legalbytes: cameron douglas gets five years



This week in pop culture and law is dedicated to Cameron Douglas. The son of Michael Douglas and grandson of Kirk Douglas, Cameron was born into Hollywood royalty. Instead of living off of royalty checks, however, he sold meth. For three years, DEA officials say, Cameron supplied more than five pounds to New York dealers and, according to the criminal complaint filed last year, Cameron charged nearly $50,000 per pound. He was arrested last summer and placed on house arrest until authorities caught his girlfriend smuggling heroine to him in an electric toothbrush. In January, Cameron pleaded guilty to drug possession and conspiracy to distribute large quantities of methamphetamine and cocaine. This week, although Cameron faced the possibility of 10 years behind bars, a federal judge sentenced him to five years in prison and five years of supervised release. He’s lucky on so many levels. Let’s hope he turns his life around because, unlike many people who struggle with addiction, he has a dream life awaiting.




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legalbytes: seagal ‘under siege’ for assault



This week in pop culture and law is dedicated to Steven Seagal. The action movie and reality tv star is facing a lawsuit by Kayden Nguyen, a 23-year-old former model and air traffic control student, who says he sexually assaulted her. The lawsuit contains very graphic details about numerous encounters, including sexual massages, alleged penetration, and forced drug use. Interestingly, Nguyen refrained from sharing one detail as follows: “Mr. Seagal became sexually aroused and had a unique physiological reaction to sexual arousal…Ms. Nguyen can and will describe in great detail Mr. Seagal’s unique physiological reaction to sexual arousal.” So, how unique could this “physiological reaction” be that Nguyen’s lawyers chose to omit said detail? It must be so “unique” that either they were unable to describe in words (which is unlikely) or they figured hinting at it would cause enough embarrassment to motivate settlement. Of course, the lawsuit also says: “Ms. Nguyen had received formal training as an ABA therapist, and assumed that the ‘massage’ Mr. Seagal expected was a professional therapeutic massage.” Uh-huh. Have a good weekend, Popbytes peeps!




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legalbytes: nicollette’s ‘desperate’ lawsuit



This week in pop culture and law is dedicated to former Desperate Housewives star, Nicolette Sheridan, who is suing ABC and the show’s creator, Marc Cherry, for wrongful termination, assault and battery, and age discrimination. Among other things, Nicollette says that Cherry slapped her in the face and then had her killed off the show when she complained to the network. Cue the ‘Mary Alice’ voice over: “Sometimes when we get slapped in the face, we strike back with a legal case.” Then, watch my TV Guide Network segment, which uncovers exclusive scoop on how Marc Cherry may defend himself. Have a good weekend, Popbytes peeps!




Read Nicollette Sheridan’s lawsuit


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legalbytes: uchitel’s silence is golden



It’s the Year of the Mistress, and the week of Rachel Uchitel. Reports surfaced this week that the original Tiger Woods mistress allegedly received $10 million to sign a confidentiality agreement and stay quiet about her relationship with Tiger. Yes, $10 million! By contrast, other mistresses received several hundred thousand dollars, and some got nothing. So, why don’t the underpaid mistresses start blabbing or renegotiating? Their agreements likely contain severe monetary penalties for breaching and require that any further dispute will be resolved in confidential proceedings. As a result, Tiger runs little risk of further leaks, and the underpaid mistresses have very little leverage for renegotiation. How much would it take to keep you quiet? Silence certainly can be golden, Popbytes peeps! Have a good weekend.




PHOTO | NY DAILY NEWS



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legalbytes: joe jackson vs. dr. murray



This week in pop culture and law is dedicated to Joe Jackson, who is expected to start the process for a wrongful death suit just days before Dr. Conrad Murray‘s April 5 preliminary hearing on manslaughter charges. Unfortunately for Joe, this may be over before it starts. In California, only Michael Jackson‘s heirs and dependents can sue for wrongful death. That may limit the possible plaintiffs to MJ’s kids and Katherine Jackson, unless Joe can prove MJ was supporting him. Moreover, wrongful death cases are about money, but Dr. Murray doesn’t have much and may have a hard time making a living for a long time. And, if the defense can show that MJ is making more in death than when he was alive, the case sinks. Exhibit #1: the $200 million record deal recently brokered by the executors of MJ’s estate. Have a good weekend, Popbytes peeps!



