WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Charlie Sheen wants to be Lindsay Lohan’s sugar daddy?

Charlie Sheen wants to be Lindsay Lohan’s sugar daddy?

So remember when Charlie Sheen gave Lindsay Lohan $100,000 for her taxes out of the kindness of his heart? Then we were all like, “Gosh, I wonder what she had to do for that?” Then we all mimed giving a blowjob? Well, according to National Enquirer, that’s the basic gist of it yeah. Via Celebitchy

“Charlies is in hot pursuit of Lindsay,” said a source. “He wants her to be his new goddess. Charlie has a soft spot for lost causes [Editor’s note: Make that a “hard spot”] and with all her problems – not to mention her latest arrest – Lindsay certainly qualifies.” If anybody can relate to bad behavior, it’s Charlies. “Charlie believes in second chances – and that Lindsay is smoking hot!” said an insider.

[…] “Charlie thinks that Lindsay has been unfairly trashed in the media, especially over her Liz Taylor movie,” said the source. “He believes that a solid TB gig could help her pay off her debts and rebuild her Hollywood reputation. Now Lindsay’s bragging that she asked Charlie to be her business manager.”

Say what you want, but this really is probably the most perfect match ever. I mean really: Lindsay Lohan can blow someone so hard, they’re willing to overlook how badly she screwed them, and Charlie Sheen ejaculates cars. Between the two of them, I’m pretty sure they can suck and bang this country right out of The Fiscal Cliff.

Lindsay Lohan