Elisabetta Canalis got booted from ‘Dancing with the Stars’

Good news everyone! Chaz Bono is still on Dancing with the Stars! And even better news: Elisabetta Canalis, who you might know from being Clooney’s former piece and absolutely nothing else, finally got kicked off the show for being a terrible dancer. You know you suck at dancing when Nancy Grace can show her nipple and still come off as more watchable than you. The Huffington Post reports:

The Italian actress who romanced George Clooney has done her last dance on Dancing With the Stars. Elisabetta Canalis was dismissed from the show Tuesday, despite her third-place finish on Monday’s episode. She and her professional partner earned 21 points out of 30 for their quickstep routine – a six point improvement over their debut dance. But fans failed to keep her in the competition.

Okay, so admittedly she did much better than she did last week, but still, I just find her annoying, her first dance was awful, and the only thing she’s ever really done to be relevant was bang George Clooney, an honor she shares with pretty much every single human being that has, or had, a vagina. Honestly, I’d be willing to bet money he tried to bang Chaz before he had his corrective surgery. “Oh come on, just consider it your bergina’s last hurrah. Still like girls, huh? All right, fine, I’ll see if Buck Angel is free …”

Elisabetta Canalis

First Look: RHOA Season 4!

OMG! I’m beyond excited about the upcoming return of Bravo‘s hit franchise The Real Housewives of Atlanta on November 6th! Watch a sneak peek of the dramatic and tension-filled fourth season below!

Bravo’s water cooler sensation, The Real Housewives of Atlanta returns Sunday, November 6 at 10 p.m. ET/PT. In a season about taking chances, the hottest Housewives in the South are embarking on new ventures and returning to their roots. Kandi, Phaedra and Cynthia are exploring their entrepreneurial prowess. Though their dreams vary drastically – sex toys, funeral homes and a modeling school – each woman has jumped into their chosen endeavor with a signature boldness and innate sense of humor that defines these Atlanta ladies.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta:

NeNe Leakes – This season, NeNe and Gregg have officially separated. Though Gregg no longer lives with NeNe and the boys, they have a complex relationship. NeNe struggles with her decision on whether or not to sign the divorce papers and truly move on from their 15-year relationship. Since her experience on Celebrity Apprentice, NeNe has realized she has a knack for business and uses one of her Trump connections to pursue an entrepreneurial endeavor.

Kim Zolciak – As her psychic predicted, Kim’s life has changed dramatically for the better. Kroy adores Kim, her daughters and is a loving father to baby KJ. Though they have established a new life together, Kroy has to return to the NFL, leaving Kim to get their new house in order and tend to three children. To add to her juggling act, Kim is pursuing a country music career without the help of Kandi.

Sheree Whitfield – Sheree has recently moved out of her home and is building a fabulous new house for her family in the same upscale neighborhood. Frustrated with her ex-husband for not paying the 4 years of child support he owes, Sheree takes action against him with legal help from her friend and fellow Housewife, lawyer Phaedra Parks.

Kandi Burruss – After a year spent recording and touring to support her solo album, Kandi has shifted her focus to a new endeavor: an intimate luxury line. She’s also switching gears with music and focusing on writing country hits for a popular artist.. While she has yet to find Mr. Right, Kandi is spending more time than ever with Mama Joyce. Ever the mediator, she remains close with the other Housewives.

Phaedra Parks – With baby Ayden growing up so quickly, Phaedra is realizing her parenting style is different than expected. Once a firm believer in “spanking” a child, she has become a doting mom who tends to annoy Apollo by babying their son. Phaedra continues to work hard at the law firm and has begun her next business venture: a family-run funeral home. Her only hurdle before becoming a certified mortician: convincing Apollo of the benefits of this new undertaking.

Cynthia Bailey – At 44 years old, Cynthia is still a working model and is using her decades of experience to help the next generation. By opening The Bailey Agency School of Fashion, Cynthia seeks to teach Atlanta’s most promising girls about the industry. Her marriage to Peter is barely one-year along, but the shadow of the marriage-certificate wedding debacle still hangs over the Bailey-Thomas household. Cynthia’s sister Malorie and Peter still haven’t addressed her attempted wedding sabotage and Cynthia finds herself in an uncomfortable position between her husband and her sister.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta - Season 4

#RHOBH: Live tweeting!

Please join us live tonight at 6PST/9EST for commentary on the season premiere of Bravo‘s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. You can easily join the discussion below, thanks to G-Snap!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Revealed: The new ‘Dancing With The Stars’ cast!

