Quantcast
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Canada will get Taco Bell breakfast when it takes back Justin Bieber

Canada will get Taco Bell breakfast when it takes back Justin Bieber
March 31, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Justin Bieber

To be completely honest, I’ve only ever had Taco Bell a few times in my life. The BF introduced it to me about a year or so ago, and I can honestly say that whoever invented Fries Supreme is an evil genius. Anyway, apparently the new thing Taco Bell has is breakfast, which is apparently really, really good. Over the weekend, Taco Bell president Brian Niccol did a Reddit AMA to promote the new menu, and when asked if Canada would ever get the breakfast menu, he responded with this nugget of gold …

bordss: Only to America? When is this coming to Canada?

RealTacoBell: When you take Justin Bieber back.

All right, hold on a second here Mr. Niccol. I appreciate the joke here, but let’s be honest. Justin Bieber is America’s fault. In fact, let me use a Taco Bell allegory to help everyone understand where I’m coming from…

Customer: I’d like to return this Fries Supreme for a full refund.
Employee: Oh, I’m sorry! Was there something wrong with it?
Customer: Well, it was good when I had first had it, but then I ate it and now it’s not good anymore.
Employee: Wait wait wait, let me get this straight. You took the Fries Supreme from us, completely fine, and then digested it and sucked all the nutrients out of it and you want us now to take back the husk of something that was once pure and good?
Customer: Yes.
Employee: That’s not going to happen.

And the moral of the story is, you cannot have your delicious, metaphorical Fries Supreme and eat it too. Now I really want Fries Supreme. Excuse me…

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.