popbytes {when culture pops, i wipe it up...}

oh kids! all good things must come to an end! read below for the 3rd season wrap-up of the apprentice - congrats to kendra - and huge gigantic thanks to my gal/pal dana - who has wrapped up this show for the past 13 weeks! and now she is off to greece to relax! but don't fret dana will return - thanks again d! you rock & roll! mk xxoo

and then there was one. in what seemed to be a fairly lackluster live episode of the apprentice last night, mr. trump chose his next apprentice - and i have to say, it's great knowing that finally, he's working with a woman!

we already knew that this season's finale was only going to be an hour long (unlike last season's song and dance that dragged on for an unbelievable amount of time). we got to see this season's applicants, all tucked away like two very odd juries. again, it was a fairly uneventful evening (although, danny - fabulous suit!)

so, much like a lot of us already assumed, last week's final challenge was a foreshadowing of what was about to happen in the final boardroom. overall, everyone claimed it was such a tough decision to choose between tana (what was up with her hair?) and kendra. both were so strong and yet both had their issues as well.

but, in the long run, kendra was made the apprentice. so congrats to a strong woman in business - don't make the rest of us look bad by giving us a bad name.

so, as a final wrap up, i wanted to point out some of the more bizarre, more entertaining moments from last night's episode:

a) tana's hair. what the hell was she thinking? she did know she was on live TV, right? she looked as though she had been out in the rain wearing one of those disposable, plastic rain hoods that my great grandmother in brooklyn would wear. it was like a matted wet dog on her head.

b) kristen's blondeness. whoa. who was the hairdresser that looked kristen straight in the eye and said, "oh my god, your dark eyes, dark eyebrows and mildly olive complexion could totally pull off blonde"?

c) tana's outburst. okay, so we all learned last night that tana was the innovator of the round shape of the pontiac solstice brochure...but was it just me, or was she completely not herself. i mean, i understand that a live audience can certainly give someone the jitters, especially when your next major life change is sitting on the line. but, i swear it was like watching farrah fawcett on letterman all over again. girl, get it together!

d) kelly's commerical. so, it should have come as no surprise that we would see the last seasons' apprentices. bill, always looking professional and mildly cocky was there as well as kelly. i can't stand him. maybe it's my complete loathing of the military since i can't stand bush and the republicans...and it's just a political issue for me. but, did anyone catch the military commercial they ran during the show? nothing like seeing someone like kelly who's been out of the service for some time now, lugging his gut and fat ass around hard-core military training. and of course, mr. trump had to be a part of it. just in case anyone missed it, the correlation we were supposed to make is that if you're in the military, you'll be made smart and savvy - ready for business in the big city with mr. trump.

e) the choices for apprenticeship projects. okay, so let's review some of the options given to the likes of bill and kelly: manage a new building in chicago, manage my holdings in new york, manage a brand new golf course, etc. etc. etc. so now that we have two women up for the apprentice, can you give them anything that would suggest their weakness as players in the business world more. so, "ladies" you get to pick from the miss fuckin' america pageant or this mansion i'm building in palm springs?! give me a break. and who is this "mansion" for? notice how that was never mentioned? wouldn't it be funny if kendra was managing a property for mr. trump's own personal interests?

so, kids. thanks for sticking with me for 13 weeks of fun, tears and tobacco chewing. soon we'll have another set of applicants vying to do what it takes to work for the trumpster...and, we'll also have some working for ms. stewart. see you soon - now i'm off to greece! ooh-pa! xxoo dana!

hey kids - tgif - and next week is the season finale! im still rooting for tana - but i think kendra may take it in the end - we shall see - enjoy dana's column below - and check out her email from ex-apprentice danny! i love that he came to check out popbytes! i'm so outtie for now!

although last night's episode of the apprentice did not include a firing, the excitement was still high as we watched tana and kendra compete in their final missions before one is selected as mr. trump's apprentice.

i really had all my money on tana...but i was blown away by kendra. she managed her team gracefully, she kept her vendors and sponsors happy and she pulled off an amazing event. i wish i could say the same about miss tana.

it was obvious that the stress of her team members and the event as a whole was getting to her. i mean, she actually showed no concern that she was keeping the mayor waiting - she offered him a doughnut! her attitude and bashing of people like chris completely made herself look unprofessional and appear as though she has trouble focusing and managing large-scale projects.

so, when it came down to it, kendra and tana were both back in the boardroom...attacking each other with more class and dignity than we've seen anyone before. at the very end of last night's episode, mr. trump invited the teams back into the boardroom while the managers sat outside. unfortunately, we'll have to wait until next week's season finale to see what danny, erin, michael, chris, brian and kristen have to say about tana and kendra.

but in the meantime, you don't have to wait to hear from danny! i received an e-mail and photo from him yesterday...he's been checking out popbytes!!!

