COURTNEY STODDEN IS A CHILD!

Get ready for the single most uncomfortable moment of your entire day: Here’s sixteen-year-old (I repeat: SIXTEEN. YEARS. OLD.) Courtney Stodden (child bride of actor Doug Hutchison) posing in a ridiculously tiny red swimsuit because child pornography is a disturbingly lucrative business move (see: Lords, Traci and Corrigan, Brent). Oh, and here are a couple of her most recent tweets, in case you were thinking this entire thing wasn’t TESTICLE-SHRIVELINGLY TERRIFYING

Had a productive fulfilled day. Wrapping it all up now by playin’ fetch with my precious pink pooch. Talk about a cherry on top of a sundae! Slowly slipping under these sensuous silk covers as I lie down in bed & entertain myself w/the classic movie “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”. XOs

Jesus Christ, what is wrong with this whore? How does someone who is barely old enough to drive a car somehow able to come across as an aging cougar trying and failing to be sexy? I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact that she looks like a middle-age trailer-trash skank with five kids and a husband who throws empty beer bottles at her when she talks during NASCAR. Oh, and here’s a picture of her. SURPRISE! You’re a pedophile now. That’s what Courtney Stodden does to people.

Courtney Stodden

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.