Mariah Yeater wanted her Bieber money out of court!

Mariah Yeater

I didn't know you could get a doctorate in tackling famewhores, but apparently Dr. Drew Pinsky has one, because during an appearance on his show this week, Mariah Yeater's lawyer discussed how they originally wanted to squeeze the money out of Justin Bieber out of court, except now they're all heading to court and you can literally hear Mariah shitting herself in the distance. RadarOnline reports: Yeater’s team hoped to settle the case MORE

Brett Ratner quit the Oscars!

Brett Ratner

So a couple weeks ago, director Brett Ratner was pegged as the producer of the Academy Awards, which is weird because I thought they usually only gave jobs like that to people who don't suck at making movies. Anyway, after a week wherein he lied about screwing actress Olivia Munn and then said that rehearsal was for fags, TMZ is saying that Brett decided now might be a good time to duck out and quit before he ends up completely unemployable. MORE

Lindsay Lohan’s vagina will be strategically covered up!

Lindsay Lohan

By now it should be plenty obvious that the only reason Playboy magazine wanted to have Lindsay Lohan as the centerfold in an upcoming issue is because (A) she has no other career to speak of, (B) drug addicts will do anything for money, and (C) vagina. The only reason Playboy wanted LiLo is because she was willing to show everyone, including members of her own family, her vagina aka her firecrotch. So of course, The New York Post is saying that MORE

The Kardashians party without Kim, because she’s still sad!

Kim Kardashian

So apparently, Kim Kardashian is sticking to this whole "stay out of the public eye" (thank heavens) thing because Us Weekly is reporting that during a celebration of Lamar Odom's birthday with all the other famewhores, Kim was the only one who stayed home because apparently she's so very sad about her fake marriage being fake that she can't even be bothered to be happy for the other members of her family. The birthday boy was joined by wife MORE

Dear Justin Bieber: WHAT HAVE YOU WROUGHT?

Justin Bieber

Okay, so I went easy on the last Justin Bieber Christmas song / video, because I like to keep an open mind about these things no matter how many death threats Beliebers send me, so I'm going to try and stay positive for his new video, a clay-mated take on Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. And I mean, it's pretty - Oh. Oh God. What is happenin- THE MAW HAS OPENED. RUN ALL YOU WANT, THE SOUND OF HIS STEPS DRAWS CLOSER. PRAISE THE MAPLE BEAST. NO MORE

Courtney Stodden’s boobs are probably fake!

Courtney Stodden

As I mentioned just yesterday, teen bride Courtney Stodden made an appearance on Dr. Drew Pinsky's new show Lifechangers, because ... ummmmm, underage gold-digging whores will change your life somehow? Anyway, step one in Dr. Drew's ploy for those pedophile viewers was to get an ultrasound of Courtney's big fake underage boobs. Of course, this being a television show where people bend over backwards for attention whores, the fake famewhore doctor MORE

Aaaaaaaaaand here’s Duggar number twenty!

The Duggar Family

After their last kid almost died, which if anything should be an imminently clear sign from God that now might be a good time to stop popping out babies well after it stops being medically and morally feasible to do so, Michelle Duggar was all like "screw that, I need TLC to keep writing me checks so that my kids can become the Christ army" (no, seriously) so here comes baby #20 to make that ecological footprint just a little bit bigger. Via MORE

Lindsay Lohan is back to being a total moron!

Lindsay Lohan and Pitbull

A couple months back, you might remember that Lindsay Lohan heard a celebrity say her name, and proceeded to nearly whiplash herself death to see who still remembered that she hadn't died from a drug overdose. Yet. It turns out, it was Pitbull who was referencing all her jail time in a song, so this being Lindsay, a woman who cleared the space in her brain meant for self-reflection to make room for her dealer's numbers, she decided to sue him. MORE

Dr. Conrad Murray is guilty!

Dr. Conrad Murray

Over two years after Michael Jackson's untimely death, the jury in Conrad Murray's manslaughter case for whether or not he was responsible in the death of Jackson have found him ... GUILTY! Via TMZ: Jurors came back with the verdict moments ago after a grueling 6-week trial, finding prosecutors proved beyond a reasonable doubt ... Dr. Murray is responsible for MJ's death. Murray faces up to 4 years behind bars, but the reality is ... he will MORE

There was a streaker at the MTV EMAs!

Hayden Panettiere and David Monahan

Proving once and for all that Europe just does it better with award shows, the MTV Europe Music Awards were taken by surprise over the weekend when a streaker (actor David Monahan) ran out onstage while Hayden Panettiere was presenting, and everyone was just sorta like "Oh, hey, that guy is naked and onstage on live television. That's cool. Stick a microphone in his face." Huffington Post reports: As Panettiere was addressing the crowd, a MORE

Dr. Drew investigated Courtney Stodden’s boobs!

Courtney Stodden

I'm not sure how much of a draw seventeen-year-old fake boobs are, but someone on Dr. Drew Pinsky's new show must think they're ratings magnets or something because Us Weekly reports that the good famewhoring doctor decided to invite Courtney Stodden and her creepy plastic-pedo husband Doug Hutchison onto the show so that Dr. Drew could touch her big fake child jugs and get an ultrasound of them. You know, just in case you were wondering what was MORE

Lindsay Lohan: In and out of jail in less than five hours

Lindsay Lohan

You have to love how we as a society have gotten to the point where Lindsay Lohan can go to jail and almost no one notices. Probably because she's always going to jail, or being threatened with jail, or avoiding jail by going to rehab and punching nurses in the face. It's always one of those three options. Anyway, Us Weekly reports that our lady of perpetual screwing-up checked herself into jail last night at 8:50 PM, where she dutifully MORE

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are reuniting?

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

Someone over at E! must have realized that a reunion special would bring in way more ratings than a divorce one, especially since Kim Kardashian has for some reason decided that now would be the appropriate time to stop letting cameras capture every boring, uninteresting, unfunny moment of her stupid life. So of course Kim was just shipped off to Minnesota to visit Kris Humphries and the minister who fake married them so that she could try and MORE

Justin Bieber is probably not the father!

Justin Bieber

Remember when the story about Justin Bieber allegedly knocking up some random groupie girl came out and I said it was probably just really bad fan fiction from a girl who was seriously hard-up for a hot dickin'? Well I was right. According to TMZ, Mariah Yeater actually tried the whole "Your my baby's daddy!" gambit on some other poor sap before she tried Bieber, until she realized that she could always find an even bigger hill full of more gold MORE