When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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A couple months back, we posted the video for St. Vincent‘s Cruel, which was totally amazing. Well, just to show you that she still has some fire under the hood, here’s her brand new music video for Cheerleader, which is amazing and filled with all kinds of spookiness.
As some of you might remember, Karl Lagerfeld recently dropped his dainty little pansy shade on Adele by saying that she was “too fat”, because God forbid anyone should ever have to design clothes for anybody other than a human coat-hanger. Anyway, it seems that Karl has decided to try and clarify his statement, while Adele told him in no uncertain terms which parts of her ass he could kiss. From MTV:
Speaking once again to Metro, Lagerfeld issued a statement about his previous comments. “I’d like to say to Adele that I am your biggest admirer. Sometimes when you take a sentence out of the article, it changes the meaning of the thought. What I said was in relation to Lana Del Rey and the sentence has since been taken out of context from how it was originally published,” he said. “I actually prefer Adele, she is my favorite singer and I am a great admirer of her. I lost over 30 kilos over 10 years ago and have kept it off. I know how it feels when the press is mean to you in regards to your appearance. Adele is a beautiful girl. She is the best. And I can’t wait for her next CD.”
Regardless of what Lagerfeld thinks about the Grammy-nominated pop star, in a new interview with People magazine, Adele opens up about her appearance. “I’ve never wanted to look like models on the cover of magazines. I represent the majority of women and I’m very proud of that,” she said, according to the U.K. edition of Marie Claire.
All right, here’s the thing about anorexic, pin-thin models: designers do not design clothes for skinny women because they believe this is a healthy weight or the ideal standard of beauty. They do it because women with no curves to their body make the dresses look better because there’s nothing to take away from the way it hangs. So it really comes down to the idea that they’re designing size zero dresses for the sake of the dresses themselves, rather than the model. Weird how that works. So I really don’t think Karl can accurately say who is and isn’t too fat.
Despite some early reports suggesting that their divorce might go ugly, it’s starting to look more and more like Katy Perry and Russell Brand might be separating on good terms. Not only is Russell refusing to gold-dig his ex-wife’s money, but Katy even went ahead and signed her divorce with a smiley face. Awww, kids these days … Us Weekly reports:
Brand will not be receiving spousal support from Perry, despite not having a pre-nuptial agreement. The Firework singer is worth an estimated $70 million, while Brand is valued at $20 million.The former couple owned four properties in California, New York and London, totaling $15 million. The exes also have three cats: Her Kitty Purry, his Morrissey and, Perry once told Us, “together we got Krusty!” Perry signed the court documents with a happy face next to her name — a sure sign that she’s ready to put her 14-month marriage behind her.
Well, more than anything I’m just happy to see people agree that it’s for the best if they end things on amicable terms, rather than turning it into one big bitch-fest of bitchiness. You know when two people split up and they decided to turn it into a battlefield and force their friends to pick sides? Yeah, do the exact opposite of that.
So last week it was announced that Simon Cowell fired everyone from The X Factor for either being incompetent or British. Now that the customary week has passed, it’s time for Nicole Scherzinger to talk about how she got canned for essentially being completely useless. The Huffington Post reports:
“I loved being a part of my ‘X Factor’ family,” Scherzinger said. “Nothing could obviously prepare me for everything I had to go through, all the emotions and stuff, but I have no regrets.” Mike Darnell, Fox’s president of alternative entertainment, told EW that the first season of “The X Factor” was an “audition act.” With Abdul, Scherzinger and Jones out, that leaves Reid and Cowell the last men standing, but on-air talent won’t be the only changes. “There definitely will be lots of different changes in the show,” Darnell said.
And by “I have no regrets” she means “I probably should not have listened to Paula and actually done my job, but I didn’t, so now America thinks I crushed the dreams of a little girl in front of millions of people.” On the plus side, Nicole can finally go back to her previous job of desperately trying to make her solo career happen, which just seems futile at this point.
Adele sat down with Anderson Cooper for her first interview since she went in for throat surgery late last year, and surprise! She still sounds really good! Admittedly, her voice is a touch different than when we last heard her speak, but your voice would be a little weird too if doctors shoved a laser down your throat and zapped tumors out of it. Turns out, it’s kind of uncomfortable. This coming weekend make sure to catch her performing live at the Grammys, where she’s bound to score a number of wins for her album 21.
