(Adam Levine on Anderson / Monday, February 27th, 2012)
This photo is truly adorable!
Links: Jennifer Aniston got her star!
• Find out why Chris Brown should seriously just shut the hell up now! IDLYITW
• Bobbi Kristina’s issues after Whitney’s death – are the tabloids going too far? Cele|bitchy
• Nicki Minaj goes all blue in a brand new spread for the latest issue of Vogue Rickey
• Britney Spears has expressed an interest in joining The X Factor judging panel? I’m Not Obsessed
• I don’t know when this happened, but apparently Calista Flockhart is a zombie now! Celebslam
• Oh no! Is Bobby Brown really going to release a Whitney Houston tell-all book? Allie Is Wired
• OMG! The National Enquirer printed a photo of Whitney Houston in her open casket! Socialite Life
• This portrait of Rick Santorum is certainly no ordinary portrait of Rick Santorum! The Frisky
• David Gest has claimed that Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston were once in love! ONTD
• Rose McGowan has looked a little different every time we’ve seen her for awhile! TheFABlife
• Jennifer Aniston had her dad and Justin’s support at her Walk of Fame ceremony! PopSugar
• Is Donald Trump trying to start a war with David Letterman? Seriously? OMG! WTF?
• Amanda Seyfried has her very own personal (and creepy) taxidermy collection?! BuzzFeed
• Jennifer Love Hewitt promoted her new show while eating lunch on her birthday ICYDK
• From Paris to New York, male model Sebastian Sauvé is rocking Jeremy Scott! Oh La La
• It’s that time of year again, casting for Big Brother (14) begins very soon! Celebrity Smack
• We all know that Irina Shayk is one of the hottest women on the planet right now! Hollywood Tuna
• What does Chris Brown’s current girlfriend think about all this Rihanna business? Hollywood Rag
• Rumor has it that Kourtney Kardashian is going to give birth to a little girl! Evil Beet
• Megan Fox isn’t posing, this is just how she looks when she’s sitting on the beach! Yeeeah
• Who wants to see sexy Frenchmen actor Jean Dujardin’s bare ass? (NSFW) OMG Blog
• The Daily Crunch: Rihanna, Adele, Ricky Martin, Taylor Swift, Whitney Houston ArjanWrites
Adam Levine believes in pulling out!
Because today I’m leaning heavily on the celebrity penis to help push some page views (once again, I know what you guys like: famous cocks). So let’s ride this a little longer — teehee! — with this story about how Adam Levine went on The Howard Stern Show and spoke about how he fully endorses pulling out as a means of contraception. Which, when you consider how politicians everywhere are shitting themselves over the idea that women might want their birth control covered by healthcare the way men have their Viagra covered, might actually be the only form of contraception women can use soon. OK! reports:
“This is the longest, most functional relationship I’ve ever been in,” he told Howard on his show. “I don’t want to screw it up.” Anna reportedly came out of the green room to share her version of how she met Adam. The two met when Maroon 5 was hired to play at a party for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. “He thought I was a stuck-up b**** and I kind of thought he was a d***bag musician,” she explained. In a TMI conversation, Adam revealed he uses “a fool-proof birth-control system,” the pull-out method.
Okay, mind you, studies have shown that when executed perfectly, pulling out has a failure rate of only 4%, which compared to the condom’s 2% is pretty good. That being said, pulling out provides little to no protection when it comes to defending against STDs, so I’d still say using condoms are a safer bet. Yes, they don’t feel as good as unprotected sex, but you know what feels even worse? Gonorrhea!
Is Lindsay Lohan getting her life back on track?
All right, so it looks like Lindsay Lohan might be back to the point where her legal woes are almost behind her and she is hopefully staying as far away from drugs and alcohol as she possibly can, as evidenced by her latest probation hearing where Judge Stephanie Sautner praised LiLo for finally cleaning up her act (*knocks on wood*). TMZ reports:
Lindsay Lohan just got yet another rave review from Judge Stephanie Sautner during her probation progress report hearing this AM — as Sautner proudly announced, “You’re in the home stretch!” The judge was impressed — that for the 3rd time in a row, Lindsay completed her required community service and therapy sessions. Sautner gushed, “You seem to be getting your life back on track.”
Lindsay has ONE MORE progress hearing set for March 29th — by which date she must complete her final 14 days of community service at the L.A. County morgue, and 5 more therapy sessions. If she stays on track, Lindsay will be placed on informal probation, meaning all she has to do is obey all laws.
Look, we’ve hammered Lindsay for being unprofessional and irresponsible in the past, but ultimately, we’re not praying for her to fail. We want to see Lindsay back on her feet, because really, no one wants to actually see someone suffer. Did we call out her shit in the past? Of course, but there’s a difference between calling for someone’s failure, and watching someone act like a nutjob and go “hey, that’s kinda messed up”. If she’s actually serious about addressing her behavior and the reason behind it, good for her. That being said, we’re not going to coddle her if she screws up again. Lock that shit down, LiLo.
