Matt Stone & Trey Parker: Investigated by Scientology!

Matt Stone and Trey Parker

A couple years back, Matt Stone and Trey Parker put together the Trapped in the Closet episode of South Park, which was a pretty damning but ultimately fair portrayal of Scientology, considering their main argument against it is that the purity of one's soul (or whatever you call it given your chosen religion) shouldn't depend on how much money you're willing to pump into your given church. Except the Scientologists threw a huge shitfit and, as MORE

Everything you know about Lindsay Lohan is true!

Lindsay Lohan

Hey, so guess what? You know I, and pretty much everyone else on the web, have been saying that Lindsay Lohan is totally delusional, irresponsible, vindictive, and completely uninsurable? Well, huge shock here, but it turns out she actually IS delusional, irresponsible, vindictive, and uninsurable, according to a brand new report from the New York Post. Man, I bet everyone totally just crapped their pants! And by "everyone", I mean, like, "no MORE

Tyler Perry presents Kim Kardashian’s acting failure!

Kim Kardashian

Despite the fact that her last attempt at screen acting was in Disaster Movie, a film so shitty everyone who watched it ended up getting hepatitis A, Kim Kardashian somehow managed to land a role in an upcoming Tyler Perry movie, probably because she's a Kardashian and Perry will try just about anything to get asses in seats to see Tyler Perry Presents Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry of Tyler Perry starring Tyler Perry. From the Huffington Post: The MORE

Lindsay Lohan’s cupcake delivery … at the morgue!

Lindsay Lohan

Because Lindsay Lohan thinks the court system works under the logic of an eight-year-old, she decided that the best way to handle her community service at the LA county morgue was by bribing them with cupcakes. No, seriously. Of course, she denies ordering the cupcakes, but let's face it: she's pretty much the only person stupid enough to order three dozen cupcakes as a ploy to make nice with the place where dead people are cut up into pieces. MORE

Rob Kardashian thinks his show teaches you stuff!

Rob Kardashian

So remember how Michelle Obama said that she and her husband, Barack Obama, hate Keeping Up with the Kardashians and don't want their two daughters to watch it because it's a shit show where a bunch of no-talent, uninteresting whores yell at each other? Well, Rob Kardashian was on Ellen because why not have the least-known famewhore on the show, where he talked about how people can actually learn so much from watching his opportunistic family do MORE

Will Kim Kardashian occupy Wall Street?

Kim Kardashian

So Occupy Wall Street has been running strong for something like well over a month now, and despite your personal feelings about how the protesters are getting the message across, you can't deny that the message that every person deserves an equal say in matters of representative politics rather than an Animal Farm-style "rich people are more equal than others" just makes more sense. So who better to talk about this than Kim Kardashian, a MORE

Oh joy, Courtney Stodden is meeting with VH1 now!

Courtney Stodden

Remember when 17-year-old child bride / famewhore Courtney Stodden announced that she was getting her own reality TV show, because apparently publicly having sex with older men when you're a teen opens a lot of doors these days? Well, in case you were wondering who would be dumb enough to stick a child prostitute on television, we finally have our answer: VH1. RadarOnline (of course) reports: “I had so much fun at the meeting with VH1 and I MORE

Dina Lohan is writing a tell-all about Lindsay!

Dina and Lindsay Lohan

Not one to let Michael Lohan have all the fun and money that comes with telling everyone that the daughter he and Dina Lohan ruined is now smoking meth (or crack), Dina has decided that she's going to hop on the bandwagon by writing a tell-all book about how she turned Lindsay Lohan into a decaying black hole of drugs, irresponsibility and entitlement, because if you can't be a good mother, you can be a good opportunist! TMZ reports: TMZ has MORE

New Couple: Scarlett Johansson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt?

Scarlett Johansson and Joseph Gordon-Levitt

It's Thursday, which means that Scarlett Johansson has moved on to a new famous person to screw in order to convince everyone that she's SO over her ex-husband now. Did she mention she's totally over Ryan Reynolds? Because she's bigger than him. I mean, he really can't compare to her NEW man, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Joseph was in Inception. What was Ryan ever in? The Green Lantern? HA! You know, Ryan is going to look back one day and realize what a MORE

Muammar Gaddafi is dead!

Muammar Gaddafi

Hey, remember that Libyan dictator everyone hated? Come on, it was this big thing earlier this year. There were uprisings and shit. There was something about Twitter. Or was it Facebook? Also, no one could spell his name right and he dressed like Liberace serving uniform realness? Yeah, that guy. He's dead now, but no one really cares because Lindsay Lohan is a colossal trainwreck. Time magazine reports: Thousands of Libyans poured on to the MORE

Michael Lohan thinks Lindsay is smoking meth or crack!

Michael Lohan

Can you believe it has been months since famewhore Michael Lohan sold his daughter down the river in order to collect that sweet, sweet tabloid money? Anyway, the star of Celebrity Rehab decided to tell everyone that Lindsay Lohan is probably smoking either meth of crack based on her rotten teeth. Once again, this story was brought to you by the guy who was just on a reality rehab show aka fake rehab. For attention. Cannot make that clear enough. MORE

Lindsay is going to get her life back on track?

Lindsay Lohan

So after yesterday's awesome verbal smackdown by Judge Stephanie Saunter, train wreck Lindsay Lohan is now telling everyone that she's seen the light and will now work as hard as she can in order to get her life back on track and avoid partying, drinking and drugs. But of course, this is a lie because it's a statement involving working and remaining sober and it came out of LiLo's meth mouth. TMZ reports: Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ, she MORE

Shia LaBeouf will cut you!

Shia LaBeouf

Remember a couple days ago, someone opened a can of 100% pure Canadian maple whoop-ass on Shia LaBeouf up in Vancouver because he was being a drunken prick? You know, as opposed to his modus operandi, which is just being a regular prick? You might remember Shea Carter, the guy who helped Shia up and told him to lay low in order to stay out of trouble, guess how Shia thanked him? If you answered "by threatening to murder him with a knife" then MORE

Take a look at Pandora Boxx’s ‘Cooter’!

Pandora Boxx - Cooter

RuPaul's Drag Race devotees will remember season two's Pandora Boxx, aka the bitch that should have won (sorry Tyra Sanchez, but ... PANDORA BOXX. 'Nuff said.) Anyway, she has a new song available on iTunes! Plus she just released the new music video (watch it below) for it a couple days ago. It's all about vaginas if you're into that sort of thing, so check it out now and make sure to buy it! MORE