Lady Gaga did not make it WERQ last night (or is it spelled WERK? Shit, this is gonna drive me insane). Anyway, because Gaga is shit out of ideas and is literally *this* close to pulling a Divine Who wants to die for art? moment like in John Waters‘ cult classic Female Trouble and just start randomly shooting people, Gaga showed up to the VMAs as her drag alter-ego, Jo Calderone, who is apparently a 12-year-old heroin junkie (‘his’ opening performance of Yoü and I is below in case you missed it). Anyway, the drag king act was so bad that Britney Spears refused to kiss him. RadarOnline reports:
Sorry guys, Britney Spears wasn’t into making out with Lady Gaga at the MTV VMAs Sunday night but RadarOnline.com has the video of the kiss that almost was. The Pop Princess, known for her racy kiss with Madonna at the 2003 VMAs, decided that she isn’t smooching girls on TV anymore. As Lady Gaga presented Britney with the Michael Jackson Vanguard Award, it looked like there might have been a re-enactment of the infamous lip lock. Alas, Britney said “I’ve already done that,” to a disappointed Lady Gaga dressed as her alter ego Jo Calderone.
Wait wait wait … how the shit do you get BritBrit to NOT kiss you? This is the woman who banged famewhore Kevin Federline and allegedly flashed her vagina for a soda pop. Seriously, all you need to do to get her to make out with you is to eat a bunch of Cheetos and drink a Frappuccino. The smell will attract her to your mouth, just like when you leave food out at a campsite and it attracts bears.