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Courtney Stodden showed off her closet!

Courtney Stodden showed off her closet!
February 23, 2012 JEREMY FEIST
Courtney Stodden

Because we will never get tired of watching Courtney Stodden try, and subsequently fail harder than anyone has ever failed, to be sexy, here’s a story about how Courtney invited photographers to take pictures of her closet, which is full of clothes that would make the most tired, over-the-hill stripper shake her head and go “trashy fucking bitch”. Oh, and she apparently thinks it’s sexy to try and eat a shoe while giving her best “I died inside long ago. Please love me. Please.” eyes. The Daily Mail reports:

It’s also replete with dozens of tiny dresses, bright and sparkly enough to scorch your retina all of them. And if that’s not enough to set your synapses sparking, there also dwells a rainbow of shoes – all high, all wholly impractical. Courtney is on hand, of course, to model her finery … and poses in a variety of lascivious positions including draped on her bed with her clothes strewn around her.

Seriously, if you look closely, you can see the desperation and viruses wafting off of her. We get it, you have nothing going for you and your future comes out the end of a fifty-one-year old penis. Stop assaulting our eyes with your weird burn victim face and the injectables you’ve thrown around your body.

Courtney Stodden