Well, at least one Lohan’s in jail …

Michael Lohan

So as it becomes ever clearer that no matter how hard she screws up, Lindsay Lohan will never go to jail because the California legal system has a serious case of derp-brain, Michael Lohan is picking up the Lohan  jail time slack by being locked up in solitary confinement and making collect calls to Real Housewives. Yup, that just happened. From RadarOnline: Michael Lohan is locked up in jail in Florida in solitary confinement but RadarOnline MORE

Lindsay Lohan has to redo her Playboy shots!

Lindsay Lohan

For those of you wondering why Lindsay Lohan was given an entire week to surrender for her jail sentence, even though she would apparently only have to go for something like thirty minutes ... well, it turns out those million-dollar naked shots that she took for Playboy magazine last week weren't up to snuff, so the California legal system is going to accommodate her for a week so that she can let people take a whole new set of nude pictures. MORE

Courtney Stodden goes ‘natural’

When you think of Courtney Stodden, what do you think of? Chances are, you just thought of a wall of make-up trying to devour itself, right? Well Courtney decided to show everyone that she's more than just a pretty, poorly painted-on face by going out without make-up! By which we mean she went out in make-up, but she just wore enough to make her face look approximately human. Either that or her face is naturally about three shades lighter than MORE

Kim Kardashian is too distraught to carry on!

Kim Kardashian

For those of you who pegged "three days" as the amount of time it would take before Kim Kardashian started milking it for free money, then yay you! You just won an imaginary pool! Anyway, after saying in an Australian interview that she wouldn't let her divorce keep her from her "duties", Kim has decided the sadness of getting divorced from a guy she felt nothing for after only 72 days has left her so distraught that she can't do anything useful MORE

Justin Bieber hasn’t denied doing that groupie!

Mariah Yeater and Justin Bieber

While I'm pretty sure "DENY ALL THE THINGS" is like the first lesson of PR Disaster Management 101 -- I'm assuming number two is "stock up on shovels and shower curtains" -- Justin Bieber seems to have forgotten that valuable lesson. While his lawyers are calling maybe/maybe-not baby mama Mariah Yeater a liar, while Justin is dodging the rumors on Twitter, they kind of forgot the most important part: the part where Justin actually says he never MORE

Lindsay’s jail sentence: 30 days turns into 30 minutes!

Lindsay Lohan

Yesterday, I tweeted a joke about how Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to jail for 30 days, but since she's Lindsay, it'll only be six days, and since this is California, it'll only be five minutes. And I laughed and laughed because there's no way the California penal system is that completely broken, right? Well, it turns out my joke was actually the truth, because it looks like thanks to a bait-and-switch from the sheriff, Lindsay's jail sentence MORE

Kim Kardashian is a liar!

Kim Kardashian

We can all add "greedy" to the long, long, incredibly long, I mean just RIDICULOUSLY LONG list of reasons why Kim Kardashian is the worst person in pop culture ever, because after only being married for 72 days to Kris Humphries, Kim is refusing to give back the millions of dollars worth of wedding gifts she got for her fake publicity marriage, even though the family of Emily Post, the woman who literally wrote the book on marriage etiquette, MORE

It’s official: Lindsay Lohan is going to jail!

Lindsay Lohan

All right, so Lindsay Lohan will officially start her 30 days of jail time sometime within the week, and has another 270 days ready and willing to screw her into oblivion if she violates her parole. These are the details as gleaned from the live-feed of the trial from TMZ: The prosecution starts off by reminding everyone about all the ways Lindsay completely blew off her community service, and then Shawn Chapman Holley tries to bargain them MORE

Justin Bieber is having a Maury moment!

Justin Bieber

Oh gosh ... this is too much. Way too much. Look, at first I thought Kim Kardashian's fairytale divorce would have inundated me with crazy news, and that would be enough. But nooooooooooo, the gossip gods (not real) have apparently seen fit to dump even more crazy on me, in the form of a paternity lawsuit filed against Justin Bieber by a 20-year-old woman who claims that the tiny, tiny Canadian stuck a maple baby in her lady oven. RadarOnline MORE

Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard are divorcing!

Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard

Poor Zooey Deschanel... her new show is getting some pretty decent ratings and reviews, she has a new Christmas album out (which is faring less well ...) and she seemed to be finally getting that mainstream success. But now she's getting a divorce from her husband, Death Cab for Cutie frontman Ben Gibbard. Us Weekly reports: Just two years after tying the knot, Zooey Deschanel and Ben Gibbard have separated, Deschanel's rep confirms to Us MORE

Sarah Jessica Parker wore a silly hat!

Sarah Jessica Parker

Hey, not everything can be about divorces and jailed cokewhores and giant famewhore asses. Sometimes it's about Sarah Jessica Parker wearing silly hats because she's pretty much been playing moderately adjusted versions of Carrie Bradshaw for the past thirteen years. The Daily Mail reports: Wearing a tight-fitted Chanel tweed dress with button detail down the front, the mother-of-three looked chic in a pair of black stilettos - but chose to MORE

Kris Jenner also wants your attention too!

Kris Jenner

Sensing that her daughter Kim Kardashian is facing tons of negative press, and that all that attention should be going to herself (HOW DARE SHE!) Kris Jenner decided that the time is right to promote her new memoir Kris Jenner ... and All Things Kardashian by capitalizing on the Nicole Brown Simpson / Ronald Goldman murder and how she could have stopped it all herself. See? All Kardashians are terrible people! Not just a select few! RadarOnline MORE

The continuing saga of Scarlett Johansson’s boobs and bum

Scarlett Johansson

I know, I know, another post about Scarlett Johansson's boobs and bum. But hey, considering how much you guys seem to love this (no really, the page-views on just one of these posts alone could pay my rent) we're going to keep talking about them until they sag down to the floor. Anyway, in a new interview with Vanity Fair, Scarlett revealed that the pictures were originally meant for Ryan Reynolds' eyes only. For some reason, the little "for MORE

Kim Kardashian’s wedding was a hoax?

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

Okay, huge shocker here, but it turns out that Kim Kardashian's wedding to Kris Humphries may have been ... a complete fake! DUN DUN DUN! *Thunder clap* Yeah, I know. Who would have thought that the wedding between the famewhore who does nothing and the random athlete she only knew for a couple months that they filmed and distributed for a total profit of something like $18 Million was all just a scam meant to squeeze money out of the dumbest MORE