The FBI will now get to the bottom of … The Fappening!

Kate Upton

First, off let me just say that I love Reddit. Dearly. I may not get the point of Karma, but I do appreciate how incredibly efficient it can be as a content aggregator. That being said, "The Fappening." Lord, you motherf*ckers know how to make my heart hurt. I mean it's clever, but considering how dozens of women just had their personal privacy invaded (like Kate Upton), immediately going with the jack-off joke might have been in bad taste. MORE

Justin Bieber got arrested (possibly violating his probation)

Justin Bieber

This may come as a surprise to you, but Justin Bieber did something stupid today. I know, I'm utterly shocked. My socks have been knocked clean off my feet and have rocketed across the room. What a marvelous break from the norm this has been. Except this time, it happened in Canada, and he got arrested. So actually, this is almost kind of a surprise inasmuch as we all knew he'd be arrested, we just didn't know when. TMZ reports ... Justin MORE

Kanye West ranted at Jay Pharoah for impersonating him

Kanye West

If there's one thing I've learned about Kanye West in the time I've spent blogging, it's that he has the sense of hum our of a funeral director. I don't think I've ever seen anyone with less of a sense of humor about himself. The reason his face is so baby-smooth is because it's never been marred by laugh lines. Or laughter. Point is, Kanye is a humourless killjoy. So much so, that he actually ranted at SNL star Jay Pharoah after seeing him do MORE

Links: Gaga is (more than) “Two Steps” behind Madonna

Madonna "Two Steps Behind Me" Lady Gaga Diss Track

→ Madonna disses Lady Gaga on her rumored upcoming track "Two Steps Behind Me" The Blemish → Adam Levine feels 'slightly more masculine, more like a man' now that he's married Celebitchy → Beyoncé and Jay Z's Labor Day PDA puts an end to those rampant divorce rumors! PopSugar → Oh Dear: Girls' Lena Dunham Instagrammed a photo of herself just as she woke up ... SOW → Truth: Courtney Stodden will never come close to MORE

Exposed Via Nude Photo Leak: Jennifer Lawrence (+ more!)

Jennifer Lawrence

Normally, I'd be more than happy to take Labor Day off, even though it's kind of a useless holiday that basically acts as breakup sex with summer. The more you think about that one, the more it makes sense. Anyway, I was going to just putz around all day, but then alleged nude pictures of Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande, and pretty much every female celebrity you could ever think of leaked onto the web, so now we're MORE

Box Office: Guardians of the Galaxy–top-grossing film of 2014

Chris Pratt

Every Monday, I usually do a quick thing on the top five movies at the box office, except that this week, we had the exact same top three as the week before. Seriously. The only major change was that Parisian hell movie making it to fourth, but other than that, it's pretty much the same as last week. So instead, let's switch gears and talk about Guardians of the Galaxy. Specifically, that Guardians has just become the biggest movie of the year, MORE

Britney Spears: Done with David Lucado’s cheating ways!

Britney Spears and David Lucado

Coming off of the "BRANGELINA GOT MARRIED!" story, here's one about a massive pop star splitting up with her boyfriend–who messed up in a big way. Britney Spears' (loser) boyfriend David Lucado (where the hell did she find this redneck–just ugh) not only decided to cheat on her, but also taped the whole damn thing. And here's where it gets even worse: Britney's dad Jamie Spears–who still holds a conservatorship (now in its sixth year) over MORE

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt got married!

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

So apparently, after being together for nine years, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie made it official a few days ago by getting married. Possibly. Honestly, I don't think there's been any confirmation from the happy couple, but everyone on the internet is saying it's true, so it must be true! Via Us Weekly: Leave it to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to pull off the impossible in Hollywood -- a secret wedding! The high-profile couple somehow managed MORE

Kylie Jenner is the new Kim Kardashian …

Kylie Jenner

Deep down, I think we all knew that Kim Kardashian couldn't last forever (although it feels like it by now). Like oil reserves or helium, we only had a set amount of tolerance for Kim's famewhoring ways, and it was rapidly depleting. Between Kim's fast fading beauty, her dwindling career opportunities and her in general caustic demeanor, eventually we would need to think about expanding outwards to other forms of Kardashian. So lo and behold, MORE

‘American Horror Story: Freak Show’ has some new teasers!

American Horror Story: Freakshow

Now that American Horror Story: Freak Show (premiering October 8th on FX) is unleashing their teasers for real this time (along with the just released official character poster posted above), it's time for everyone's favorite game ... Baseless Fan Speculation! The game that accomplishes nothing and just manages to irritate everyone! So, let's see the two new teasers, shall we? All right, so now we have snake man, three-legged acrobat MORE

Justin Bieber is comparing himself to Princess Diana?

Justin Bieber

You know what's sad? This morning, I woke up, found two different Justin Bieber stories, and had to debate which one was dumber and ergo more postable. Ultimately, I skipped Justin trying to mess with a guy's cell phone at Dave & Buster's in lieu of writing about how he got rear-ended by a photographer and is now comparing himself to the late Princess Diana. I guess what I'm trying to say is STOP GIVING ME OPTIONS. At least limit yourself to MORE

Kim Kardashian doesn’t want to be Beyoncé’s buddy anymore?

Kanye West, Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian (hell, her entire family really) has always struck me as a person who never really progressed mentally, emotionally, or psychologically past high school. Which would explain why a woman well into her thirties would build her entire life and career around the very nebulous idea of being "popular". Because let's be honest: If you're over the age of thirty, and you still spend this much time worrying about other people being aware of MORE

So the 2014 Emmy Awards were handed out last night …

66th Primetime Emmy Awards

Well, that was anticlimactic. Yes, I actually managed to watch the 66th Primetime Emmy Awards last night hosted by Seth Meyers, and yes, they went off pretty smoothly. But I stick with my initial reaction: There were no real surprises. It was like a repeat performance, watching all the previous winners (Breaking Bad! Modern Family! Jim Parsons, the only saving grace of The Big Bang Theory!) all get yet another win. Anyway, here's the complete MORE

Did Nicki Minaj fake her VMAs wardrobe malfunction?

Nicki Minaj

One of the biggest stories from MTV's VMAs last night, other than "Hey look, Kim Kardashian is still a terrible person!" was Nicki Minaj having herself a wardrobe malfunction after her dress refused to zip and she had to hold the damn thing together for the duration of her performance. In a related story, Nicki wears clothes? Huh–you learn something new every day. Anyway, TMZ is now reporting that the entire thing may have been one big MORE

A PSA for the Kardashians (and others like ‘em!)

Jenners and Kardashians

Hello? Is thing thing on? *Tap tap* Okay good. Now then ... *Clears throat* Get off your f*cking phones. Get off your phones when you're having dinner with friends and family. Get off your phones when you're at a funeral. Get off your phones when you're at work. Get off your phones when you're in a meeting. Get off your phone every time you feel bored. And especially, Kim Kardashian, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner, get off your f*cking MORE