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Oprah Winfrey’s OWN is bleeding money!

Despite the fact that she was once the reigning queen of daytime TV and could make millions of bored housewives read a Jonathan Franzen novel just by glancing in its general direction, Oprah Winfrey‘s network, OWN, has reportedly lost like $330 Million, and honestly, at this point she couldn’t be burning money faster if she bought a Cerberus that ate diamonds and Lamborghinis. Via Huffington Post:

One of those mistakes might be the apparently vast sums of money that OWN has bled through since its inception. Bloomberg Businessweek reported last week that the network may have lost a whopping $330 million since it began in 2008. An analyst told the magazine that it was the most “successful failure in television today.” While Oprah does not have a personal financial stake in the company, it is still undoubtedly a black eye for her.

Mind you, her numbers are slowly picking up thanks to some of her recent exclusive interviews (Bobbi Kristina Brown, Lady Gaga), but at this point, that’s like putting a band-aid on the bleeding stump that was once your arm after its been bitten off by a Cerberus that only eats diamonds and Lamborghinis. On a side note, if anyone has a care guide for Cerberii that only eat diamonds and Lamborghinis, please send it to me before I bleed out.

Oprah WInfrey - OWN

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Oprah’s in trouble over Twitter plea!

February 14, 2012 10:50 AM by Jeremy Feist Leave a Comment Filed Under: Oprah Winfrey Tagged With: Nielsen, Oprah Winfrey, OWN, Twitter

So it turns out while Oprah Winfrey‘s talk show was a massive success, her cable network OWN is … well, less so. It’s gotten so bad for Oprah that now she has to beg people on Twitter to watch her channel because nothing says “grace and dignity” like a billionaire begging the middle class to watch her channel on a social network where people post pictures of their junk. Only it turns out that’s against the Nielsen Ratings’ policy of not begging people to watch your show, which makes this infinitely sadder than before. The New York Times reports:

But on Sunday night, when she used that powerful online megaphone to make what seemed to be a simple plea, Ms. Winfrey broke a rule that the Nielsen ratings company rarely has to enforce. “Every 1 who can please turn to OWN especially if u have a Neilsen box,” she wrote on Twitter just as a new episode of her interview show, Oprah’s Next Chapter, began.

What seemed to most Twitter users to be a simple, if misspelled and desperate-sounding, call to watch a struggling channel was seen by Nielsen as a potentially serious violation of its policy. Nielsen measures the television viewership of a sample of roughly 25,000 households across the United States, and it works hard to ensure that the sample is not coerced to watch specific shows or channels.

After officials at OWN and Nielsen corresponded on Monday morning, Ms. Winfrey removed the Twitter post at the ratings company’s request. “I intended no harm and apologize for the reference,” she said in a statement.

I’d hate to take Oprah’s side on anything, because let’s face it, the billionaire lady who can buy and sell me on the black market just for shits and giggles does not need the moral support of the guy who writes dick jokes for a living, but how is Oprah asking people to watch her show any different than when TV stars and networks ask people to watch their show on Twitter? Hell, this isn’t anywhere near as bad as when FOX tried to turn “adorkable” into an actual word. That shit is the reason why people think it’s okay to try and sell things they pulled out of the garbage as Etsy jewellery.

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Oprah, Darth Vader to receive Oscars!

August 3, 2011 9:40 AM by Jeremy Feist Leave a Comment Filed Under: Oprah Winfrey, Oscars Tagged With: James Earl Jones, Oprah Winfrey, Oscars

Somehow, neither Oprah nor James Earl Jones have ever won an Oscar, which is really weird because one is known to the world as an enigmatic overlord known for their ability to control things with their mind and an army at their beck and call, and the other played Darth Vader. Anyway, the Academy Awards are going to be acknowledging their contributions by awarding the two of them as well as make-up artist Dick Smith with lifetime achievement awards.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences says that Winfrey, along with legendary actor James Earl Jones and makeup artist Dick Smith, will be honored with Oscar statuettes at the Governors Awards in November. The academy’s Board of Governors voted Tuesday to recognize the trio for their individual achievements. Winfrey, 57, — well known for her charitable works — will receive the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award, which honors philanthropic and humanitarian contributions. Jones, 80, and Smith – known as the “godfather of makeup” will receive honorary Oscars for their outstanding careers. SOURCE

I really am surprised they haven’t won Oscars at this point. Well, except for Dick Smith, that guy has a little golden man in the bag. That being said, I always kind of thought it was weird for people to announce this now, in the middle of August, when the Oscars are still more than half a year away. I’m just saying, are you trying to drag this out as long as possible? Mean.

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Jenny McCarthy ditched Oprah!

July 29, 2011 8:46 PM by Jeremy Feist Leave a Comment Filed Under: Oprah Winfrey, People Tagged With: Jenny McCarthy, Oprah Winfrey, OWN

Apparently, Oprah Winfrey‘s new network, OWN, is apparently struggling to find its feet, probably because creating a 24/7 network dedicated to Oprah that does not contain any actual shows featuring Oprah (except Behind The Scenes which is almost over) is a shit idea. But I digress. Anyway, Jenny McCarthy was supposed to have her own show, but decided to up and quit that bitch because she didn’t like the direction it was going in, despite the fact that as far as really, really, really bad decisions go, pissing off Oprah is up there with falling asleep between Casey Anthony and a pile of duct tape.

