Brad Pitt wants to buy Angelina Jolie’s sex tape?

True story: Back when Nadya ‘Octomom’ Suleman‘s sex tape came out, we had an absolute FLOOD of people who were interested in watching a vaguely human-looking flesh thing stick things into its thing while they diddled themselves. That is horrifying, yet I managed to pay for a brand new kitchen counter based solely off those page views. So here’s a story about how Angelina Jolie allegedly has a sex tape that Brad Pitt is willing to pay $10 Million for, because we’re doing our bathroom in a Moroccan theme. CLICK YOU MAJESTIC, SEX CRAZED BASTARDS! Via Showbiz Spy

“Brad’s out to protect the new image that Angelina has tried hard to build – A-list actress, dot­ing mother of six and UN human-rights crusader,” a source said. “He’ll do whatever it takes to buy these pho­tos and track down the alleged sex tape.” According to the source, a team of investigators Brad hired to find incriminating evi­dence of Angelina’s past has told him that the 37-year-old actress may have made a sex tape dur­ing a “drug-fueled session” in 1999. “The alleged tape was made around the same time that a friend snapped kinky photos of a strung-out look­ing Angelina,” said the mole. “Angie was so whacked out on dope that she doesn’t recall exactly what she did. But she believes that it may have involved ‘cutting,’ as well as racy sex. “He’s willing to spend $10 million if he has to. When it comes to Angie and the kids, money is no object.”

First off, holy hell, Angelina does not mess around when it comes to alleged sex tapes, does she? I mean chances are, this story is fake, because as wild as Angie was back in her heyday, if she really did have a sex tape floating around, you can bet your ass you wouldn’t be hearing about it. Seriously, that’s some famewhore Kim Kardashian, ‘look at me everyone’ crap.

Angelina Jolie

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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