Look, I usually don't judge people for their sex lives, unless I think they're just exploiting it for a little face time. I mean hell, look at me; it's my goddamn job! Which is why Miley Cyrus' (who does turn 18 soon) new music video for her single Who Owns My Heart makes me feel weird. And not just weird in the Oh shit, am I a statutory rapist for watching this? way. Here's the thing: Teens are sluts. All of them. Even the weird virginal ones MORE
Someone threw a drink at Kim Kardashian!
Let me start off by saying that violence against women is never funny. Unless it involves clowns. Then it's hilarious (just kidding). That being said, I kind of love this story about Kim Kardashian and her sister Khloé getting a smackdown from a jealous woman after her boyfriend asked to get a picture with them. Honestly, I firmly believe that the Kardashians are the most useless people ever. They're not even fun to write about. Except for now. MORE
Tila Tequila: Still lying about her sex tape!
Alright, you'd figure by now most people would have caught on to the whole 'people can't randomly leak a sex tape online without a signed release form and valid government ID' thing, but then again, most people aren't that bright. Anyway, Tila Tequila is getting all fake pissed at her ex-boyfriend for selling her sex tapes, which would probably be total bullshit even if this wasn't a transparent ruse because Tila would fuck a camel for a can of MORE
Tila Tequila legally declared a filthy whore!
First, let me start off by saying: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You stupid whore. Alright, now that I got that out of the way, let's continue. Anyway, That Tequila Bitch tried to get an injunction to stop the 'leak' of her 'sex tape', because people can just randomly unleash your sex tape onto the internet without your express permission now. Except ha ha! The judge pretty much called her a lying little fug-ass troll whore and told her to shut MORE
Everyone hates Jersey Shore’s Angelina!
No, not that Angelina. The D-List one on Jersey Shore with no talent. Yeah, that's the bitch. Anyway, she of the incessant bitchiness and weird clingy nature is going on record saying that MTV was being super unfair to her and that she doesn't understand why everyone on the show hates her, despite being kind of a total douchebag. Hmmm ... Maybe it's just you? Another time, she adds, "I found olive oil and grated cheese all over my bed. I picked MORE
Chelsea Handler is definitely-maybe banging 50 Cent(?!)
It's official: Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent are now definitely banging because Chelsea said she wasn't banging him. See how these things work? Anyway, despite being photographed together at a New Orleans bar, Chelsea took to Twitter to tell everyone that she was not letting Fiddy stick his lollipop in her candy shop, which means that he probably was because everything celebrities say on Twitter is the opposite. Everyone, calm down. I met with mr. MORE
Don’t quit your day job, James Franco!
Alright, this is the one thing that's always confused me about LGBT magazines: they all have this weird habit of putting straight people on their covers. I mean yes, you can say that human sexuality is less rigid than merely gay and straight and that even those who identify as either of these are merely leaning towards one end of the sexual spectrum, but if I'm gonna pay for a copy of OUT, I wanna see some homos goddammit! Case in point, here's MORE
Tim Gunn: It Gets Better!
Unless you're one of those people who doesn't understand how the Internet works and thinks that those magical flying machines are powered by witchcraft, you've probably heard about the recent and alarming string of gay teen suicides stemming from anti-gay bullying. In order to fight what is a tragic, senseless and easily preventable problem, LGBT celebrities are coming out with videos for the It Gets Better project, which is designed to help kids MORE
Gay men everywhere <3 Christina Hendricks!
Oh whatever, you all know it's true: if you are a dude who likes other dudes, then chances are you also love Mad Men star Christina Hendricks, with her being a curvy, statuesque goddess and all. Well, as it turns out Christina loves it when gay guys and women hit on her, which I'd be only too happy to do. Seriously, anyone who says they wouldn't switch teams for that piece of ginger pie is clearly insane. Men love her--that's a given--but women MORE
50 Cent and Chelsea Handler might be banging (?!)
Hello, random celebrity couple that makes no sense. Anyway, TMZ managed to snap some pictures of 50 Cent and Chelsea Handler together at a bar in New Orleans last night, which means that by law they are now dating. It's called the TMZ rule: Basically, if one party has a penis and the other has a vagina, and both parties are photographed together, they are no dating. Ain't love grand? 50 Cent and Chelsea Handler went to a bar in New Orleans last MORE
Dina Lohan is still a giant failure as a mother!
The general rule in Hollywood is that, if you want to save a little face, you go to Barbara Walters. Barbara will lob soft balls at you while she sings you a lullaby and bakes you cookies. Case in point: Dina Lohan went to Barbara to let everyone know that, while she may have screwed her kids up to the point of no return, she's a great mother. Yeah, and so was Joan Crawford. According to Walters, Dina also wanted to make it clear that while MORE
Katherine Heigl smokes … electronically!
As some of you might remember, I used to write for a site called Litely Salted, where my contract stated that I had to mock Katherine Heigl as viciously as possible at all times. Well, I'm at Popbytes now, so I'm going to give her a fresh start. Just like how Katherine Heigl is quitting smoking by ... Well, doing exactly what she's doing right now, only the cigarettes are machines, which I'm sure will end very well and not with her dying horribly MORE
Jon Stewart just wants an apology!
Alright, so by now you've probably heard how Rick Sanchez, the hackiest hack to ever hack a hack on CNN, got shitcanned for going on satellite radio and saying that Jon Stewart was a bigot and that Jews control the media. Seriously. Anyway, Jon Stewart handled it the way he usually does: with a charming, witty retort. Oh Jon Stewart, you're so dreamy... "If you went on radio and said the Jews control the media...you may want to hold on to your MORE
Jennifer Aniston is (still) an eligible woman!
Another day, another story about how Jennifer Aniston is still single. Seriously. Anyway, Jennifer topped a poll of the most eligible single women out there, and before you take this as some sort of major victory, you should probably know right now that the list also included Betty White and supreme court justice Elena Kagan. Yay? The currently-unattached actress, 41, was voted the most eligible single woman in the world, according to a 60 MORE
