Arnold Schwarzenegger had a secret out-of-wedlock baby!

Were you wondering why Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver split up despite being together for 25 years? I mean, aside from the fact that Arnold is responsible for more groped secretary ass than the entire cast of Mad Men combined. Anyway, it turns out that he not only cheated on his wife ten years ago, but HOLY CRAP, it lead to a baby out of wedlock that he’s been hiding from her for the past ten years. Sooooooo … what do you get your wife for that fuck up? A Hallmark card? A new house?

He admitted that he fathered the child more than a decade ago with an unidentified woman who worked for his family, and apologized. “After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago,” Schwarzenegger said Monday night in a statement issued to the Los Angeles Times. “I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry.

“I ask that the media respect my wife and children through this extremely difficult time,” the statement concluded. “While I deserve your attention and criticism, my family does not.” SOURCE

Ummmm … yeah, no one’s really going after your family. Mostly because your family wasn’t the one that stuck your penis into one of your employees, created a baby, then hid it from your wife for ten years. Alllllll you, Ahnold. Remember people: You probably shouldn’t sleep with someone if you already made a life-long commitment to only sleep with one person for the rest of your life, but if you must, you might want to wear a condom or something so you don’t accidentally end up creating a new secret family on the side.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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