good morning everybody! don’t forget that tonight is the much anticipated two hour premiere of the 9th season of that amazing race – after the last semi-boring 8th round with families i am so ready to get back to two partner teams! this is one of the most exciting on the edge of your seat shows – so make sure you tune in! popbytes over & yes it’s still wet outside here in LA :( – xxoo!

hey kids amazing race season 7 is over! and was one of the most exciting seasons to date! congrats to couple uchenna & joyce for taking the million dollar prize – how intense were those last two hours? and i bet she is happy she did shave her head!



sidenote: special huge gigantic popbytes thanks to mr. jon who has provided excellent ‘amazing’ commentary all-season long – and i expect he will back on popbytes soon enough – he is already set to do the 8th season! and he is more than welcome! again thanks – popbytes so loves guest columnists! and be sure to check his blog at solidly spontaneous – ok popbytes out for now – i will be back later with idol thoughts…

After an amazing five minutes of the season’s recap, we finally leap
back to the race and discover Rob and Amber have left the building at
2:47 AM. They’re in London right now, and the clue yells at them to go
to Kingston, Jamaica. That’s pretty cool, mon [harhar].



Followed by Ron and Kelly at 4:26 AM and Uchenna and Joyce at 4:41 AM,
Rob and Amber manage to snag a 12:40 flight that will eventually carry
all the teams to good ol’ Jamaica.



In Jamaica, there’s lots of xylophoning and steel drumming as people
dance around and become happy. It’s all very kind and sweet. I love how
the Editors and Producers of TAR show the countries being all happy. It
makes the world seem like a better place. Sigh.



This leg is a short one. A limbo task, which will determine at which
time teams may depart the following morning, is the roadblock that
Joyce, Amber, and Kelly defeat. Rob, Amber, Ron, and Kelly all leave at
8:15 the next morning, with Uchenna and Joyce trailing 15 minutes behind
them.



The detour is a choice between riding a raft and building a raft. All
the teams choose to build the raft, after which they must cross the
river and retrieve a clue. Everyone does it successfully, despite the
constant bickering on Ron and Kelly’s part.



The pit stop is Montego Bay. On the way there, Uchenna and Joyce suffer
a flat tire that pushes them behind quite a bit. Heretofore on the leg,
they were in first place. Unfortunately, they check-in last and have all
their possessions and money taken away. Which sucks because this is the
last leg. STUPID CAR.



The next leg is exciting, exciting, exciting! It’s the last leg of the
race and everyone seems pumped up to get to the finish line. Rob and
Amber are extremely confident that they will win and I secretly hoped
that a volcano or something would erupt and dump all its lava on Rob’s
head. They DO have volcanoes in Jamaica, don’t they?



Rob and Amber and Ron and Kelly, who checked in at almost the same time,
leave at 2:37 and 2:38 AM, respectively. Uchenna and Joyce trail by a
good ten minutes.



The clue tells the teams to get to Lucea, where they will have to chop
up onions. Crying ensues on Joyce’s part, but not because of the onions.
Remember, they had all their money taken away and had to start the leg
with zero dollars towards them. They go to the airport to beg for money,
and mon, begging must suck. They’re turned down multiple times and Joyce
gets quite upset. They, however, eventually get enough money to get them
to where they need to be.



After the onion task is chopped up and put away (pun!), teams have to
either Pony Up or Tee it Up at the Rose Hall. Everyone chooses to golf,
which is Tee it Up. They have to hit a 16ft area 140 yards away with a
golf ball. It’s pretty easy for everyone.



The roadblock is a jumping task way off in San Juan, Puerto Rico. I love
the last leg, because teams are always changing cities and locales all
the time. It’s so worldly. The roadblock, as aforementioned, requires
someone to jump off a bridge. Seriously.



Amber, Uchenna, and Ron take the task.



And they jump and survive.



