britney spears might not be the best mom ever …

I’m sure this must come as a total shock to all of you, but after allegations that Britney Spears beat her kids with a belt and also fed them food they were allergic to! Social workers are gonna be taking a trip to the Spears residence to investigate her ‘parental abilities’. But the joke is on them, because you can’t investigate something that doesn’t exist! HA! Score one for Team Britney!

“He claims the first really shocking incident was when she came marching into the pool house at her mansion and demanded his belt. “He handed it over but then followed her into the main house and claims he witnessed the alleged incident.” Flores also accused Britney of feeding the boys food they were allergic to, including shellfish. The alleged incidents took place in late March or early April. SOURCE

Are you kidding me? That’s it? Christ, at this point I’m almost surprised she hasn’t started using them as furniture. Hey, all I’m saying is that sometimes, when you get home after a long day of walking around without a bra and drinking Starbucks, you need to rest your weary feet. And why pay all that money for an ottoman when you have perfectly good children handy? They also make great can openers and bedside tables!

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Lindsay Lohan Lindsay Lohan on her (messy) first performance of Speed-The-Plow in London ... Dlisted
George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin are now officially married–well, almost! Celebitchy
Jennifer Lopez and BFF Leah Remini were in a hit-and-run with a drunk driver! PopSugar
Sofia Vergara has a problem with that bitch on Modern Family ... find out who! SOW
You can look at the leaked celebrity nudes photos, because they're art now The Blemish
Paris Hilton loves to spend money and her latest outing is totally proof of that! ICYDK
Here is my new favorite picture of Kim Kardashian ... oh such composure! Celebslam
O-Town cutie Ashley Parker Angel is putting his Instagram to very good use ... OMG Blog
I will say this, that famewhore MILF definitely knows how to dress ... Hollywood Tuna
When he is not doing everything Calvin Klein, Matthew Terry likes to model Oh La La
Britney Spears is getting her beauty on and now has a new fancy bob haircut! Evil Beet