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Charlie Sheen and Rihanna are fighting on Twitter

Charlie Sheen and Rihanna are fighting on Twitter
May 23, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Charlie Sheen and Rihanna

So apparently, Charlie Sheen and Rihanna were eating out at the same restaurant the other night, and Charlie’s girlfriend, Brett Rossi, really wanted to meet her. Rihanna wasn’t having it, and if there’s one thing Charlie doesn’t like (aside from Two And A Half Men) it’s the feeling of being disrespected or insulted. So he went to Twitter and posted a novel about how Rihanna can rub butter on his butt and take a bite. I’m paraphrasing, but you get the gist.

so,
I took my gal out to dinner
last night with her best
friends for her Bday.
we heard Rihanna was present as well.
I sent a request over to her table to introduce my fiancé
Scotty to her, as she is a
huge fan.

(personally I couldn’t pick her out of a line-up at gunpoint)

well, the word we received back was that there were too
many paps outside and it just wasn’t possible at this time.

At this time? AT THIS TIME??
lemme guess, we’re to reschedule another random
11 million to 1 encounter
with her some other night…?

no biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino and
“please kill me now”
that I’d never get back.

My Gal, however,
was NOT OK with it.
Nice impression you
left behind, Bday or not.
Sorry we’re not KOOL enough
to warrant a blessing from
the Princess.
(or in this case
the Village idiot)

you see THIS is the reason
that I ALWAYS take the time.
THIS is why I’m in this thing
31 awesome years.
Good will and
common courtesy, carefully
established over time to exist radically in concert
with a code of gratitude!

I guess “Talk That Talk”
was just a big ol lie from
a big ol liar.

oh and Riahnna,
Halloween isn’t for a while.
but good on you for testing out your costume in public.
it’s close; a more muted pink might be the answer,
as in:
none.

See ya on the way down,
(we always do)
and actually,
it was a pleasure NOT
meeting you.
clearly we have NOTHING
in common when it comes
to respect for those who’ve
gone before you.
I’m guessing you needed those precious 84 seconds
to situate that bad wig
before you left the restaurant.

Here’s a tip from a real vet
of this terrain;
If ya don’t wanna get bothered
DONT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE!
and if this “Prison of Fame”
is soooooooo unnerving and
difficult, then QUIT, junior!
c

#Hamateur
http://twitpic.com/e4g56o

And since then, this is how Rihanna responded…

Admittedly, I’ve written more than my fair share of angry ranty messages, but I always just do that thing where I let it out and then hit delete. Putting it on Twitter might be a step into muchness, but then again, that’s just how Charlie rolls. The guy puts it out there, and so does Rihanna. I’m sure it’ll all blow over and they’ll forget all about it in a bit anyway. I mean, it’s Hollywood. You’re inundated by so much sparkly sh!t on a regular basis I’m amazed anyone down there can focus for more than two seconds.

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.