Hey,
I finally checked out popbytes Apprentice stuff.
Very cool.
You certainly are a great writer and are into the whole thing!!
Sorry it took me so long to respond.
Rock on.

Danny kastner

hey kids! here be dana's latest musing on the apprentice it's just the final two now! two women! a woman shall claim apprentice victory at last! you go tana!

so, the commercials didn't lie. in the first 15 minutes, mr. trump brought the final three down to the final two. four various high-profile CEOs interviewed each of the final three candidates; craig, kendra and tana. overwhelmingly, each CEO felt that craig lacked any "substance" and so mr. trump's decision was made quite easy - this year's apprentice will DEFINITELY be a woman! it's about freakin' time!

so, we learn that the final challenges for both apprentices-to-be include kendra's best buy video gaming event and tana's event at chelsea piers to help convince the olympic committee to bring the 2012 olympics to new york city.

ah...but you knew they're be a clincher...mr. trump hired three "employees" for each project manager. and you knew that they'd be previous contestants that had been fired. but he definitely picked the bottom of the barrel. working with kendra are the scatter-brained danny, michael and erin. tana has the most volatile people from her original street smarts team including chris, brian and kristen.

next week's episode should be killer. i mean, last night we witnessed danny totally screw up the first impression the team had with EA Sports. did you hear him start with a homemade jingle?!

so, stay tuned. feel free to e-mail us with who you think will take home the prize of being donald trump's apprentice. i'm rooting for tana - but i'm realizing that kendra has an excellent shot as well. who will crack under pressure?

hey boys & girls! here is dana's latest musing on the apprentice - thanks to her as always! the final three now! you go tana!

i swear to god, i was on the edge of my seat last night. last night's apprentice started with the remaining four players meeting up at trump's flashy towers. because alex was the last remaining player on net worth, he was asked to select a magna player to join him. although it would have been cool to see a head-on competition between street smarts and book smarts, he picked tana. this was a super-strategic move because craig and kendra are explosive together. the task: design a commemorative t-shirt for hane's 50th anniversary...each team worked with a pop artist.

however, kudos need to go to kendra and craig. their brilliant marketing idea of targeting their artist's fans, was brilliant...just brilliant.

but here's where the sweat came into play...

a team net worth lost. oh no! alex brought tana down.

b tana...you need to stop obsessing over the bedazzler. i always thought old ladies that lived in their house with 37 cats owned the bedazzler, but...tana...staten island? that place is a freakin' land fill.

c for a moment, it was so obvious that trump was going to fire tana in the boardroom...

but thank god tana stepped up and reminded trump of her wins and alex's loses. so, we bid you farewell, alex. another lawyer bites the dust. thank goodness. so we're down to three: tana, craig and kendra. this should be an interesting race. tana needs to step up her game if she wants to win. hopefully last night's boardroom gave her the fire under her ass that she needed to remind herself that she can't get too comfortable in this game. sweat the small stuff, and you'll never win.

hey kids! oh i so needed friday! here are dana's latest musings on the apprentice - thanks to her as always for her sassy column! it's getting down to the wire! the final four! go tana!

for anyone that caught last night's apprentice show...you may have seen a few mistakes. rather than discuss the show as a whole, and give a synopsis, etc., etc. i thought i would run through the major mistakes of the evening:

1 Alex decides to forgo from meeting with the executives from Staples. What kind of a freakin' moron doesn't try to warm up the judges, get inside their heads, ask them what they want to see? Gee, Alex...you're so freakin' brilliant.

2 Alex thinks Bren should conduct only 2 focus groups. This one cracked me up. First off, a focus group needs to be a group - duh! Not two people that Bren finds through the yellow pages. Did you really think office managers you cold called at work would take the time to answer your lame-ass questions? Um, Alex - here's an idea...go to an office supply store...let's say STAPLES, and ask people you find there (which would most likely consist of working people, during the day) to see what they'd like to see...or at least to find out why their desks are always unorganized.

