Xtina got her drunk ass a job!

Christina Aguilera

Fresh off her arrest for public intoxication, which is a nice way to say “bitch be drunk off her ass”, Christina Aguilera somehow managed to land a job as a singing coach for an NBC American Idol rip-off called The Voice. Seriously. Someone took one look at her and said, “Well, clearly she’s in poor mental and physical state, and she seems to have an alcohol problem. Let’s get her to coach some impressionable kids!”

Christina Aguilera was officially announced as the third judge on NBC’s The Voice, their new singing competition reality show meant to rival Fox’s American Idol. She joins Cee Lo Green and Adam Levine of Maroon 5, potentially giving the new upstart a more popular judging panel. In fact, they won’t only judge, but they’ll coach the contestants, too. “I am so excited to be part of such a wonderful project that celebrates music and the talent behind it. To be given the opportunity to help shape new artists’ careers and mentor them to see their dreams come to fruition is a task I welcome with open arms.mI am so happy to be working with fellow Grammy Award winners Adam and Cee Lo as I feel there is so much we can all bring to The Voice.” SOURCE

Wait, they got fucking Cee Lo? And the hot but kinda douchey guy from Maroon 5? How the hell is it that NBC somehow managed to make a better American Idol then FOX? The best they could do was Ellen Degeneres, and she left the show because it sucked so hard. Meanwhile, NBC scored CEE LO FUCKING GREEN. Go in the corner and sit on the stool of shame, FOX.

Christina Aguilera

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.