Now…to be even worldlier and to get back to the US, teams have to
travel to Miami, Florida. Woohoo. Rob and Amber snag a 10 AM flight
instead of a 11:15 AM flight, and just as the jetway is closing, Uchenna
and Joyce MAGNIFICENTLY get on the same flight. Thank. God. That was an
extra hour lead R&A didn’t need.



In Miami, teams must go hither and thither and do this and that and then
get to a cigar shop. The trick is, the cigar shop’s name is in Spanish
but was given to them in English. Confusion is a factor in Rob and
Amber’s aimless searching, but thankfully Uchenna and Joyce had a
Spanish-speaking cab driver.



The last clue of the season instructs teams to travel to Fort
Lauderdale: The finish line.



On the way there, Uchenna and Joyce realize that they will not have
enough money to pay for the cab. Rob and Amber are right behind them (or
so it seems) and the tensions are really running high. At Fort
Lauderdale, Uchenna is running all over the place trying to find people
to help pay for the cab. Many people decline but some extremely nice
people give him some cash.



I was literally shaking in my seat while this was happening because the
Editors placed shots of Rob and Amber approaching over Uchenna’s frantic
searching. It was SO tense. It was Amazing.



A couple minutes later, there’s a lot of cheering and Uchenna and Joyce
are running toward the finish line. There’s lots of crying and cheering
and happiness as Uchenna and Joyce are pronounced the winners of The
Amazing Race 7.



Rob and Amber come in second and Ron and Kelly arrive third.



Uchenna and Joyce, who I am thankful won the million dollar prize, plan
to have babies. Non stop. 24/7. I kid. They want more in-vitro. Rob and
Amber want to start a family and no one knows what the hell Ron and
Kelly want. Break-up papers, perhaps?



This season was amazing. The planning could have been better, but Rob
and Amber didn’t win, which means this season was a success. I really
enjoyed recapping it, too, and I hope you enjoyed these recaps as much
as I did.



BY THE WAY, I also heard Lynn and Alex might be coming to Canada,
Toronto to be exact, to be married. However, I am unsure of this. I
heard it somewhere. But I’m sure we’ll keep you up to date here at
popbytes with the latest news.



And be sure to check out Rob and Amber get married airing on CBS on May 24th.
Just…don’t get too in to it. Actually, don’t watch it. Please. Don’t.

hey kiddies! oh it’s been a fun day! i went into reality overdrive today! so i was strolling through the farmer’s market here in los angeles over on fairfax/3rd – wearing my new tee-shirt that i just got custom-made from neighborhoodies – it says ‘READ MY BLOG – POPBYTES.COM’ – it garnered lots of attention – and i think it looked spiffy! so if you are coming here by way of my shirt – hello!- so first i spot alyn from bravo picking up a cake at the bakery – i couldn’t place him in the reality scheme – but then it finally came to me! and then i spot a pair of familiar guys – and at first i was mixing them up with other reality people – i swear i watch too much reality tv people – it all starts to get jumbled up in my pop head – but i finally realized – it was cutie couple lynn and alex – sadly one of the last teams to get booted from the amazing race (one of popbytes favorites!) – so once it dawned on me – i approached them – mentioned popbytes – and the lovely column here on pobytes written by that sweet jon from manitoba! and gave them a popbytes card – they were super sweet & adorable – and i hope they make it here as they promised! so a big hello to lynn & alex – i was a bit nervous – i just went into pop overdrive! anyways thank heavens it’s saturday – and i can catch up with some tv from the week i missed – oh it’s all so good – much love – popbytes out!

hey kids – check out the latest scandal-free amazing race! thanks mr. jon for his cheeky column – you’re always on time! and always able to provide perfect quips to this heart-pounding show! i swear when i watch this show i feel like i’m on speed! it sure keeps the blood pumping! popbytes out for now!

Good evening to Uchenna and the now bald Joyce, who depart from the pit
stop at 11:24 PM. Last week, they completed the not-so-fast-forward,
because their first place finish placed them only minutes ahead of the
other teams. Meredith and Gretchen depart at 11:33 PM, 9 minutes after
Uchenna and Joyce.