3 Alex's brilliant idea of a huge piece of equipment to solve the office clutter problem. I swear, Alex was so in love with his design...I'm surprised we didn't see him hump that piece of shit plexi-glass cover. I work in an office (but it's super cool) and I know that the last thing I need to help me unclutter is another desk that I can...clutter. Duh! I mean, the design had so many things wrong with it. Nothing pulled out, the "fabulous" baskets could only be accessed if you remove the hokey plexi-glass cover. Not genius.

4 Alex looking Mr. Trump, George and Caroline in the boardroom and swearing to them that their desk-o-shit was the best design ever. Come on. What did you think they would say? "Oh Alex, those executives and managers at Staples are fuckin' morons. Your piece-o-shit desk is so great for keeping clutter at bay. In fact, we're going to bring team Magna in and fire one of them." Please. You made so many mistakes.

5 Bren admitting to Mr. Trump that he's not good at taking risks. Bren, what do you think business is all about? You need to take risks if you want to go places. That's what business is. Now law, on the other hand, is guided by a written set of rules that you must abide by, so I can see where the two are different. But if you were hoping to get to the final two, you just screwed yourself.

and so, based on one mistake (compared to the myriad of mistakes made by alex), bren was let go by mr. trump last night. bren was a cool guy...a southern gentleman with a saucy side. i have to admit, it was sweet to hear him in his taxi cab drive away from trump towers. he obviously loves his wife, his kids and the south...and being away from all of them reminded him how much he missed it. good luck in life, bren. from all of us here at popbytes.

side note craig and kendra...the drama never stops. i'll be curious to see what happens next week when we're down to four. will trump have the two of them work together? although i'm not her biggest fan, craig has been incredibly condescending to her and the "little girl" comment last night was completely uncalled for. stay tuned!

hey kids! its getting down to the final five! read on below for dana's latest take on the apprentice! i agree with her chris has a heart - and i got weepy too! popbytes out on a friday!

so, middway through last night's episode...i was ready to come into work and write my article, completely slamming chris for not being strong enough with alex when he saw that alex didn't get the right shots of the car during the photo shoot. or for not putting a stop on bren's copy - which was incredibly stale. or...better yet, when chris said in one of his little "interviews" that he never fails (remember your little arrest on sunday, sweetie?!).

but then...in a huge shocker, when chris was fired by mr. trump...his eyes welled up, his chin began to quiver and he started to cry. this wasn't the kind of whiney cry, or a sissy-girl cry. this was a full-on cry of pent up emotion...of disappointment...of being overwhelmed.

and to make matters worse...it made me cry! so, rather than giving my standard cutting comments and criticism today. i'd like to let everyone take a moment of silence to remember the drama, the entertainment and the all-on anger that we won't get to experience anymore now that chris is no longer in the running to be mr. trump's apprentice.

now, i'm not saying that he was a star player, or even that he had all his marbles. but after last night's display of emotion, it's obvious that chris has his own personal demons and issues that he needs to get through and i wish him nothing but luck in that regard.

so, we're down to alex, bren, craig, kendra and tana. i'm still feeling a win for tana. but alex, who was a strong player in earlier episodes, has showed some laziness and inadequacies. i mean, last night he was so ho-hum when he realized he didn't catch any of the shots that chris and bren discussed with him before they left him at the photo studio...bren, i think he's a little southern spitfire and i'll be interested to see how far he'll get. who knows, he could be in the final two.

i'm concerned for craig and kendra because the two don't get along - at all. so one is bound to be fired in an upcoming episode. i guess we'll all have to watch and see. 18 have been whittled down to 5 - this is when things get good! - xxoo dana

hey kids! TGIF! its getting down to the final six! next week looks crazy! read on below for dana's latest take on the apprentice! popbytes out for now!

what a twist. last night's episode of the apprentice really threw me for a loop...

so both teams get the opportunity to design clothing for american eagle outfitters that allow teens to have easy access to popular technology. team magna, led by tana (love her!) started off on the right foot by conducting "scientific research" in the store, asking teenagers which devices are most important to them...

team net worth, on the other hand, started by running over the best buy where they purchased a laptop, cell phones, video games and an iPod. chris, however, made the first mistake of the evening...he lost/left his credit card at best buy. the time wasted in finding the card again...we'll, i'm not 100% sure if this had anything to do with the team's failure.

to make a one-hour episode short (ala Cliff Notes), it came as no shock that net worth lost due to angie's spazz-out at the presentation and alex's inability to get the team to the presentation on time.

in the boardroom, i was amazed how chris really was coming out unscathed. the man lost the money, he's crazy and...i'm just waiting for his loose cannon to erupt again. but i do need to give him props for appearing to try to make a change in his life. he has seemed to give up his bad "chew" habit.

