodden told E! Online that she has a sex tape, which she has no plans on releasing. Oh who are we kidding? She’d probably hand it over to you for a stick of gum if you promised it would get her attention.

Surprise, surprise: The provocative teen bride reveals exclusively to E! News that she’s made a sex tape. But—before you start girding for a brouhaha of Farrah Abraham proportions—the 18-year-old adds that the video, which reportedly features her solo and was supposedly shot recently after she turned 18, is private. The tape, Stodden tells us at the Shekhar Rahate fashion show in Los Angeles Thursday, is “not out in the media” nor is it on her computer, and she advises wannabe hackers not to get their hopes up. “Hackers, don’t even go there cause you’ll find nothing,” Doug Hutchison’s wife tells us about poking around her computer.

Yes, I’m sure going on the internet and teasing a bunch of hackers with the idea of a sex tape before pulling the rug out from under them will end just wonderfully. Honestly, it’s only a matter of time before Courtney’s sex tape makes it out onto the market. I mean, what else is she going to do? You don’t make a sex tape and then tell everyone about it unless you’ve already signed a contract promising you points on the backend.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.