So if you haven’t been on the web for the past few days, you might not yet be familiar with Kate Upton or her boobies. Well, Kate is apparently some sort of model who tweeted her way into wearing a way too tiny bikini on the cover of Sports Illustrated‘s 2012 annual Swimsuit Issue, or as it’s known to straight men, “The Issue I Can Jack It To”. Anyway, despite having big awesome boobs and a loyal Twitter following, not everyone is sold on her. Did we mention she has boobs? Because she has big ol’ boobs. Titties Knockers Melons. Via the New York Times:

Those dubious about Ms. Upton’s crossover potential, or of any career driven toward the stony heart of fashion from the do-it-yourself fringes of the blogosphere, include Sophia Neophitou, editor of the English style bible 10 and a creative force behind the casting of the Victoria’s Secret shows. “We would never use” Ms. Upton for a Victoria’s Secret show, Ms. Neophitou said by telephone last week from London. And, while Ms. Upton has, in fact, modeled on occasion for the company’s catalog, her look, said Ms. Neophitou, is “too obvious” to be featured in what has become the most widely viewed runway show in the world. “She’s like a Page 3 girl,” Ms. Neophitou said, referring to the scantily clad voluptuous women featured in The Sun, a London tabloid. “She’s like a footballer’s wife, with the too-blond hair and that kind of face that anyone with enough money can go out and buy.”

Ummm … seriously bitch? You’re worried that someone might be too trashy to model for Victoria’s Secret? You realize the only people who pay attention to their ads are straight men with suspiciously deep pockets, right? If you went into a Victoria’s Secret store with a blacklight, the resulting glow would blind you.