The clue tells the teams to fly to Istanbul, Turkey. There, they must
find the Kiz Kulesi and find their clue. There’s a TON of confusion
about flights wherein Rob tries to convince Amber and followers Ron and
Kelly that there isn’t possibly an earlier flight to take, but Uchenna
and Joyce and Meredith and Gretchen prove him wrong and arrive in Turkey
TWO HOURS BEFORE THEM, BABY! Build a house out of that, Rob.



Once at Kiz Kulesi, whose name closely resembles that of a kid in my
school, teams have to find a gnome and cart it around. They also have to
find Galata Kulesi. What’s with all the Kulesi? Perhaps the gnome’s name
is Kulesi? Perhaps Kulesi is the Turkish for Istanbul? I don’t know.



The clue at Galata Kulesi is a detour: Columns or Kilos. Uchenna and
Joyce, Rob and Amber, and Meredith and Gretchen do Kilos while Ron and
Kelly do Columns. In Kilos, UJRAMG have to weigh a bunch of people.
Like, tons. Two point seven five tons, to be exact, har har!



Ron and Kelly’s task is to complete a puzzle in this awesomely lighted
chamber with tons of columns. It seems quite easy, even though all the
other teams did the Kilos. Actually, both tasks seemed quite easy. But
if everyone else had done Columns, they would have had a light show. And
light shows? Are cool.



Lots of weighing and puzzle solving ensue. The next clue says to go to
Rumeli Hisari (HA! TAKE THAT KULESI). There, they will get a clue. Yawn.
What happened to the days where the teams would have to DO something to
get a clue? I miss those days. I also kind of miss Lynn and Alex, but
just a little. Indeed, I think it’s only their high pitched voices I
miss. Sigh. Squealing is such a delicacy.



Roadblocking follows! The roadblocker must have climbing as his or her
“forte.” Uchenna, Gretchen, Rob, and Ron do the task. They must climb a
tower, find a key, and repel back down. They will then open a book
containing their next clue.



Gretchen’s voice is annoying me to no end. Apparently, something in her
mind is telling her to constantly YELL in a voice that goes ONNNNNN and
ONNNNN. Like, she’ll take two words, like “old age,” for example, and
turn it into OLDDDDDDDD AGEEEEEEE. And to make matters worse, she
usually adds in a couple of “OHHHH, NOOOOOs!” and “OHHHH, GODDDDs!” here
and there, you know, to make me angry. Throughout the roadblock she was
screaming OHHHHH, NOOOO! and I was all SHUTTTT UPPPPP because, well,
I’ve had enough of her screaming antics. However, her face is starting
to look better. The scars seem to be healing.



And the pit stop! Uchenna and Joyce arrive first followed by Meredith
and Gretchen, then Rob and Amber, and finally Ron and Kelly, who of
course are not eliminated. Oh, and also Ron and Kelly win a wonderful
prize because their gnome had special powers (in the form of taking
another name besides Kulesi. I kid). But it evens out, since they have
all their possessions taken away and they will have no money at the
start of the next leg.



Next week: There are lots of driving of double-decker busses, lots of
frustration, and lots of canoe/boat problems.



Wish: Gretchen, please stop talking. Mime or something.

oh my pop boys & girls – check out the latest happenings on the amazing race! huge thanks mr. jon as per usual! it’s great! and yes i agree it might be your best column yet – keep it coming! popbytes is just getting started! outtie for now! xxoo

Remember

hey kids – check out the latest shenanigans with the amazing race! thanks mr. jon as per usual! yr column is getting refined! it’s great! – and i know for a fact a bunch of people enjoy it! cheers! popbytes out for now!

Khwai Village, Africa – where Rob and Amber depart first at 12:45 AM. The
clue is to head to Lucknow, India via various plane rides. Once in
Lucknow, they will have to find a religious palace and find a clue in a
section of the palace called “Bouli.”



