Confirmed: Jessica Simpson is pregnant!

Jessica Simpson

As we all know, the world stopped spinning yet nothing happened following the massive, ground-breaking news concerning the impending divorce of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries (after just 72 days of wedded bliss), a fate that no one saw coming except for everyone who knew it was a sham wedding. So basically: everyone. Anyway, that's why Jessica Simpson had to wait until this morning to break the news that she was pregnant, even though she MORE

Taylor Swift’s nude photo scandal!

Taylor Swift

Did you know things happened today that didn't involve celebrities dressed as other people or Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries divorcing because Kim is a rampant fame-addict who would do anyone or anything ... actually, just anyone. Yeah, let's stick with that. Anyway, there was also some sort of kerfuffle over Taylor Swift's boobies today, after gossip blog Celeb Jihad posted what looked like but are in no way actually pictures of Taylor MORE

The celebrity Halloween costume round-up!

Kim Kardashian as Poison Ivy

I have two options here: I can either inundate you all with post after post of celebrities dressed up as specialty themed sluts, as opposed to their normal slut-garb, or I can condense them all into one major super post so that you can get all your celebrity dress-up fun in one easy to swallow single-serving post. See how much easier that is? Let's get started: Kim Kardashian dressed up as Batman's Poison Ivy, because much like actual MORE

Lindsay Lohan is ready to face the judge!

Lindsay Lohan

Oh my gosh, it finally might be happening: Lindsay Lohan may finally, really, ACTUALLY be going to jail. It turns out that Lindsay is "serious" about her probation now (we'll see how long that lasts) and she reportedly will concede she violated her probation and just get her punishment out of the way. Except hold on a second, last time Judge Stephanie Saunter said that if she ruled that Lindsay did violate her probation, she'd be going to jail. MORE

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are divorcing!

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

Hey, remember all those times I joked about how it was only a matter of time before we were all watching Kim's Fairytale Divorce because Kim Kardashian faked love and sold out her marriage for attention and money because she is literally the most terrible human being in pop culture? Well HA! I was right. Only 72 days after she got fake-married-for-the-publicity, she and Kris Humphries are divorcing and citing irreconcilable differences, which I'm MORE

Heidi Montag is writing an autobiography!

Heidi Montag

A couple years ago, Heidi Montag wrote a book with Spencer Pratt, which was about as well-received as a letter full of anthrax. Of course, Heidi Montag hasn't learned anything from that, because she's decided that she's going to dig herself out of the bottomless grave of debt she put herself in by writing an autobiography. I hope she knows that being able to spell out her own name on the "fridgerator" using letter magnets does not constitute MORE

Courtney Stodden’s Halloween jailbait costume!

It's Halloween today, which means that it is your duty to take a normal, every day costume and make it sluttier. Which isn't that hard because when it comes to couture, "sluttier" is synonymous with "a couple inches shorter with a deeper neckline". Ta-da! Costume solved. Anyway, Courtney Stodden I guess decided to dress as a slutty version of herself, because she doesn't know what the word "redundant" means. Oh, and Doug Hutchison did the same MORE

Guess which pumpkin slut Patton Oswalt ran into?

Patton Oswalt/Pheobe Price

Super fun pop quiz time! If you've been on the Internet in the past few hours you've probably heard this one, but for those who haven't, here's your quiz: Patton Oswalt went to a pumpkin patch recently with his family, and a certain skanky famewhore was there posing for the paparazzi she paid to tag along with her because that's the only reason people care about her. Patton tweeted the whole thing and completely destroyed her, because that's just MORE

Melissa McCarthy channels Divine!

Melissa McCarthy as Divine

You know what happens when you take funny lady Melissa McCarthy, dress her up as legendary drag queen and director John Waters' cinematic muse Divine, then get her into a photoshoot with Pandora Boxx and Mimi Imfurst? Magic. Magic happens. And that's what Entertainment Weekly decided to do with their upcoming comedy issue, because SURPRISE! There is a God. Bridesmaids, Mike & Molly, and a winning SNL gig have turned Melissa McCarthy MORE

PETA is still upset over Gaga’s meat dress!

Lady Gaga's Meat Dress

Hey, you know that meat dress Lady Gaga wore once? Like, a year ago? Well, PETA must have nothing better to do and all the good little animals must be safe because they're back to their famewhoring ways again, demanding that Gaga make a dress made of lettuce because that's how "art" works: Basically, you just say what you want, the artist makes it and then you all pretend there's a message in this aside from "people are morons." RadarOnline MORE

Courtney Stodden competed in Miss Washington Teen ’10

Courtney Stodden

It's hilarious to see all these new items pop up about Courtney Stodden's past, all touting the long-ago time when Courtney was but a comely lass of 15, and then you realize that oh yeah, THAT WAS LAST YEAR. Anyway, here she is competing in the Miss Washington Teen 2010 pageant (Donald Trump needs to start his hoes off young, ya hurrrrrrd?) while RadarOnline refers to her fifteen-year-old body as sexy because ... wait, WHAT?! Just one year MORE

Usher shouldn’t park in a handicapped spots!

Usher

I think we can all agree that people who park in a handicapped spot, despite being completely abled, are total douchebags. I mean yes, super, we get it: you're important and you're running late and you're only stopping by for a quick little visit. Boo hoo, park in a regular spot and walk the extra few feet to the door. Anyway, Usher decided to try this in Atlanta and last night and was set upon by a middle-aged woman who did not take kindly to no MORE

Everyone on DWTS hates Kim Kardashian!

Kim and Rob Kardashian

Quick! What does Rob Kardashian do? HA! Trick question. He does absolutely nothing. He's got a famous last name and that's the only reason you're aware he exists. Except he's on Dancing with the Stars for some reason, probably because they needed to nepotism someone in there to fill the quota. See how that works? Anyway, in a bid to save her brother, Kim Kardashian cheated her fans into voting him onto the show by saying that the phone number to MORE

Say hello to the old Courtney Stodden!

Courtney Stodden

Ever since she first inexplicably shot to fame by marrying a fifty-one-year-old character actor, Courtney Stodden has been vocally defending her realness. Oh, I'm sorry, her "rillness". As in, her "rill" hair, her "rill" lips, her "rill" unmoving forehead, and her "rill" beachball-sized boobs. You know, because all seventeen-year-old girls rilly look like third-degree burnt showgirls. Anyway, turns out that there are actually a shitload of MORE