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Box Office: Old Guys Make Things Go Boom

Box Office: Old Guys Make Things Go Boom
The Expendables 2

The Expendables 2

  • You know, I almost went to go see The Expendables 2, because the combined sexual forces of Jason Statham and Terry Crews is just … yup. But then I remembered that Chuck Norris decided to ride the high horse by demanding that all those naughty swear words be taken out of the movie. You know, because mass murder and physical violence are a-okay, but someone droppig an F-bomb when Mr. Statham knocks five years of education out of their skull with his fist? WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?! Anyway, Chuck being a total weenie didn’t stop the movie from earning $28.7 Million, so yay for them I guess.
  • The Bourne Legacy, the Diet Cola of the Bourne series, still isn’t doing all that hot, earning $17 Million in its second week, which still leaves it far away from its production budget. Which is kind of weird, because as long as they kept shaking the camera, would anyone really have noticed if Matt Damon wasn’t in it?
  • Awwww, I was really hoping ParaNorman would do better numbers than this, but when given the choice between a well-written, oddball story and a movie where things go boom, people will always pick the one where things go boom. Anyway, the movie still made $14 Million, which is nothing to scoff at.
  • The Campaign made $13.3 Million this weekend, and [Insert joke about campaign finance reform here]! (That’s right, I went there. I’m political like that. I watch The Daily Show.)
  • Oh, Sparkle … you were Whitney Houston’s last movie before she died, and you only made it to fifth place. I mean, in all fairness, the movie wasn’t exactly a masterpiece, but still … fifth? Come on. Anyway, it made $12 Million, which really isn’t that bad when you consider the movie was made for $14 Million, so really not bad.