anyway, based on her performance, angie was fired. i loved that girl...she was spunky, maternal, and an all around strength for her team.

next week's episode should be awesome. it appears that whoever gets fired causes some sort of drama outside of the conference room.

predictions:
tana - she'll definitely take this one all the way!

hey kids! gosh it's april! and tomorrow night we have to put our clocks forward - and we lose one hour of sleep this weekend! the horror! read on below for the latest update on last night's apprentice!

yet another great episode of the apprentice. in last night's task, both teams needed to work with domino's pizza to create two new pizza recipes and sell their pizzas out of 'mobile shops'.

after trump introduced the challenge by adding that he loves meatballs on his pizza, it was no shock that the brown-nosing team members would each create their own rendition of a meatball pizza. unfortunately, this meant that at times, the episode did get a little boring...their pizzas were basically the same. so, the challenge became more about marketing, selling and your standard amount of team drama.

team net worth, now with alex on their side, started off with a rocky start because project manager, stephanie was sent to deliver a few pizzas to a construction site in brooklyn. who knew delivery traveled on the subway?! i have to say, i really do love angie. she adds a maternal and calming element to her team. but let's not forget...that team includes loose-cannon, chris. apparently there was an altercation between him and alex (could he be a little stressed without his chewing tobacco?).

so, into the boardroom go both teams...to only find out that magna won by a few hundred dollars (and a lot less drama). stephanie, as project manager, decides to give angie immunity and brings alex and chris to the boardroom.

just when i thought chris was a goner...stephanie is fired due to poor management skills.

chris - your time is numbered...if his team loses next week, there's no doubt that he'll be out.

if anyone has been watching, yahoo has a great apprentice fantasy game. my vote is for tana to take it all...that girl has spunk!

hey kiddies - it's friday - and you know what that means - dana on the apprentice - last night was a bit of a recap...i will be around this weekend - so expect some new posts...popbytes out for now!

ah. so, if you're like me, you felt that last night's episode of the apprentice was a huge let down. although we were all expecting really great behind the scenes shots and things that didn't make it to TV, i felt that most of what we saw was the same exact footage we've been seeing for the last few weeks.

although, i will admit...after seeing the chris/angie encounter, i'm definitely thinking chris's days are numbered because he's a loose cannon. he's only 21, remember, and he's got a temper that could kill a horse. and to apply things i'm seeing in my own work environment...there's a level of maturity you learn in the work environment that at 21 - you're simply not there yet. enough said.

what else? i feel like there's not much to say, it was a waste of an episode...but i'm now thinking that erin (although she annoys me) has a great shot at getting into the final 2 because she's pretty, and we all know that trump loves the ladies, and she's not too moronic. these next few episodes will definitely let us see how she thinks on her feet. i wonder when she'll be a project manager next...

anyways, i wish i could write more...but there really wasn't much to write about. so, it's time for shameless self-promotion. summer's just around the corner and you want to make sure you and your feet are stylin'. check out poshflops.com - e-mail us about our shoes and mention you heard about us on popbytes, and get a 15% discount on the price of our shoes!

have a great weekend...and i'll see you next week when the apprentice comes back with more drama, more excitement, and more pompous assholes!

hey kids - just when we were about to write trump off - the show got good - at least for last night! and my good pal dana agrees...read her latest musings below!

DRAMA!� well, it may be mostly internal...but last night's episode was freakishly good.� the trumpster starts us off by intermingling the teams so that net worth now has college grads on the team and magna has some high school grads.� and then the task is unveiled...negotiate with artists for an 11 minute online auction for fuse networks (a second rate mtv).

how cool was it to see lil kim (what has she done to her face?!) and moby?!� this may have been the best episode yet.� hats off to team magna...tana, you rock!� if no one caught last night's episode then you missed a few very entertaining things:

• various definitions of "MILF"
• tana adopting street slang and speaking with the likes of some of this year's top rap acts
• john being a sexist, self involved pig

i don't even know where to begin.� john, i no longer want you on my apprentice all-stars team.� the way you treat and look at women offends me personally.� can you believe how he interrupted erin and stephanie everytime they met with an artist?� and gene simmons (who is the dirtiest, pervertiest person in the world), they should have let the women own that one...but instead, there goes john with his "3 minute tidbit" of personal information hoping to connect with the artist.� what a freakin' douche bag.