Let’s talk about Joe Manganiello’s penis!
Yup, don’t need to change that headline. Hey, we know our audience. You’re all here because you want to hear about Joe Manganiello and how he’s going to be shaking his thing in the upcoming male stripper movie, Magic Mike (alongside fellow hotties Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Matthew McConaughey, and Matt Bomer). And yes, I have already reserved my ticket. Get it girl. OUT magazine reports:
Joe Manganiello plays Big Dick Richie. He demurs when asked if he stuffed his G-string to fill out the challenging sobriquet. “Um, I’ll let everybody see the movie and they can decide,” he says sheepishly. He insists that no waxing was involved, however. “I don’t have any body hair,” he explains. “It stops at my neck. I’m part Sicilian and Armenian.” Manganiello’s Greek-sculpture physique worked well with the part. “It’s incredible what kind of shape he’s in,” says the director, Steven Soderbergh. “The joke on the set was he was walking CGI. At one point, we have him painted gold, and it’s pretty cool.” But his body didn’t get him the role.
So let me get this straight: Someone got Joe naked, then painted him gold. How has Hollywood not already lined up, like, four sequels to this movie? There is absolutely no way in hell this movie will not earn millions of dollars. Because of the penis. The golden penis.
The Kardashians are being sued over QuickTrim
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: the Kardashian family was paid to endorse a product that either doesn’t work or completely screws over the user, and then everyone was all like “wait, this product is bullshit!” and then the Kardashians get sued for trying to pimp out a useless product. Oh, wait, you have heard this one before? Well, what if I told you that instead of a credit card for teenage girls that will send them to the poor house, this time it’s a useless diet pill full of caffeine? Page Six reports:
Kim Kardashian and her sister Khloé face a possible class-action lawsuit over their diet product QuickTrim, which detractors say contains high levels of caffeine, an ingredient that’s “not safe or effective for weight loss.” Kim and Khloé caused a stir over their paid endorsement of the product, which features a picture of bikini-clad Kim. It has reportedly generated $45 million in revenue since they struck the deal with New Jersey-based Windmill Health Products in 2009. Law firm Bursor & Fisher is preparing a suit against Windmill and the marketing claims made by the Kardashians. An email it sent to product users included a link to the firm’s web site, which states, “The active ingredient in QuickTrim weight loss products is a large dose of caffeine … the FDA has determined that caffeine is not safe or effective for weight loss.”
Wait, do people still think that diet pills actually work? And do people still think that the Kardashians are anything other than money grubbing famewhores who would try and sell you poison as mouthwash if someone paid them enough? No offense, but I’m not sure how well this lawsuit is going to hold up since in a rational world, anyone who saw Kim and Khloé Kardashian hawking shady diet pills and thought “me too!” should have been eaten by wolves by now.
Jeremy Lin isn’t dating Kim Kardashian
Because you can’t be a successful athlete without someone claiming that you’re doing Kim Kardashian (that someone is Kim) Jeremy Lin had to shoot down rumors that he’s dating Kim. The best part? His reasoning is she isn’t even his type. So if you need another reason to love Jeremy, he doesn’t go for the whole “attention-seeking famewhore” type. And I found the perfect man. USA Today reports:
In it, the single, 23-year old Harvard graduate turned overnight NBA sensation shot down rumors he’s dating reality TV star Kim Kardashian who recently divorced Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets. “Stuff about me dating Kim Kardashian, I mean, I have no idea where that came from and all these other rumors,” said Lin, adding he doesn’t think they’re each others “type.”
It should be noted that this is the power of the Lin: He’s so hot, Kim is willing to humor the idea that the two of them would ever date. I mean granted, if the next big thing was a story about a dog who rescued a baby from a burning building, I have no doubt in my mind that Kim would try and claim that she was banging the dog. “Oh yeah, Fido? We’re together now. He’s great! I just rub his tummy and he goes right back to sleep … it’s like being back with Kris Humphries, in that I also had Kris’ balls cut off. It’s a sexual thing.”
Adele flips the bird after getting cut off!
If there’s anything I learned from the Brit Awards, other than the fact that the British are equally bad at time managing their award shows, it’s that if you cut off Adele‘s acceptance speech for Best Album of the Year (for 21) so that Blur can play, she will not hesitate to flip you the bird, and she will be charming and elegant while she does it. “Cut me off, will you? Behold the most beautiful ‘FUCK YOU’ you’ve ever seen! Pip pip cheerio bangers and mash and Downton Abbey and whatnot.”
“Can I just say sorry for swearing? I flung the middle finger at the suits, not the fans, I want people to know that. Sorry if I offended anyone, but the people in suits offended me. I wasn’t swearing at the fans, but I didn’t get to complete my thank you speech!”
