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Courtney Stodden’s ‘makeup free’ selfie

Courtney Stodden’s ‘makeup free’ selfie
December 17, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Courtney Stodden posted a selfie to Twitter, claiming that it was makeup free because she’s not even trying to hide the fact that she’s full of sh!t. At this point, she already got famous by conning a sad middle-aged man (Doug Hutchison) to marry a teenager, so she’s fully aware of just how stupid society is. Anyway, a few questions about all of this:

  • Is that even her? The lighting is so bad that for all I know, this is a bag of peas with some kiosk sunglasses thrown on for good measure.
  • Why are her breasts egg-shaped? What back-alley plastic surgeon would even sign-off on oval implants?
  • Is it just me, or does it always look like one (or both) of her breasts are trying to escape? Seriously, look at any picture of Courtney. There’s always one going rogue. “I must go, my planet needs me,” I assume it says, before it drifts off into space.

Courtney Stodden

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.