i had to spit out my drink when i saw john leave the hotel dressed "cool" with a metal chain hanging from his jeans...ooh, i'm a drummer...ooh, maybe i can play your drums...ooh, maybe my ass is grass tonight in the boardroom - ever think of that , john?� for someone who thinks he's super in tune with the music industry, your ideas for the auction were flat.� didn't mtv invent the "X band comes to your house to play a gig" idea?� i mean, i remember their contests in the 80s and i distinctly remember anthrax playing at some white trash's home in the midwest.� it's an old, used idea.� move on.

and then there was tana and craig...that whole, newly-created magna team is amazing.� the way she negotiated...even her adopted lingo was endearing and not offensive.� she got moby to allow for the winning bidder to hang with him for a week on tour...and even come on stage to play a set.� or, you could have hung out with kiss at their CD release party and have gene put his finger in your "ear"...you choose what's more impressive.

anyway, it wouldn't be fair if i didn't give a shout out to someone i usually rag on - erin.� yes, you still annoy me on some level, but you handled yourself well last night and i think you're very well spoken.

so, on we go to the boardroom when it shouldn't have come to any surprise that john was fired.� his ideas sucked, his negotiating skills sucked, and the was he views women sucks.

and here's some of my famously (wrong usually) predictions:

• tana and kendra, i believe that this season's apprentice may come down to these two strong and talented women.� i'm all about a woman winning it all this season!

• chris, i think your days are numbered.� you're 21 and you lack control.� you need to calm down and no screaming in the boardroom...you're too defensive and i think you'll eventually say something incriminating.� without john, your right-hand man...i'm not sure you'll make it past another 2 episodes.

• angie, my dad thinks you'll be the big winner...i think you're a great player and i love your ethics.� i see you as the "mom" of the bunch, incredibly centered.� watch yourself though, i worry that you try to make emotional alliances...that's not how this game is played. - xxoo dana � �

hey kids its friday thank god! and thank heavens for my dear friend dana - i just love you girl - so fucking glad we reconnected after our years in that place called 'melville/murphy' aka 'high school/junior high' - my love to frida - and yr dear hubby ryan! read on for dana's latest take on the apprentice...

john, john, john. i feel terrible for saying such amazing things about you all these weeks. if it weren't for the fact that popbytes archives all of my articles...i might lie and call you a crude asshole. what happened?!

let me quickly sum up last night's episode...so i can get to my broken heart. so, the two teams get to set up mini golf businesses on chelsea pier in the big apple. magna has a safari team and erin and kendra kick ass with marketing and promotions by practically overtaking chelsea piers with flyers at every single vendor/activity already there to promote their mini golf course. on the other hand, audrey, as project manager had the novel idea of having a circus themed course. doesn't she know that kids are afraid of clowns - duh! so she gets all of her teammates to dress as ghetto-ass clowns and there's chris chewing tobacco and dressed up as a clown...oh, because dip and clowns don't equate to scary as hell to a child. how brilliant net worth.

so, we find out last night that audrey came from nothing and both of her parents were once in prison...blah, blah, blah. it's unfortunate that you're drama didn't play well for you in the boardroom my pretty. audrey, you're fired. and so net worth loses another team player.

so, let's get back to my broken heart and john. john, john, john...i didn't like the way you treated audrey, even if she is a twit. and you defied her by being hard to work with...just because she's younger and female doesn't make it fair or right for you to decide not to follow her direction or intimidate her, or ridicule her or act like an asshole. so, i have to apologize to those of you that actually follow my predictions...but i think i have to change them:

• i no longer think john has a shot at the full win. his ego and pride got the best of him and we all saw an uglier side of john. to be honest, i'm thinking kendra has a good shot. she's smart, she's quiet at all the right times and she's very creative...who knows, this could be the season a woman finally takes it home (thank god!).

• erin, granted your marketing ideas were awesome this episode, everytime i see you on screen...i get sick. cut your hair and stop being...well, ugh. i saw your pageant pictures in a magazine recently...and ugh.

