Yesterday, Courtney Stodden announced to the world that she would be making her singing debut at The Abbey in West Hollywood. Yeah, I’m not sure why either. Maybe they needed to close down that night for a little cleaning, and they figured that nothing would clear the place out faster than a shrieking, vaguely person-shaped plasticine sculpture? Anyway, less than a day after they made the announcement, TMZ reports that they’ve already cancelled the performance, I’m assuming after they realized they booked Courtney Stodden to sing.
Courtney’s people tell TMZ, it’s unclear why her performance was abruptly canceled — but they believe the higher ups who own the place pulled the plug on her out of “fear” … whatever that means. Courtney had been scheduled to ride the pole at the famous Abbey in West Hollywood the night before Thanksgiving. Don’t be too disappointed — Courtney wasn’t planning to bare her ta-tas for the show anyway … she’s holding out for a much bigger paycheck to do that.
I have no idea what they mean by “fear,” but I’m going to assume they’re afraid that Courtney’s screeching would tear down the walls between our dimension and that of Quetzalcoatl, thus ushering in 666 days of the blood rains. Also, just putting this out there, but wasn’t The Abbey the place that banned bachelorette parties because of marriage inequality? Why would they turn around a book a woman who’s only famous because she married a guy in his fifties while she was still a teenager?