“Jenny wasn’t thrilled with the direction that OWN producers were going with on the show,” a source said. “She had been working with Oprah and her producers for over a year, developing this project for OWN. Jenny finally decided to embrace Oprah’s philosophy, which is to ‘follow your bliss.’ Well, Jenny followed her bliss and walked right off the project. McCarthy has now taken the concept for the show she developed for OWN to NBC to produce, the source said. SOURCE

The only thing more confusing than why she would walk away from Oprah is why anyone would give her a show in the first place. Seriously, I’m not going to go after Jenny for her views on vaccines, mostly because that’s like running across a minefield in clown shoes, but I will say this: if you’re going to get medical opinions from someone, regardless of what those opinions are, why would you get them from the Playboy model who once shit her pants? That’s now how knowledge fucking works people. Being good or smart at one thing does not necessarily good or smart at something else. “Well actually I’m just a linecook at Applebee’s, but you know … cooking a chicken, heart surgery … same basic thing, right?”

Jenny McCarthy and Oprah Winfrey

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O magazine celebrates Oprah’s 25 years!

May 10, 2011 8:46 PM by Michael Knudsen Leave a Comment Filed Under: Oprah Winfrey Tagged With: O Magazine, Oprah Winfrey

I will probably have a nervous breakdown when the final episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show airs in just two weeks on May 25th, I’m already stocking up on tissues! As most of you know, I’m a huge fan of Oprah Winfrey, and I’ve been watching her show since I was ten-years-old back in 1986. I can’t claim to have seen all of her shows but I’ve seen a lot of ‘em! Afternoons are simply not going to be the same without the queen of daytime, nobody is going to be able to replace her. Yet I keep telling myself, she’s not leaving TV completely, and will be putting more time and energy into her OWN network, which is actually in dire need of her attention. For the June issue of O magazine, there’s two covers which you’ll find below, I still can’t believe twenty-five years have gone by, make sure to visit Oprah’s website, there’s tons of content celebrating her talk show. My only regret will be not having gone to Chicago to see the show tape in person at Harpo Studios, that’s something that will haunt me for quite some time. If I could pick anyone in the entire world to meet and perhaps have lunch with, hands down it would have to be Oprah!

Oprah on the show’s early days:
“The first few years when the staff was still less than 12 people, I used to hang out with them because we were doing live shows, and we’d be done by 10 a.m. We had four people in four chairs, and that was it. Those were the days where I’d be the one taking the lunch order. I would walk around asking, ‘Okay, is it gonna be Taco Bell today, or are we doing Wendy’s?’ And then we’d go out and party at night.”

No regrets:
“I don’t regret having talked about my life. The show has been my therapy…I’ve never had a day’s therapy, but I’ve had many days of listening to really excellent therapists, starting with Dr. Phil, who is beyond excellent at what he does.”

Final farewell:
“I genuinely feel appreciated and loved by this audience that has grown up with me. Which, for me, is a huge, huge, huge accomplishment. Because I grew up feeling the opposite of that. Feeling a void, as a little girl, feeling that really nobody loved me. So to be surrounded by this, that is what I’m going to feel. And when you see the tears on the last show, that’s what those tears will be about. Those tears will not be about sadness.”

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Oprah Ate 30 Pounds Of Mac & Cheese

January 13, 2011 8:20 AM by Jeremy Feist Leave a Comment Filed Under: Oprah Winfrey Tagged With: Oprah Winfrey

So apparently back in 1998, Oprah fell into a pretty deep depression. And while most people would just pop a bag of chocolate chips in their mouth, Oprah instead ate 30 pounds of Mac & Cheese. For those of you wondering, that’s about 18,000 calories. How her heart didn’t burst out of her chest and resign in protest is a miracle in and of itself.

“[Beloved] premiered on a Friday and I remember hearing on Saturday morning that we got beat by something called Chucky,” she tells CNN. “I didn’t even know what Chucky was. I asked my chef at the time, Art Smith, to make some macaroni and cheese.”

How much did Winfrey — who launched the OWN Network on January 1 — actually consume?

“I ate about 30 pounds worth,” she reveals. “I’m not kidding! It’s the only time in my life I was ever depressed. I recognized I was depressed because I’ve done enough shows [to know], ‘Oh, this is what those people must feel like.” SOURCE

HO. LEE. CRAP. That’s like eating a kindergartener! You know, a Kindergartener made entirely out of noodles and cheese sauce… You get the point, right? Right. Oprah basically ate a small child. Not that I’m implying anything… If you’ll excuse me, I have to go Oprah-proof the daycare down the street.

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OPRAH WINFREY MUST BE STOPPED!