- angie, i love you. you're a fierce, strong woman...but you knew better than to stick up for audrey in the boardroom. please don't think with your heart in this game...trump wants a mind. xxoo until next week - dana

hey kids - read on below - i so love having a columnist! (if the wind moves any of you to want to write a popbytes column - let me know! email me at mk@popbytes.com) thanks again dana - you rock!

i don't know why, but last night's episode of nbc's the apprentice was a little lack luster and didn't have the drama that several earlier episodes had. at any rate, it was a fun hour nonetheless.

so, both teams were asked to create graffitti for the playstation launch of grand turismo 4 somwhere near harlem. now i apologize that i'm giving away the ending so early on in my posting...but team net worth has two african american players on their team...one being from new york city...and yet they lost. that's pretty pathetic if i do say so myself.

so, each team gets to pick an artist (do they call them, urban muralists...who the fuck knows). anyway...it was clear from the start that magna's artist was super talented...and at the end of the mission, magna's creation not only looked better...but team project manager, alex, even took the time to ask locals what would make them react to the mural. way to go alex.

on the other hand, project manager for net worth, tara, had assumed she knew exactly what harlem wanted to see and what would get them to react because a) she's black and b) she's from the city. apparently, she was super wrong...because the mural sucked and had nothing to do with the game itself.

so, in the boardroom, it was decided that team net worth were the losers and now tara needs to bring two people, at most, into the boardroom. here's where i think she made her mistake. in the apartment, she clearly was pissed off at both audrey and john because she believed they had witheld information regarding the features of the game. audrey brought up a good point...GT4 wasn't even out yet so how could she know exactly what the game would be like. so, one would think john and audrey would join tara. but out of left field, she sells craig out because he was her 'right hand man'...which appeared to be news to craig.

anyway, since the idea was 100% tara...trump fired her and another one bites the dust. so, here's some of my famous predictions:

• i know i must sound repetitive, but john is net worth's strongest player and i personally would love to see him take the whole thing.

• audrey...i have a feeling your time is numbered. you're cute...but a little blank on the inside. unless you have some amazing idea or pull a huge amount of weight in an upcoming mission...i don't think you have a chance in hell.

• alex, you surprise me. i didn't think you had a win in you, but you're really impressive...although i don't think you're impressive enough to win at this game.

• erin...for some reason, you drive me crazy...you're weird and ditzy and you have this "i'm a fancy lawyer" thing about you that i just can't stand.

oh...and because i'm shameless...check me out online at www.poshflops.com. be prepared for the spring and summer with a fabulous pair of Swarovski encrusted flip flops custom made to match your favorite outfit! (thanks mk for all your help!)

hey kiddies! check out the latest apprentice musings from dear dana!

finally...i swear, i never thought i'd see the end of michael's absolute laziness. he gives business people a bad name. everyone knows a michael. someone who lets others do the work for him and kisses ass so he flies under the radar. well, not this time pudge!

in last night's epispode, both teams were given airstreams, those cool, retro campers from the 50s. both teams needed to come up with mobile business ideas that they could promote using their respective airstreams and $50,000. team magna set up a mobile spa with massage services while net worth created a mobile casting call.

althought at first i thought tana's idea of this mobile casting call/opportunity for starving actors was a little odd and i couldn't visualize how it would work or earn them a profit, but it did...by a very small margin, team net worth won. i swear, nothing's bringing that team down!

anyway, back in the board room erin (who has officially drived me batty) rattled off some crap...lawyers, that's about all their good for. and bren, as the project leader for magna needed to bring two people into the boardroom...stephanie and michael. why stephanie? do you even watch the show? she's a freakin' bitch on wheels.

so now trump has to make a decision and to be honest, it certainly did look like stephanie was going to be ousted...but then there's michael...kiss ass to the stars. and he decides to defend himself when no defense was necessary...so, for interrupting - you're fired (asshole!).

and here are some more of my fancy-dancy predictions:

• i'm sure you're all tired of me saying this...but john - i love you...you'll take this all the way, i know you will.
• eric, shut up. please. and cut that freakin' mane of yours
• stephanie...chill out or you're next. you need to let the project manager take heat for problems and not point everything out like you normally do.
• where's danny when you need him?

hey kids - read on below for a roundup of last night's apprentice - its raining in LA - i so cant deal! more later from me!

let me start off by apologizing. this week's apprentice musings will be somewhat brief compared to prior week's. unfortunately, i've learned that watching the apprentice while under the influence of illegal substances isn't the greatest when it comes to remembering everything that happened...sorry.

so, here's the cliff notes version of last night's stunning performance starring my favorite narcissist donny deutsche. god, i can't stand that guy. i'm in advertising...but he's all about himeself and not so much about the work...and well, he's donny douche-bag in my book.

anyway, client: dove's new cooling body wash. project: create a 30 second TV spot that's memorable. magna corp: soft-core gay porn featuring a cucumber and a bitchy model. net worth: non-comedic commerical featuring a man lathering face with body wash...lovely.

