After spending the past few years releasing album after album and single after single and touring non-stop, Lady Gaga has finally decided to take a little break and shut herself off from the world (until her Born This Way Ball Tour kicks off on April 27th in Seoul, South Korea). So good news! We can finally stop hearing Lady Gaga talk about how she IS the theatre. Yeah, you ARE the theatre. Feel free to trot out that gem at the Tonys, see how well that holds up. Us Weekly reports:

“Other than this interview, Oprah, I do not intend to speak to anyone for a very long time,” the pop superstar explains. “The latest thing I do is I don’t read a damn thing,” she adds about limiting her media intake. “No press, no television, if my mom calls and says, ‘Did you hear about?’ I don’t want to know nothing about anything that is going on in relation to music. I shut it all off.”

Yes, please, for the love of God, take a break. I want to like Gaga, I really do. Because at least she has talent and she does great work for equal rights. But holy crap, is she ever irritating at times. I really want to just like her for her, but every time she goes on some pretentious rant about art, I just want to point out that wearing a lobster on your head doesn’t accomplish much.

Despite the fact that Lady Gaga thinks she’s 24/7 art, refuses to wear normal clothes and performs the kind of constant theatrics that would scar most kids for life, she tells Oprah Winfrey in a new interview (airing Sunday, March 18th on OWN) that she really wants kids at some point. Specifically, enough kids to field a soccer team. People reports:

“Yeah, yeah, I do,” a (relatively) conservatively dressed Gaga told the talk show host, 58, when asked if she was serious about wanting a large family. “I mean I’m being superfluous [about the soccer team], but I don’t want to have one [child], I want a few.” Gaga adds that she also wants a husband. Making a gesture to indicate a baby bump, the singer tells Winfrey, “I want to experience that.” But don’t expect her to settle down anytime soon. Gaga wants a family – just “not yet,” she says with a smile.

Look, I have no doubt that, if Gaga were to settle down and cut down on the whole “I’m living art!” crap, she would be a good mother. Everyone has the potential to be a good parent if they actually attain the maturity, both physical and emotional, to learn to put someone ahead of themselves. That being said, right now, she’s an art installation. As beautiful as the Mona Lisa is, I wouldn’t let it raise a child. When Gaga’s ready to settle down and be a human being instead of performance art, I say more power to her, she can pop as many babies out as she wants.