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Courtney Stodden went to an Oscars gifting suite?

Courtney Stodden went to an Oscars gifting suite?

Courtney Stodden

If you’ve never read Patton Oswalt‘s brilliant book, Zombie Spaceship Wasteland, first off, go out and pick it up now because it’s amazing, and second, you missed out on an amazing piece about how gifting suites are essentially the worst thing in the entire world, and are magnets for the most useless, self-involved people in the entire world. Don’t believe me? Well, Courtney Stodden went to an Oscars gifting suite, which should really tell you everything you need to know about them. Via ONTD

Her makeup was typically heavy-handed, with huge fake black eyelashes and thick black eyeliner, paired with neon pink lipstick. She posed seductively for the cameras, showing off her bright red fingernails. Once inside the suite, Courtney enjoyed a piece of cake that was decorated with photographs of this year’s Academy Award acting nominees. She was snapped leaving the event looking satisfied as she carried two large bags no doubt filled with gifts from the event.

I’m not sure how someone who’s done literally nothing but enable pedophiles and acted racist on the web for attention could grab a bunch of free stuff and think, “yes, I earned this.” Because she hasn’t. If anything, people should go to her house and start removing things from her home. “Sorry ma’am, but all you’ve done is bang a creepy fifty-year-old dude while you were still legally a minor. You don’t deserve anything good in your life. Also, you called your dog Dourtney. Dourtney. Technically, we consider that animal abuse.”

JEREMY FEIST
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.