so, the big twist of last night's show was that neither team won. magna, for creating a gay porn for the world's most generic, republican and family-oriented brand. and net worth for showing body wash as face lotion (no water, no wash).

kristen, project manager for net worth is fired because, well, she's a bitch with a boyfriend who probably has no talent and so here's a recap of some predictions:

john - i still love you and i truly believe you'll be in the final two

erin - you're a lawyer?! gosh, you suck...i don't like looking at you or listening to you and you tried to get me to believe that your team is like family...so is michael your underachieving, mildly-retarded brother?

donny deutsche - i don't like you very much. but i'm sure you like seeing yourself on TV...you're show on CNBC sucks.

i'm out...sorry...i promise next week's musing will be super duper! xxoo - dana

hey kids - more on the apprentice from last night from my pal dana (i just love having columnists!) - and it looks like she will be making it to the open call in philly (i just love philly btw) - check you all later!

"i have to admit, the hyped up last night's show all week and i was really preparing myself for the episode of all episodes, but i don't think it lived up to my expectations.

in this week's challenge, both teams needed to organize an event for Nescafe.� team magna hired a professional event planner to help with the details that the team might not have been able to handle on their own.� although this was a great idea (kudos to stephanie), danny the project manager for team magna had some trouble making timely decisions.� although i absolutely love danny, he has trouble running his team with the conviction and aggressiveness mr. trump is looking for.

team net worth had angie in charge and pulled off�a successful campaign with a patriotic feel.� they even had a moc political campaign where professionals squared off on hot vs. cold coffee drinks.� although team net worth won, my biggest complaint was that the americana theme wasn't on target with the Nescafe brand.� what should be seen as a very european style coffee drink, was marketed in red white and blue, which i think creates confusion.� but that's just my two cents.

another set back for team magna (which some may blame for the teams demise) was michael who held the exemption from last week's win.� some felt that his lack of work ethic and integrity because he knew he couldn't be fired, made him a terrible asset for the team.

anyway, drama queen of the night goes to verna who couldn't take the heat and left the show in the first 10 minutes.� i was only surprised by how there wasn't a lot of pomp and circumstance surrounding that tidbit.

but, i'm sad to say, it was danny who was fired...because ultimately, it's the project manager's responsibilty to manage his team...even if that means he needs to put one or two in the penalty box so they can't ruin it for everyone else.

my predictions -
• should magna lose again next week, i wouldn't be surprised if michael were fired based on his level of integrity this week.

• john, i'm still thinking you're going to take it all.

• and i think bren has a good shot to be in the final three for his team.

so, next week's previews look like there will be some heavy drama and excitement when both teams are pulled into the boardroom and someone offends someone...and it's all too much for me to take!!!

PS i'm headed to philadelphia on the 18th for the open casting call of the next apprentice (could be with martha or donald).� wish me luck...and danny.� i loved you, this one's for you.

Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling From glen to glen, and down the mountain side The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying 'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide."

oh kids - martha stewart has set her sights on the day she gets out of the big house - and joins the trump house - it was announced yesterday that martha stewart will indeed join up with mr. trump for a spin-off from his hit reality show 'the apprentice' already in it's third season now and it shall be called - what else of course? the apprentice: martha stewart - my pal dana who writes her apprentice musings weekly is planning to either go to the open auditions in nyc - or send a tape in - i told her why not - she might as well (more research for her column!) - alas this isn't a show for popbytes to be on - i would prefer big brother or even survivor (which is due for its 10th season next week!)

anyways just wanted to fill you all in on that - and you can click the banner to the right to find out when & where open auditions are - no airdates for the show's premiere have been set - but i would imagine it will be after she gets out of jail - don't forget you can always check the popbytes 'count' of how many days she has been locked up in the right column - check you all laters - xxoo

more from my pal dana on the apprentice

wow.� mr. trump does not fail to entertain this season with the battle of the book smarts vs. the street smarts.� can someone say "drama"?� so, in last night's episode, both teams needed to revamp two separate motels on the jersey shore.� both, looking exactly the same, were so campy...i loved the outside decor...but once the teams moved onto the inside, it was a horrid mess.� filthy carpets, rotted bathrooms, moldy ceilings and no furniture (not to mention the fake wood paneling on the walls)...so chic!

camp net worth was managed this week by brian while the magna corp was managed by michael.� both teams were up for a challenge...but along the way, it was the inter-team drama that kept me thoroughly engaged throughout the entire episode.