All the teams manage to get to Lucknow without much difficulty. Lucknow
is apparently home to a billion and four bikes, as demonstrated by the
camera people. Like, seriously. Bikes are scurrying around at fast paces
and cars are honking and cows are walking through the street. It seems
really, really cool. Another location to which I HAVE to go!



The clue from the religious palace says to take a horse drawn carriage
to the Steel Emporium. It also warms teams that there is a yield ahead.
Speaking of which, this is the 2nd of 3 yields on the entire race.
Unfortunately, no one takes it.



The clue at the Steel Emporium is a roadblock, wherein the roadblocker
will need to search more than 600 boxes for a box containing a clue.
Only 10 boxes contain clues. Kelly, Amber, Uchenna, Alex, and Gretchen
do the roadblock. Gretchen is the only one left there at the end and has
quite a hard time finding the clue.



The next clue leads teams to the detour: Solid or liquid. In solid,
teams will – well it doesn’t matter because no one picks it anyhow. In
liquid, which everyone picks, teams cart a huge thing of tea to an
office and deliver tea to certain employees. They must deliver the tea
to five people and collect his or her business card.



Like I said, everyone does tea. And the tea looks really brown and sort
of milky and, to begin with, I hate tea. And this tea is…really oddly
coloured. So now I hate it more. Or something. I’m too confused today.
Try writing a recap thirty minutes after the episode airs, hehe!



The task seems really hard, because a lot of the employees just look at
you, and much to Gretchen’s despair, steal other people’s tea. It is
something I wouldn’t want to do.



There’s lots of cheering for Meredith and Gretchen, by the way. And I
don’t know why. People are asking for their autograph and…it’s all
very strange. Is it because they’re old? Is it because Gretchen has half
a face? Is it because Gretchen is carrying a snazzy backpack? We never
find out.



The clue after the detour tells teams to go to the top of a roof and
meet Phil. However, it does not say it is a pitstop. Rob and Amber, who
remained first throughout most of the leg, arrive and Phil greets them.
“However, this is not the end of the leg,” he says. “You are still
racing.” He has their next clue. And…shit. These guys look tired.



Next week: probably a lot of fatigue, and apparently some bitchy camels.

hey boys & girls – read up on that crazy race from popbyte’s amazing race columnist mr. jon – i’m a bit bummed the brothers went too – they were funny – it’s getting close! five teams left! no worries – i’m so sure the 8th race is on its way! popbytes out for now!

We

hey kiddies – read on below from our amazing race columnist jon (he was absent last week!) – it’s a bit long – but that is because it was a 2-hour episode – and an exciting one at that! (i prefer hourly shows though – 2 hrs can be a bit hefty at night) thanks again mr. jon! and thank heavens ray and deana left! he sucked!

PART ONE

Rob and Amber depart at 3 AM followed thereafter by the other teams. The
clue: fly to Johannesburg, South Africa. There, find the marked cars
containing your next clue. In that clue, teams are instructed to go to
the detour or take the first Fast Forward. Rob and Amber and Ray and
Deana both go for the fast forward, but Ray and Deana snag it forcing
Rob and Amber to go for the detour.



The detour is Tunnels or Tribes. In tunnels, teams must search through
a cave to find their next clue. In Tribes, teams give items to different
tribes to get their next clue. Tribes also comes with a bunch of creepy
men who make weird laughing noises at Lynn and Alex.



Tribes: Lynn and Alex; Rob and Amber. Everyone else does tunnels.



Gretchen scrapes her head open and bleeds all over the place. Meredith
almost has a heart attack, but continues searching for the clue.
Everyone gets the clue and gets to the roadblock, where they must buy
items for an orphanage. Ray and Deana check in at the pit stop (having
won the fast forward) and win two nice looking cars. Jerks.