December 14, 2010 9:26 AM by Jeremy Feist Leave a Comment Filed Under: Actors, Oprah Winfrey Tagged With: Oprah Winfrey

During the shooting of her show down in Australia, Oprah Winfrey decided to have Hugh Jackman perform a stunt on a zipline because, really, what’s better than a sexy man on a zipline? Absolutely nothing, that’s what. Anyway, there was a slight problem with the stunt and Hugh ended up taking a lighting rig to his beautiful, beautiful face.

Zooming onto the stage on a zip-line, Hugh hit the brakes too late, crashed into a lighting rig and injured his right eye. Oprah broke filming so paramedics could check him out — and he then continued the segment with a bandage under his eye. SEE THE VIDEO

What kinda fuckery is this? Hugh? Injured? Under Oprah’s watch? SHE MUST BE STOPPED BEFORE SHE DESTROYS MORE OF THE WORLD’S SEXINESS. Quick, someone grab Ryan Reynolds, Daniel Craig and Dwayne Johnson and keep them in hiding until we can subdue the mighty Oprah!

PHOTO | TOO FAB

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You can all kiss Stewart/Colbert ’12 goodbye!

September 22, 2010 10:28 AM by Jeremy Feist Leave a Comment Filed Under: Oprah Winfrey, People Tagged With: Oprah Winfrey

So Jon Stewart was on Oprah yesterday and … Oh, I’m sorry, could you all give me a minute? My brain just exploded and it seems to have gotten everywhere. Let me just … Okay, we’re good. Anyway, Jon Stewart was on Oprah to talk about his new book, when he revealed that he will never run for President. Ever. Awwww, now what am I going to do with all these Stewart/Colbert ’12 bumper stickers?

“I believe Oprah Winfrey just said out loud ‘this is one of my ‘favorite thiiiiiiings!’” Stewart mocked. “Eat that Franzen!” But Stewart really is serious about promoting his new book – He also brought a clip showing his surprise lecture at an NYU media class, in which he gave every person a copy. Later, Oprah moved on to the big stuff, asking Stewart if he’d ever run for public office, which he adamantly denied. “I make jokes,” Stewart said. “I don’t solve problems.” SOURCE

On the plus side, this means that we won’t have to worry about The Daily Show going off the air anytime soon. On the downside, if yesterday’s failed repeal of DADT is any indication, we will have to suffer through an endless amount of political hackjobs who couldn’t so much as take a shit without filing a motion for it.

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legalbytes: oprah goes to trial

March 19, 2010 7:44 AM by Russell Wetanson Leave a Comment Filed Under: LegalBytes, Oprah Winfrey Tagged With: Oprah Winfrey

This week in pop culture and law is dedicated to Oprah Winfrey. In a 126-page decision, a Pennsylvania judge refused to dismiss a defamation case against her. The nerve of a judge not to give O her wishes, right? Well, now it’s up to a jury to decide the case filed by Larato Mzamane, the former headmistress of O’s South Africa-based Leadership Academy of Girls. Mzamane ran O’s school when allegations of abuse surfaced, and O publicly said that she had “lost confidence in (Mzamane’s) ability to run this school. And therefore, she will not be returning to this school.” As early as March 29, a jury will begin deciding whether O has to pay Mzamane six-figure damages for this statement. That is, if they can concentrate on anything other than the fact that they have front row seats to seeing Oprah in court. Have a good weekend, Popbytes peeps. Remember, don’t drink and drive. Oprah wouldn’t approve, and neither do I.

† Follow Russell on Twitter (@Popsquire)

† Check out Russell’s new column for The Hollywood Reporter

† Watch Russell discussing the Oprah case on HLN

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oprah winfrey tells it like it is …

September 3, 2009 8:16 PM by Michael Knudsen 3 Comments Filed Under: Oprah Winfrey Tagged With: Oprah Winfrey

good evening! although i only watched a few minutes of loser chris brown on larry king last night – i saw enough to know he just needs to shut the fuck up – i don’t believe anything he says – especially with that dumb ass bow tie he was sporting – ugh! to be honest i’m totally sick of the whole situation – and i bet oprah winfrey is too – people magazine asked mr. brown what he thought about ms. winfrey’s show on domestic abuse (which of course showed a lot of sympathy for his former girlfriend rihanna) read what he said below – then TMZ called up oprah and they got a statement back that tells it like it is – putting chris in his place! (her statement is below as well!) as far as i’m concerned – enough has been said on the whole disturbing situation … everyone needs to move on! although there were rumors today flying around the web that ms. fenty is still pining away over her abusive ex-boyfriend … if she gets back together with him – i have zero respect for her! she’s incredibly gorgeous and super talented – she can do so much better than someone who laid his hands on her – making her look like this! popbytes over & out for now … xoxo

CHRIS BROWN: “I commend Oprah on being like, ‘This is a problem,’ but it was a slap in my face. I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could have been more helpful, like, ‘Okay, I’m going to help both of these people out.’”

OPRAH WINFREY’S REP: “Oprah is very appreciative that Chris Brown performed at her school but she takes domestic abuse very seriously. She hopes he gets the counseling he needs.”