Did you know Chris Brown has a new album coming out? Yeah, I don’t care either. But apparently, this is the last one he’s doing before he decides to quit singing and retire (which he announced on Twitter) due to the fact that everyone keeps bringing up the time he nearly beat a person he professed to love nearly to death, then ditched her. So let’s all feel bad for the 24-year-old who doesn’t have to work for the rest of his life because he released a string of mediocre, misogynistic albums.
You know, in all fairness, maybe I’m just being mean. It must have been really hard for America to say they loved him, only to turn around and beat him and leave him behind. It’s almost as if we assaulted him, even though he was under the impression we loved and cared about him. It must have felt like someone slammed his head into a car door and repeatedly bit down on his face, then left him on the side of the street. He must have felt absolutely violated by someone he loved. Poor Chris.