Paris Hilton: One of the top five DJs in the world?

Paris Hilton

What's that? You were feeling good about yourself after the holidays? Got to see your family and now you're all happy again? Got some nice presents? Gave some sweet gifts yourself? Well, here comes the suck: Paris Hilton thinks she's one of the top five DJs in the world, and she actually makes a stupidly huge amount of money for being so useless. And it's gotten so bad that Paul Oakenfold actually had to step in to tell her off. TMZ reports MORE

Paris Hilton didn’t confuse Nelson Mandela with MLK Jr.

Paris Hilton

Nelson Mandela died yesterday, at the age of 95 after spending his life to making the world a better place instead of, say, making a reality TV show about how rich people are better than stupid poor folks. Which brings us to Paris Hilton, who's none too pleased that a fake tweet about her confusing Mandela with Martin Luther King Jr. made the rounds. Although let's be honest: She kind of dropped off the face of the Earth. She should be thankful MORE

Paris Hilton debuts her “Good Time” video

Paris Hilton "Good Time" Music Video

I'm not sure who opened the seventh seal or solved Lemarchand's box or whatever the hell just happened, but Paris Hilton has a new music video, and the only explanation is that someone messed around with forces most dark and tied our fates to The World Beyond Sight And Sound. Watch this thing called "Good Time" (featuring Lil' Wayne / produced by DJ Afrojack) and tell me that didn't just happen. Try it. Well, it looks like Anguish is our new god MORE

Lil’ Wayne signed Paris Hilton to Cash Money

Paris Hilton

Remember when Lil' Wayne released Tha Carter III and everyone hailed him as a musical genius? And then he basically drowned that critical goodwill in a bucket of cough syrup and bad auto-tuned rock music? Yeah, say goodbye to the rest of Lil Wayne's credibility as an artist, because he just signed Paris Hilton to his record label, Cash Money. TMZ reports ... Lil Wayne's crew just signed Paris Hilton to a record deal ... and she's planning on MORE

Paris Hilton is literally the devil!

Paris Hilton and River Viiperi

True story here: Back in January, my boyfriend got that sinus infection that's been going around, and at one point he got hit so hard by it that he collapsed and I nearly had to take him to the hospital. Thankfully, nothing bad happened, but at no point while he was lying on the floor and I was making sure he didn't pass out did I ever think "hey, this would be a good photo opportunity. Someone get me a camera and some attention!" So when Paris MORE

Paris Hilton’s single featuring Lil’ Wayne surfaced

Paris Hilton featuring Lil' Wayne "Last Night"

This track "Last Night" is something that should have remained hidden ... it's Paris Hilton featuring Lil' Wayne, listen if you dare. It's totally a prime example of something that would have been best to leave alone, there's a reason crap like this doesn't get released or see the light of day. As for Paris' music career, it appears to be dead in the water at this point, I've been known to enjoy 2006's "Stars Are Blind" now and again but let's MORE

Paris Hilton is recycling her Halloween costumes too

Paris Hilton

Because it worked so well for Kim Kardashian, (has been) Paris Hilton decided to recycle an old Halloween costume yesterday, when she went out as Slutty Alice in Wonderland, just like she did back in 2007. Actually, for all we know, this could have very well been a non-slutty costume, but once it touches Paris' skin ... well, transient properties, people. Look it up. The Daily Mail reports ... Paris Hilton certainly could have come up with MORE

Paris Hilton on gays: Most of them probably have AIDS

Paris Hilton

You know, in all this kerfuffle about Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes driving into things that are alive, I almost forgot that Paris Hilton is scum-sucking trash! Well, as a neat little reminder that Paris is a miserable toss-pot who deserves no happiness ever, an alleged recording of her saying that gay guys are disgusting and that most them have AIDS made its way onto the internet, and -- Yes. Paris Hilton, in 2012, allegedly said those things. MORE

DJ Jane Bang tells Paris Hilton to suck it!

Paris Hilton

Just in case you forgot, Paris Hilton is terrible at everything. But recently, she showed everyone that she is terrible at being a DJ, which really shouldn't come as a surprise because once again: Paris + Doing things = SUUUUUUUUUCK. But of course, when you desecrate an art form, it's only a matter of times before the artists start piling on you, which is just what happened when DJ Jane Bang released this wonderful diss track (listen to it below) MORE

Did Paris Hilton attack a photographer?

Paris Hilton

Yesterday, pictures were plastered all over the web of Paris Hilton lying on the ground among a pile of men. While this normally isn't anything new, the fact that this was a part of an alleged paparazzi scuffle was. Today, RadarOnline has a video of someone purported to be Paris trying to grab a camera out of a paparazzo's hand for unexplained reasons. But if I had to guess: attention. She probably did it for attention. "It was 3:30 in the MORE

How many people liked Paris Hilton’s DJ skills?

Paris Hilton

So yesterday, the web got its first glimpse at Paris Hilton failing at another art form, as Paris popped out her little Easy-Fake DJ Booth and tried to actually play music. By which I mean, she turned a knob that did absolutely nothing before accidentally playing a Rihanna song over her own song, and then someone had to come out and fix everything she did. It was glorious in its misery, it really was. Anyway, real DJ Deadmau5 saw what Paris was MORE

DJ Afrojack needs to apologize for this!

Paris Hilton

Last night, tossed aside socialite Paris Hilton made her premiere as a DJ in São Paulo, before you ask: no, I have no idea what Brazilians did to deserve this. It's the equivalent of waking up in a bathtub full of ice without your kidneys. The only person that we can blame for this is DJ Afrojack, the man who decided to help Paris be a DJ, I'm guessing because he lost a fiddling contest with the devil or something (This is why you read the fine MORE

DJ AfroJack dumped Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton and DJ AfroJack

After six months in what I can only assume was cohabitational quarantine by the CDC, DJ AfroJack has finally had enough of Paris Hilton and decided to dump her heiress ass, I'm guessing because he woke up one morning, said "I'm dating Paris Hilton", and then spent the rest of the day trying to wrestle a gun out of his mouth. RadarOnline reports: Paris Hilton and DJ AfroJack have called it quits after dating for around six months, RadarOnline MORE

Australia’s Channel 7 owned Paris Hilton!

Paris Hilton

There's something about living in Australia that apparently just erodes your ability to give a crap, because Aussie reporter Edwina Bartholomew clearly couldn't give one if she wanted to. Paris Hilton was down in Oz as part of her new career of following around people who are actually famous and talented she's dating, and decided to stop in at Channel 7 for an interview. Edwina decided to ask Paris about her waning "fame" to her face (side note: MORE