When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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Remember when Lil' Wayne released Tha Carter III and everyone hailed him as a musical genius? And then he basically drowned that critical goodwill in a bucket of cough syrup and bad auto-tuned rock music? Yeah, say goodbye to the rest of Lil Wayne's credibility as an artist, because he just signed Paris Hilton to his record label, Cash Money. TMZ reports ... Lil Wayne's crew just signed Paris Hilton to a record deal ... and she's planning on MORE
True story here: Back in January, my boyfriend got that sinus infection that's been going around, and at one point he got hit so hard by it that he collapsed and I nearly had to take him to the hospital. Thankfully, nothing bad happened, but at no point while he was lying on the floor and I was making sure he didn't pass out did I ever think "hey, this would be a good photo opportunity. Someone get me a camera and some attention!" So when Paris MORE
This track "Last Night" is something that should have remained hidden ... it's Paris Hilton featuring Lil' Wayne, listen if you dare. It's totally a prime example of something that would have been best to leave alone, there's a reason crap like this doesn't get released or see the light of day. As for Paris' music career, it appears to be dead in the water at this point, I've been known to enjoy 2006's "Stars Are Blind" now and again but let's MORE
Because it worked so well for Kim Kardashian, (has been) Paris Hilton decided to recycle an old Halloween costume yesterday, when she went out as Slutty Alice in Wonderland, just like she did back in 2007. Actually, for all we know, this could have very well been a non-slutty costume, but once it touches Paris' skin ... well, transient properties, people. Look it up. The Daily Mail reports ... Paris Hilton certainly could have come up with MORE
You know, in all this kerfuffle about Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes driving into things that are alive, I almost forgot that Paris Hilton is scum-sucking trash! Well, as a neat little reminder that Paris is a miserable toss-pot who deserves no happiness ever, an alleged recording of her saying that gay guys are disgusting and that most them have AIDS made its way onto the internet, and -- Yes. Paris Hilton, in 2012, allegedly said those things. MORE
Just in case you forgot, Paris Hilton is terrible at everything. But recently, she showed everyone that she is terrible at being a DJ, which really shouldn't come as a surprise because once again: Paris + Doing things = SUUUUUUUUUCK. But of course, when you desecrate an art form, it's only a matter of times before the artists start piling on you, which is just what happened when DJ Jane Bang released this wonderful diss track (listen to it below) MORE
Yesterday, pictures were plastered all over the web of Paris Hilton lying on the ground among a pile of men. While this normally isn't anything new, the fact that this was a part of an alleged paparazzi scuffle was. Today, RadarOnline has a video of someone purported to be Paris trying to grab a camera out of a paparazzo's hand for unexplained reasons. But if I had to guess: attention. She probably did it for attention. "It was 3:30 in the MORE
So yesterday, the web got its first glimpse at Paris Hilton failing at another art form, as Paris popped out her little Easy-Fake DJ Booth and tried to actually play music. By which I mean, she turned a knob that did absolutely nothing before accidentally playing a Rihanna song over her own song, and then someone had to come out and fix everything she did. It was glorious in its misery, it really was. Anyway, real DJ Deadmau5 saw what Paris was MORE
Last night, tossed aside socialite Paris Hilton made her premiere as a DJ in São Paulo, before you ask: no, I have no idea what Brazilians did to deserve this. It's the equivalent of waking up in a bathtub full of ice without your kidneys. The only person that we can blame for this is DJ Afrojack, the man who decided to help Paris be a DJ, I'm guessing because he lost a fiddling contest with the devil or something (This is why you read the fine MORE
After six months in what I can only assume was cohabitational quarantine by the CDC, DJ AfroJack has finally had enough of Paris Hilton and decided to dump her heiress ass, I'm guessing because he woke up one morning, said "I'm dating Paris Hilton", and then spent the rest of the day trying to wrestle a gun out of his mouth. RadarOnline reports: Paris Hilton and DJ AfroJack have called it quits after dating for around six months, RadarOnline MORE
There's something about living in Australia that apparently just erodes your ability to give a crap, because Aussie reporter Edwina Bartholomew clearly couldn't give one if she wanted to. Paris Hilton was down in Oz as part of her new career of following around people who are actually famous and talented she's dating, and decided to stop in at Channel 7 for an interview. Edwina decided to ask Paris about her waning "fame" to her face (side note: MORE
Sure, Paris Hilton may be a washed-up has-been whose career went from 'doing nothing' to 'somehow doing less than nothing', but thanks to years of annoyance by her coupled with her own continued need to exemplify the worst aspects of humanity, I keep writing about her. It's a wonderful thing. Anyway, Paris went to a party with her 'boyfriend' DJ Afrojack, and on the way in, basically told all of her friends to screw off because they didn't have MORE
I have no idea who Manufactured Superstars are, but I'm sure they're terrible people because they saw fit to let Paris Hilton lend her voice to their new single Drunk Text (watch the music video below), which according to the Geneva Convention, is a crime punishable by immolation. Anyway, the whole thing is just as terrible as you would think anything starring Paris would be. Seriously, this song and video are what you would create if you wanted MORE
Remember when Paris Hilton decided that falling out of a rich vagina and spending the rest of her life sitting pretty because she won the genetic lottery somehow meant she could sing? Like most of America, you probably blocked that out with binge drinking. Lots and lots of binge drinking. Well, Paris is about to stoke those buried memories because she's decided to resurrect her singing career (actually, any career would be good for her right now) MORE
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