Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz are splitting!

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz

Remember Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz? Ashlee was the hotter, less talented Simpson sister singer and Pete Wentz was the douchebag guitarist of one of those annoying-ass emo bands. Anyway, they’re getting divorced just in time for Valentine’s Day, because what better time to split up than a day that celebrates the fantasy of romance while ignoring the bitter truth that monogamy never ends well?

The couple just released a joint statement, saying, “After careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to file for divorce. We remain friends and deeply committed and loving parents to our son Bronx, whose happiness and well-being remains our number one priority. We ask that everyone honor our privacy as we navigate this next phase of our lives.” SOURCE

Once again, I’d like to point this out as a nice little example as to why Valentine’s day is bullshit. That person you’re giving flowers too? You’ll learn to hate him/her in about a year. Also, who’s willing to bet that Jessica Simpson is standing outside of Ashlee’s house with a megaphone screaming “ONE OF US! ONE OF US!” in between spoonfuls of marshmallow fluff.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz

About JEREMY FEIST 5002 Articles
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.