Everyone buys their children’s toys and Rob and Amber find a fan. She
follows them everywhere and even checks into the pit stop with them.
Isn’t that illegal? Wasn’t Jonathan of Jonathan and Victoria forced to
get rid of his little gang last season when they were eliminated? Or was
that because everyone was doing a modified version of Hitler’s salute? Hmm.



At the roadblock: Kelly, Greg, Lynn, Amber, Uchenna, and Gretchen. They
complete the roadblock and go off to the orphanage where there is
happiness. And then teams go to the pit stop. And then it goes like
this: Ray and Deana; Ron and Kelly; Brian and Greg; Lynn and Alex; Rob
and Amber; and finally Meredith and Gretchen who are NOT eliminated but
get this–have their possessions taken away from them (and of course,
their money). That’s a good twist, show!



PART TWO

We start part two with even more happy music. Some day I would just like
for one of the city introductions to be filled with dark, emo music just
so I can say, well…I don’t know. “What’s up with this music,” maybe.



The clue instructs the teams to drive to a lion and rhino camp where
they will feed lions. There are two times at which they may feed the
beasts: 8 am and 9 am. Ray and Deana, Ron and Kelly, and Brian and Greg
grab the 8 am spot.



There’s lots of eating, lots of fighting over chunks of meat, and lots
of getting of clues. Both groups finish the task.



Speaking of which–the clue says to fly to Gaborone or something and
take a train/bus/modes of transport to find the Giant Aardvark. I think
Rob pronounced that as “arnvark” or something else but I cannot
remember. Nor can I read my notes. God, you need to stop chicken
scratching, Jon.



At the airport, there are two flight times. Ron and Kelly, Brian and
Greg, Ray and Deana and Uchenna and Joyce get the noon flight departure
time while everyone else is on the 1:35 PM flight.



At wherevertheywentto, teams get to the train station and discover the
train leaves at 9 PM, which means a big bunch of bunching. People sit
around and wait.



So they’re at wherever they need to be and it’s a roadblock. The task
is to complete a hunting training exercise: throwing a spear at a moving
bag while a man in traditional thong claps strangely and is being called
“Yoda” by Brian and Greg. Ron, Rob, Ray, Meredith, Joyce, Brian, and
Lynn take on the task and they all complete it.



The clue, now, says to drive to Xau Xarra, which causes the teams to go
into fits of mispronunciation. While driving with their little
humvee/four by fours/whatever they’re driving, Brian and Greg FLIP their
car and we go to commercial with bodies on the ground, broken glass, and
an open hood. Uh oh.



Lynn and Alex agree with me, and they stop to see if everything is all
right. The camera guy is injured and looks identical to my neighbour.
His head rests on some lady’s lap. He has his eyes closed. Brian and
Greg are extremely freaked out and hope it isn’t over.



Everyone whizzes by and Lynn and Alex leave the scene of the crime.
They all get to the detour: food or water. In food, they will have to
pound down on corn to make it very fine. In water, they will need to
suck up water and fill 12 large eggs with it. Everyone does the food
task except for Rob and Amber and Brian and Greg. Rob takes off his
shirt and confirms to the world that he will never be a stripper.



In the end, it’s a race to the finish line between Brian and Greg and
Ray and Deana. Ray has been pissing me off this entire episode. He keeps
on making uncalled for comments about Meredith and Gretchen’s age. Like,
dude, you have grey hair yourself. Shove it. He also keeps on barking
and Deana. Shut up, asshole. Shut the fuck up. And that’s my only swear
for these recaps. In the end, God hears my cries and eliminates Ray and
Deana after an extremely nerve wracking foot race between the bros and
the…crows? I dunno, I wanted to rhyme.



Order of arrival: Ron and Kelly; Rob and Amber; Uchenna and Joyce; Lynn
and Alex; Meredith and Gretchen; Brian and Greg (their camera guy is
fine, says Phil!); Ray and Deana.



Next week: I don’t know! I didn’t catch the previews. But it’s bound to
be great!