So despite the fact that Katy Perry and Russell Brand‘s marriage ended after only 14 months, and was due in large part to the fact that Katy’s parents think Lucky the Leprechaun is the devil and that he can only be defeated by random meaningless jibber-jabber, it seems that the whole divorce thing might be totally amicable after all, with Russell refusing to take any of Katy’s money. Wow, did a Hollywood divorce just end without either party trying to destroy the other with reality TV or racism allegations? SHOCKED. SHOCKED I SAY. TMZ reports:
Informed sources tell TMZ … Russell and Katy did NOT have a prenup. As a result, everything they earned during their 14-month marriage is community property — which means they’re each entitled to 50% of the pot. Katy made $44 million between May, 2010 and May, 2011 — according to Forbes. The couple married in October, 2010, so Russell could have scored a fortune if he exercised his community property rights. But here’s the deal. As one source put it, “This divorce is as amicable as it gets, and Russell was a mensch (Yiddish for a good person).” He doesn’t want Katy’s money. He’s happy to walk away with the money he earned — which is far less than what Katy raked in.
Well, I really have to hand it to the two of them for not turning this into one huge ugly battle. I know a lot of people who seem to think that breakups are some sort of contact sport and that the winner is the one who manages to be the bigger dick to the other, so seeing someone not try and screw someone else over for millions of dollars actually makes me hopeful for humanity. At least until I write about Kim Kardashian‘s divorce next and that tiny ember is snuffed out faster than you can say “piss-soaked whore.”
Those words just happened. By now, it shouldn’t surprise you that Ke$ha is kind of a grimy bitch and you probably shouldn’t touch her without rubber gloves first because … yick. Just yick. So of course, it’s only understandable that she would have someone on standby to dance around in a giant penis costume for her amusement because nowadays, pop singers must be weird at all times since everyone knows the most important part of music is the visuals. DigitalSpy reports:
The TiK ToK singer told Glamour that she makes the request of her employee when she needs cheering up. “I’m just very amused by 5-year-old humor,” she said. “Don’t get me wrong: I do destroy men on a weekly basis. It’s like a hobby. I’m like a praying mantis. They f**k me, and then I eat them. But who isn’t amused by a giant, dancing penis? Sometimes when I’m sad, I make my assistant put on the penis outfit (pictured below) and bounce around my house.”
Yes yes yes, I think everyone loves a giant cock, except for lesbians because different strokes, people. That being said, what good is a giant cock if all it’s going to do is dance for you? Giant cocks are awesome, and dancing is awesome, but not everything works like a peanut butter cup: two great tastes aren’t necessarily going to taste great together. Sometimes the combination is just sort of useless.
In case you haven’t noticed it, Christina Aguilera is a bit chubby, which is sort of like saying Kim Kardashian is a bit of a famewhore. Anyway, none of this would be a problem if it weren’t for the fact that Xtina is demanding that the crew of The Voice cater to her every whim in order to convince people that she’s not that chubby. Which is probably too little, too late. The National Enquirer reports:
“Christina holds up production with her constant demands, saying, ‘Don’t make me look fat’ or ‘Don’t show my butt,’ ” the insider revealed. “She’s insisted the cameramen only shoot her at flattering angles, forcing a few segments to be reshot. She also demands that the stylists bring her the latest slimming fashions, and she’s always ordering the makeup artists to make her face look thinner.”
“Blake and Cee Lo get annoyed at Christina’s silly requests, but Adam really can’t stand it,” explained the insider. “He’s the first one to say that she’s unprofessional and producers shouldn’t reshoot takes just because she doesn’t like how she looks. But Christina doesn’t care what anyone, especially skinny little Adam, thinks. “She just rolls her eyes at him and tries to make sure she looks good for the cameras.”
What the hell is Christina worried about anyway? She’s sitting behind a chair at all times anyway, and people can very rarely actually see much of her from the boobs down, so honestly, just slap her in some spanx, throw a black dress on her and get her out there, she’ll look perfectly fine.
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