Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner broke up

For the sake of this post, just pretend it’s still 2004 and these two a-holes are still relevant. Anyway, annoying screechy faux-rocker chick Avril Lavigne and douchey Kardashian satellite Brody Jenner have ended their relationship after who gives a shit years, citing irreconcilable douche-ferences. They’re differences, but douchier. Us Weekly reports:

Calling it quits last week, Lavigne, 25, and Jenner, 26, clashed over how to balance their relationship with their individual career pursuits. “Every time he wanted to come back and take meetings to get his career back in order, she would make him go to Asia and Europe,” an insider tells Us of Lavigne, who released her fourth studio album, Goodbye Lullaby, in March 2011, and helms her own clothing line, Abbey Dawn. “He hasn’t worked and he wants to. They were both unhappy because he wants to have his career, she wants him to stay with her,” argues the insider, adding that Lavigne vetoed multiple TV show offers Jenner recently received.

HA! It’s cute how they both think they still have careers. Quick, name anything Brody has ever done! Trick question, he’s never actually done anything. And yes, Avril has actually released some albums, but it’s probably for the best to pretend those don’t exist.

Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner with Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

Super Fresh Gossip From Around The Web!

Kim Kardashian Things We Don't Want To See: Kim Kardashian upcoming book of her selfies! Evil Beet
Jennifer Aniston: Justin Theroux 'will put a gun to my head' if I get fillers like Botox! Celebitchy
Britney Spears is flaunting her (26th) new body with some very sexy pictures ... PopSugar
Jared Leto has been looking like Jesus for a while–now he is taking it even further ... SOW
Perennially constipated Kristen Stewart has lots to say in the new issue of ELLE The Blemish
Sorry everyone, but Kate Upton is not planning to get naked anytime soon! ICYDK
Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger have way more money than they should have! Celebslam
OMG, smelt it, dealt it ... Lady Gaga dropped a new fragrance–EAU DE GAGA OMG Blog
Madame Tussauds just unveiled their brand-new Selena Gomez wax figure Hollywood Tuna
Hottie Matthew Terry covers DANSK magazine's new autumn / winter issue! Oh La La
Oh, it's just Beyoncé reminding us (AGAIN) she's still in love with her husband ... Dlisted