first off, as i predicted last week, brian's running of the mouth put him in hot water with most of his teammates.� kristen, as team accountant for the mission, lost her cool on several occasions because brian wouldn't sit down and map out a budget with her...instead, he decided to replaced 14 perfectly fine toilets rather than just getting 14 new toilet seats.� according to brian, it would be his artful negotiation skills that would put net worth ahead (lest we forget last week's episode - he did negotiate that free viking hat...definitely a team asset!).� but instead, it appeared that his lack of direction, budget and his abrasiveness would be the team's demise.

over on the magna side, michael did a fairly good job as project manager.� although he had some difficulty managing a few team members who didn't like manual labor (i.e. verna), things went well on their side because they banked on the "party" atmosphere of the jersey shore, focusing on fun and customer service.� although danny appeared to be in hot water after last week's boardroom, he really proved himself in this mission (can you believe he's 39?!).� the big drama of the night, of course, was when verna upped and quit towards the end of the mission...she fit in on the jersey shore, walking around aimlessly like a crack-hoar looking for her next fix.� but in comes caroline to save the day.

and now for the boardroom, this was fairly dramatic as well...team net worth starts focusing completely on brian and his lack of managerial skills...then trump asks brian if he should fire him, and brian says "yes."� some people are so dumb.� there was a little focus on chris for not stepping up to the plate because this mission was where his background was - he got a little defensive.� but in the end it was brian who was fired.� i must be freakin' psychic, because last week i predicted that ") i think brian from team net worth will be fired before there are 5 people left on his team...i don't think trump is overjoyed with his brash personality (and i think trump was a little uncomfy admitting to a selfless act of kindness at the dinner table)."

so, to sum up:
a) i'm definitely psychic...much better than miss cleo

b) i'm still in love with john...he's respectable, smart and is a strong asset for team net worth

c) verna, shit or get off the pot.� danny is no longer going to be seen as a loose cannon after the crap you pulled in jersey...i predict your days are numbered.� mr. trump doesn't need a pain in the ass on his team

hey kids! its the return of trump - and the return of my good pal dana's musings on 'the apprentice' which kicked off season 3 last night - read on below - and big thanks to dana!

"well, it's 2005 and we asketh and trump bringeth.� god bless the soon to be married donald trump.� last night's season opener for the new apprentice (number 3 for those of you who are counting) was everything i had hoped for.

first off, this season mr. trump has those with a college education (team magna/book smarts) against those who have nothing higher than a high school education (team net worth/street smarts).� and the very first project was to promote a new menu item at burger king.

it should have come as no surprise that the net worth team would blow the pompous magna team out of the water.� i think when it comes right down to it this season, it will be net worth's tenacity and ability to meet eye to eye with the average joe that will provide them with the strength to win this one.

okay, so i've given the cliff notes version of apprentice 3's first episode...now for some character studies.� right off the bat, danny from team magna...he's a crazy little spitfire, isn't he?� he is the very first contestant to bring a musical intrument with him to chez trump...and much like elizabeth from last season (and i'm convinced anyone with a master's degree), he has the dumfounding ability to continually second guess every idea he has - and we all know this is a) a waste of time and b) always leads to crappy ideas.� so, when his brilliant promotion of dirty hippie ping pong was a flop, this shouldn't have been a big surprise.

what was a big surprise was the boardroom...todd, magna's project manager brings alex and danny into the board room.� now, up until this point, i was convinced that danny was done for...the team was using him as a scapegoat...but then kendra (hate the name, love her morals) steps up and admits that a team needs to be led, and when a team member fails, it's because the leader failed to lead.� that coupled with george's rantings about the need for more people trained at point of sales proved to be todd's demise.� and therefore, todd is the 1st contestant fired on season 3.

so, here's some of my crystal ball assumptions about things we may see this season:

a) i think brian from team net worth will be fired before there are 5 people left on his team...i don't think trump is overjoyed with his brash personality (and i think trump was a little uncomfy admitting to a selfless act of kindness at the dinner table).

b) john from team�net worth�will be a superstar...right off the bat, i think he'll be in the top 3 pending he doesn't do anything stupid like strip to sell a candy bar.

c) erin from team magna...you're a goner (unless you prove to be like teflon...i.e. ivana).� don't cry on the first episode.� plus, you're too cute and weak to join the trump organization.

d) as much as i believe personality and quirkiness is important in all aspects of life, danny, i'm sorry to say...your days are numbered.

so, stay tuned for more apprentice.� this season is bound to be the best. - xxx dana"