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Courtney Stodden has the best mom ever!

Courtney Stodden has the best mom ever!
November 4, 2011 JEREMY FEIST

Behind every great famewhore is a terrible mom who really wanted to be famous when she was younger, but could never quite reach it because they have no discernible talent whatsoever and ended up getting impregnated on prom night. So the next best thing is to turn they’re children into little fame sponges they can squeeze the nectar out of. Case in point: Courtney Stodden‘s mom, Krista Keller, managed to worm her way into an interview with The Daily Beast, where she explained that the reason why she let her daughter marry a 51-year-old man (Doug Hutchison) is because if she didn’t, Courtney would have died from being a normal teenager. No, really.

“It was a very beautiful, loving, nonsexual type of turn,” Keller says. “It was very admirable on his end. Then he called to tell me they were falling for each other. I could really tell my daughter had the kind of love when you want to marry a man or be with a man. Even though she was just 16, I knew it was going to take a pretty big man to handle her because of her sexuality and because of the attention she gets.”

[…] Hutchison said he’d wait until Courtney turned 18 to pursue a romantic relationship. But Keller had another idea. In 39 states, 16-year-olds are allowed to marry with the consent of a parent or guardian, and she would support such a union.

“I had felt and lived it and seen how it matured to love,” Keller says. “See, with Courtney, with the way she looks: how is she ever going to know if someone loves her for how she looks or for her heart? I wanted her to be with somebody—and she wanted to be with somebody—that loved her for her heart. So this was perfect for her! To have a long-distance relationship to where they could just communicate through words, there was no sexual anything, we knew he loved her for her heart.”

[…] “These people that say, ‘You could have waited,’ I really don’t understand this way of thinking,” says Keller, who is the same age as her son-in-law. “Why do parents think that kids need to have those teen years spent going out with different boys, going out in different cars, going out on the beach together alone? There’s a lot of bad stuff that happens in those teen years. They end up being killed in car crashes due to driving with people that have been drinking. Oh, but they’re gonna have their teen years. My daughter is safe. I know where my daughter is.”

So basically, instead of letting your daughter just be a normal teenager and enjoy the last few remaining years as a child, wherein she could have made the mistakes that a teenager needs to make in order to help her realize what she can and cannot do as a responsible adult, you thought “nah, that sounds like work” and then pawned her off on the first famous, rich, older guy to come along? THAT’S NOT GOOD PARENTING, YOU DUMB MORON. Hell, even if that actually was your legitimate reasoning, instead of just a cop out in order to justify you pimping out your daughter, that would still make you an abject failure as a mother! What the hell is wrong with you?!

Courtney Stodden and mom Krista Keller