I honestly couldn’t tell you how long it’s been since Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz split, mostly because I regularly forget that they’re both still alive plus I hate them. Like shit, am I going to be following these two around to make sure their genitals aren’t high-fiving each other’s. Well, if I had I would probably be having a field day right now because according to Us Weekly, Ashlee is reportedly drunk dialing Pete into all hours of the night hard up for his peen. Why she’s calling him for it, however, is beyond me.
A source tells the new Us Weekly that Jessica Simpson’s kid sister recently placed an inebriated call to Wentz, with whom she has a 2-year-old son, Bronx. “Ashlee was telling Pete how much she misses him and wants him back,” says the source; a rep for Simpson denies the call ever took place. And although Simpson is dating Boardwalk Empire‘s Vincent Piazza, a friend of Wentz tells Us that Simpson is so desperate to win him back, she even asked his sister for help — with no luck. “He will never go back to her,” the pal says. “He’s in a good place.”
You know what? Yes, I will believe this. I mean really, Jessica Simpson had a full-on freak out when her old cock got hitched to someone else to the point where she put together her own shotgun engagement, so the idea that Ashlee would try and seduce her old piece with promises of pussy and shared-mascara really don’t seem all that surprising when you consider the fact they both swam out of the same ballsack.