You know the drill: 12 D-list stars enter but only 1 D-list star leaves with their dignity still intact. Below, I’ve posted the list of celebrities competing on the show, via Huffington Post, as well as the token slots they’ll be filling, because every Dancing With The Stars season follows the same basic casting template:

Ricki Lake – Lovable Formerly-Fat Girl
Ron Artest – The Athlete
Kristin Cavallari – Reality Star/Whore
Chynna Phillips – Singer Your Mom Loves
David Arquette – Insane Has-Been/Celebrity Divorcée
Carson Kressley – Blonde Gay
Nancy Grace – Old, Contemptible Shrew
J.R. Martinez – The Heartwarming Old Guy
Hope Solo – Sexy Female Athlete No Ane Actually Knows
Rob Kardashian – Famewhore Kardashian
Elisabetta Canalis – Sexy Female Something No Ane Actually Knows
Chaz Bono – Face of a Major Group (i.e., Transfolk)

I’m just going to go ahead and call it now: Ricki Lake is going to take it. That’s my guess anyway. First out I’m guessing will be Nancy Grace because she’s old, bitchy, and moves like a marionette being operated by a raging alcoholic. And David Arquette will be the first to wipe out because he’s a hilarious dumbass. The rest will probably do whatever the fuck they do, although personally, I’m rooting for Chaz Bono. Love that guy.

Dancing With The Stars Season 13 Cast

TLC – Kate + 8

Thank you, America. You finally figured out that having more babies than you can possibly afford to care for is not a legitimate skill and that we shouldn’t make people celebrities because they contributed to overpopulation. Case in point: TLC finally took a pillow and suffered the insufferable; that waste of a show known as Kate + 8 has now been subtracted – which is why you should never name your show using mathematical formulae. Especially when its stars can’t even count. Anyway, this is what Kate Gosselin had to say on her Twitter account.

“We’ve had a great run! Six years of whirlwind funfilled adventures thanks to TLC and our many many supportive &diehard fans! While it is very sad for me and the kids (there were many tears at the breakfast table this morning!), we are looking forward with great anticipation to our bright future! As is very typical for me, I am choosing to see the positive in this situation and I am excited to consider the many more invigorating opportunities that may come my way! I poured my entire self in2 last 6 yrs of ‘Kate+8′ & I can’t wait2have the chance2challenge myself again w future endeavors! In the meanX,I hope 2have more time4motivational speaking, book writing &other fun work opportunities that come my way… And maybe even some dating??!! We wish our fans well. And remember, this is not ‘goodbye’.I prefer to say ‘See you around!’ Xoxo” SOURCE

Yes, I’m sure the kids were the ones crying over breakfast about how TLC now has more time for shows about little people who bake cupcakes. I mean, they were just in it for the fame and the money. Anyway, it’s good to see that they’re slowly starting to get rid of all these fucking pregnancy shows about people who think kids and TV deals will fill the void in their heart that alcohol could never quite satisfy. Now just get rid of Teen Mom and I’ll be a-okay. By which I mean literally banish the Teen Moms to fucking Antarctica and put their kids in good homes and we’ll call it even.

Kate Gosselin & Co.

Trailer: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills / Season Two

I seriously cannot wait for September 5th, that’s when the second season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres on Bravo, hands down one of the best channels on television! Even though Beverly Hills is the newest from the Housewife franchise, it’s one of my favorites (along with Orange County, Atlanta and New York City)! All of the cast members from last season are back (even Camille Grammer and messy Kim Richards), plus they’re adding in two new friends, Brandi Glanville (aka Eddie Cibrian‘s ex-wife) and party planner Dana Wilkey, but they aren’t considered cast members. Watch the just released trailer below, this season looks insanely juicy with lots of fights, meltdowns and high drama!

The critically acclaimed series, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, returns for a second season of glitz, glamor, and high drama. All six original over-the-top housewives are back including: Taylor Armstrong, Camille Grammer, Adrienne Maloof, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, and Lisa Vanderpump. Though not official “housewives,” this season the ladies are joined by two new friends: Brandi Glanville and Dana Wilkey, who certainly know how to spice things up in the world’s most famous zip code.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season Two

Derrrrr, the ‘Jersey Shore’ (S4) trailer is out!

So the fourth season of Jersey Shore is coming soon, and they’ve released the trailer and … and … oh God, I think it’s actually making me dumber (if that’s possible). Anyway, it features Snooki taking her car and making the crashey crashey into the police, and they got angry and made the cars go “WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO!” and she went to the bad guy time-out place, and then the big one hit the situation on the face and the whores threw the glasses and drank mommy’s special no-cry juice and everyone loved everyone and it was the best summer ever herppy derpy derrrrrrrrr.

Jersey Shore

First Look: The X Factor!

OMG! I’m seriously looking forward to The X Factor making its way to the states this coming September, especially after the beyond lackluster tenth season of American Idol. The very thought of Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul sitting together making TV magic once again behind the judges’ table makes me completely giddy. They’ll be joined by fellow judges Nicole Scherzinger (it should have been Cheryl Cole, but I’m letting it go at this point) and L.A. Reid when the show premieres on FOX on Wednesday, September 21st at 8pm! Below is a brand new teaser video just released earlier this evening, at first I was like WTF is going on but then it all became crystal clear, Simon is finally back, just the way we like him!

The X Factor - L.A. Reid, Nicole Scherzinger, Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell

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