Courtney Stodden: I have saved many lives!

When you think of a hero, who do you think of? The soldiers over seas who fight for freedom? The police who keep our streets safe? The firemen who run into burning buildings to save people? HA! No. The real hero is teen famewhore Courtney Stodden, who saves lives and keeps this great country safe by dressing like a prostitute, even though all those pinko commie bastards out there say stuff like “Wait, aren’t you a teenager? How is that legal?” or “You’re jump-starting pedophiles for the sake of money and attention.” That’s a true hero. Via Celebitchy

Therapist: Courtney and Doug, tell me a little bit about the power in your relationship.

Courtney: I think that we, you know, fight for the power, you know both of us … but I think that in the majority of things I do have the power over the relationship.

Therapist: Where do you get your power from.

Courtney: With certain things, that’s just the way that I dress. I have a passion. I am an advocate for having the right to be who you want to be, and there are people out there who don’t have a voice to dress the way they want to dress, look the way they want to look – due to the backlash and the actions of other people. I have saved many lives.

Therapist: I want to know where you get the power in your relationship with your husband. For real … no more beauty pageant answers …

As someone who’s been dressing like a prostitute for a lot longer than Courtney has (and I’ve been doing it as an adult, you creepy jailbait peddler) I’m going to make this as clear as possible: You’re an idiot. Dressing sexy doesn’t save jacksh*t. Yes, you look good and it’s fun, but dressing up and playing like you’re some sort of humanitarian just makes you sound like a hopelessly clueless jackass.

Courtney Stodden

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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