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Christina Hendricks’ Boobs Are Now DIAMONDS!

Christina Hendricks’ Boobs Are Now DIAMONDS!
January 18, 2011 JEREMY FEIST

Because there is, in fact, a loving God, Christina Hendricks reportedly almost lost an $850,000 diamond bracelet on the red carpet of the Golden Globes Sunday night. Thankfully, she found the damned thing, but when she couldn’t get it back on, she did the one thing I’ve always secretly fantasized about her doing: SHE HID $850,000 WORTH OF DIAMONDS IN HER CLEAVAGE. BOO-FUCKING-YAH.

Outside, an event worker had found it and handed it back to a relieved Hendricks. But once back at her table, she found she couldn’t get it back on due to a tricky clasp. So she decided to turn it over to her publicist, who was outside, for safekeeping. But security blocked her as she tried to leave the auditorium, as no one is allowed in or out once the show starts. She begged, “Please let me out, I have to give my diamond bracelet to my publicist!” The guard watched wide-eyed as Hendricks pulled the bracelet out from her ample cleavage. He opened the door a crack and she passed the jewels through to her publicist outside. SOURCE

You know what? No. No joke here. If the idea of Christina with nearly a million dollars’ worth of diamonds between her tits isn’t enough for you, then there’s just no hope for you … alright fine, one quick joke. Knock Knock? (Who’s there?) Orange! (Orange who?) Orange you glad that Christina Hendricks had a bunch of diamonds between her boobies? Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all week. Tip your waitresses!