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legalbytes: oprah goes to trial



This week in pop culture and law is dedicated to Oprah Winfrey. In a 126-page decision, a Pennsylvania judge refused to dismiss a defamation case against her. The nerve of a judge not to give O her wishes, right? Well, now it’s up to a jury to decide the case filed by Larato Mzamane, the former headmistress of O’s South Africa-based Leadership Academy of Girls. Mzamane ran O’s school when allegations of abuse surfaced, and O publicly said that she had “lost confidence in (Mzamane’s) ability to run this school. And therefore, she will not be returning to this school.” As early as March 29, a jury will begin deciding whether O has to pay Mzamane six-figure damages for this statement. That is, if they can concentrate on anything other than the fact that they have front row seats to seeing Oprah in court. Have a good weekend, Popbytes peeps. Remember, don’t drink and drive. Oprah wouldn’t approve, and neither do I.



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legalbytes: lohan is addicted to milk?



This week in pop culture and law is dedicated to Lindsay Lohan and her quest to sue E-Trade for airing this commercial:


Lindsay claims the commercial infringes on her right of publicity (a celebrity’s right to prevent others from profiting from her name, likeness, voice, or image without paying for it). Why? Because the ad refers to a “milk-a-holic Lindsay” and whenever we hear the name “Lindsay,” we automatically think of Lindsay Lohan. Puhlease, it’s not like that baby has red hair, a DJ girlfriend, a self-tanning product, leggings, a history of car wrecks, or a DUI. That, Popbytes peeps, is my official legal opinion. Have a good weekend! And, remember, if you’re gonna drink and drive, just drink milk.



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legalbytes: from oscars to lawscars!



For this week’s spotlight on pop culture and law, the Lawscar goes to The Hurt Locker. Iraqi War veteran Master Sgt. Jeffrey S. Sarver filed a lawsuit this week against people behind the Oscar nominated film, including director Kathryn Bigelow and banned producer Nicholas Chartier. Sarver alleges that Marc Boal, the screenwriter, was embedded with him in combat and stole his life story, even though the film’s credits state that the characters are entirely fictional. So, why wait until just days before the Academy Awards to file the lawsuit? It’s called leverage. And, it likely will work to squeeze out a nice financial (and confidential) settlement! Have a good weekend, Popbytes peeps. Remember, don’t drink and drive. But, feel free to drink and watch me on TV Guide Network‘s Countdown to the Academy Awards, starting Sunday at noon (PST)!




Veteran Sues The Hurt Locker Over Life Story


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legalbytes: child stars are people, too



This week in pop culture and law is dedicated to Andrew Koenig. Best known for his role as ‘Boner’ on Growing Pains from 1985-89, Koenig suffered from depression as an adult and, sadly, was found dead yesterday in a Vancouver park after committing suicide. Believe it or not, suicide used to be a felony in many states and, today, some states classify attempted suicide as a criminal act even though prosecutions are rare. Illegal or not, let’s make sure none of our friends or family gets to that point. If you are feeling desperate, alone, or hopeless … or know someone who is, please call for help ASAP. The US National Suicide Hotline is 1-800-273-TALK.



Video: Andrew Koenig Still Missing After 10 Days


Police Involved In Search For Missing Andrew Koenig


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legalbytes: britney spears’ hair turns three!



Someone once asked me how messed up you have to be for a court to establish a conservatorship over your life. The answer is: umbrella-thumping-head-shaving-messed-up! That’s why this week is all about my favorite pop culture / law collision, Britney Spears. Believe it or not, Brit took those infamous clippers to her head three years ago this week. After she stripped every hair from her head, the court system stripped away her parental rights and, eventually, the right to control her own life. But, look at her now. Her hair (with the help of some extensions, of course) is back and, by all accounts, so is her career and personal life. Congrats, Brit! Have a good weekend, Popbytes peeps. If you’re in front of a TV, check me out on E!’s “Doomed By Lust” (a snippet is below) and, remember, don’t drink and drive.



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