Bradley Cooper is going to ruin ‘The Crow’

Bradley Cooper and Brandon Lee

Because Hollywood would literally make film out of orphan tears if they thought it would cut down on production costs, they’re now going to remake the 1994 cult classic, The Crow, with Bradley Cooper. Some of you might remember The Crow as the movie that resulted in the death of martial arts legend Bruce Lee‘s son Brandon Lee, so clearly that guy who was in The A-Team will have absolutely no problem handling this one.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Cooper is in talks to star in a remake of the 1994 dark comic book-based classic, The Crow. Cooper just opened the thriller Limitless number one at the box office, proving his leading man status; Relativity Media, the company behind that film, is also the engine behind The Crow remake. About a slain rocker returned from the dead to avenge his death, the original film starred Brandon Lee, son of martial arts legend Bruce, who was tragically killed after a prop gun accidentally shot him with a dummy bullet. THR says that Cooper has already met with the film’s director, and that it’s on a pace for rapid development. SOURCE

You know, I used to think that making a live-action Yogi Bear movie was the tipping point for Hollywood’s complete and total lack of original ideas. But now, I will gladly watch a three sequels to a movie where Yogi Bear fists Alvin and the Chipmunks if it means never having to suffer through a remake of The Crow. And the worst part is that come Halloween, like 80% of the world’s gay population is going to end up dressing up as Eric Draven (the other 20%: various slutty professions), and everyone’s just going to look like a total tool. Congrats, Hollywood, you’ve ruined gay Halloween!

Bradley Cooper and Brandon Lee

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.