WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP
WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP
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Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner broke up

Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner broke up

For the sake of this post, just pretend it’s still 2004 and these two a-holes are still relevant. Anyway, annoying screechy faux-rocker chick Avril Lavigne and douchey Kardashian satellite Brody Jenner have ended their relationship after who gives a shit years, citing irreconcilable douche-ferences. They’re differences, but douchier. Us Weekly reports:

Calling it quits last week, Lavigne, 25, and Jenner, 26, clashed over how to balance their relationship with their individual career pursuits. “Every time he wanted to come back and take meetings to get his career back in order, she would make him go to Asia and Europe,” an insider tells Us of Lavigne, who released her fourth studio album, Goodbye Lullaby, in March 2011, and helms her own clothing line, Abbey Dawn. “He hasn’t worked and he wants to. They were both unhappy because he wants to have his career, she wants him to stay with her,” argues the insider, adding that Lavigne vetoed multiple TV show offers Jenner recently received.

HA! It’s cute how they both think they still have careers. Quick, name anything Brody has ever done! Trick question, he’s never actually done anything. And yes, Avril has actually released some albums, but it’s probably for the best to pretend those don’t exist.

Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner with Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries