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WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Courtney Love is LiLo’s sobriety coach?

Courtney Love is LiLo’s sobriety coach?
November 30, 2011 JEREMY FEIST
Lindsay Lohan and Courtney Love

Who am I kidding? There’s nothing else I can add to that headline. Courtney Love is Lindsay Lohan‘s sobriety coach. There’s more raw human failure in that simple sentence than there is in 1,000 Ed Hardy shirts. Here’s the quote from RadarOnline, which I’m sure will be used in the coroner’s report:

The 47-year-old Hole singer said the 25-year-old Mean Girls star is “further down the line than I was” in her issues, pointing out she didn’t have to undergo the white-hot spotlight of gossip websites during her wild child phase. Love recalled an incident in which she tried to use her past bad behavior to show Lohan that drug use is life abuse. “I went up to Lindsay’s room one time and there was a show on called 101 Celebrity Oops and I am like every other one, you know – boobs out, legs everywhere, throwing s**t at Madonna, you know, whatever,” Kurt Cobain’s widow told the magazine. “I’m like ‘Lindsay, look! Drugs are bad!'”

“Before I met Kurt, I was more or less clean, but then Kurt earned his first million and decided to become a junkie, and I decided to become a junkie along with him,” she said in May. “That’s the co-dependent side of me.” Love, who says she’s been clean since 2005, credits A-list actor Orlando Bloom with helping her sober up.

Oh joy, one droopy, lifeless, haggard, drugged-up, alcoholic blonde is giving life advice to another one. I’m not going to say that this will inevitably end when one of them OD’s after stabbing the other for that one last hit off the crack pipe, but meth will do that to you! Yup, that about covers it.

Lindsay Lohan and Courtney Love