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Ashton Kutcher to replace Charlie Sheen on ‘Two and a Half Men’!

Ashton Kutcher to replace Charlie Sheen on ‘Two and a Half Men’!
May 13, 2011 JEREMY FEIST
Ashton Kutcher

Because apparently, Chuck Lorre doesn’t realize that when your show’s star leaves amidst a giant clusterfuck of cocaine, dead hookers and petty, impotent, self-important rage, that’s God’s way of telling you that your show sucks and it needs to be off the air, not only is Two and a Half Men still not canceled, but they’ve decided the best way to revitalize the show is by having it center around a character played by (I shit you not) Ashton Kutcher.

The former That 70’s Show and Punk’d star has agreed to join Two and a Half Men […] The Hollywood Reporter relays. He’s putting the final touches on his contract, which will offer him a “huge payday,” according to THR. Rumors around Kutcher’s casting began to swirl earlier on Thursday. He most recently starred in the romantic comedy film No Strings Attached. A little after 9 pm, Kutcher simply tweeted: (-; SOURCE

Ashton Kutcher? On Two and a Half Men? My God, it’s the biggest story of 2003!  Excuse me while I go tell everyone on Myspace about this! But first, I have to go listen to Evanescence, Chingy and Limp Bizkit on my giant, brick-sized iPod while I play Gamecube. Man, I’m sure all those things will become timeless classics, sure to withstand the test of time …

Ashton Kutcher