- Can I just say I’m amazed that Ice Age has made it to four movies? FOUR. MOVIES. They’re not bad movies, but they’re just incredibly forgettable. I’ve actually watched the first three already, and I can honestly say I don’t remember a thing about any of them. For all I know, I could have just dreamed up the whole thing. Anyway, Ice Age: Continental Drift is still keeping the series alive, as it brought in $46 Million, which sounds impressive until you realize it was the only major release this weekend. And I’m willing to bet half of that was brought in by Maggie Simpson.
- The Amazing Spider-Man is still holding strong, mostly as a big middle finger to Disney from Sony, as if to say “Ha ha! As long as we keep making these movies, we maintain the film rights to Spider-Man!” And if that’s not enough, the movie took in another $35 Million, which I think means that somewhere out there, 3,500,000 people are walking around saying, “Well, at least this one didn’t feature Tobey McGuire turning into some dancing emo bitch.”
- Ted is still faring pretty well for a movie about what is essentially a Teddy Ruxpin with a dirty mix-tape crammed into it’s mouth. But then again, Seth MacFarlane has always been really good at turning impossible premises into money-making machines, so it isn’t really a surprise that it made another $22.1 Million, because even as I’m typing this, Seth MacFarlane is taking ten dollars out of my wallet. Think I care? Hells naw. Seth MacFarlane.
- Despite the biggest, and only, new release this weekend being an animated 3D kids movie, Brave still managed to maintain its hold on the box office, bringing in another $10.7 Million over the weekend. By the looks of it, it’ll cross the $200 Million mark by Thursday, making it the tenth Pixar movie to do so.
- All right, I finally went to see Magic Mike this weekend, and honestly? I thought it was pretty good. Not great, but good. Honestly, it would have been better if they fleshed out some of the other characters a bit more and maybe avoided the whole “strippers and drugs” cliche. Also, in real life, no stripper will ever put that much work into an act. At best, it’s a straight roid-monster awkwardly shuffling on stage. Disappointing, I know. Anyway, the movie earned $9 Million, despite not showing any penis, thus making this movie the most profitable cock-tease ever.
July 16, 2012