Beyoncé still doesn’t want to be friends with Kim Kardashian!

Kim Kardashian and Beyonce

I guess technically, this isn't considered news since Beyoncé has always hated being around Kim Kardashian and that hasn't changed in the slightest, but still, it's just good to hear. Ya know? Anyway, according to RadarOnline, Beyoncé still refuses to be apart of Kim's famewhorin' game after the two of them ran into each other the other day ... An eyewitness to the ladies’ awkward encounter at Dr. Howard Lancer’s Beverly Hills office MORE

Kim Kardashian labeled ‘Political Poison’

Kim Kardashian

We try to stay clear of politics, mostly because we don't want the vitriolic left v. right debate to get in the way of my precious dick jokes. But if there's one thing that people from both sides of the debate can agree upon, it's that Kim Kardashian is terrible. And according to RadarOnline, it's gotten to the point where Kim has been labeled 'political poison' and gets barely a fraction of a percentage of the respect people have for pop star MORE

Kim and Kanye’s wedding already has a slight hitch?

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Hey, remember Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's reality TV special that also doubles as their wedding? Well, there's just one slight hiccup in their filming / wedding plans: According to RadarOnline, if you want to get married for a reality TV show in France you have to have been living there for at least 40 days prior. Dammit, won't somebody think about the ratings? Radar reviewed the law with the French Embassy in Washington D.C. whom advised: MORE

Mariah Carey doesn’t know who Kim Kardashian is?

Mariah Carey

Last week, Nick Cannon revealed to the world that he banged Kim Kardashian at some point in his life, which isn't surprising in the least because he's a rapper. That's like the Open Sesame of Kim's noonie-hole. You'd figure that his wife Mariah Carey would be royally pissed about that one, except it turns out she doesn't even know who Kim is. To which I say, what magical alternate reality do you live in, and can you please take me with you? Us MORE

Elephants never forget … to attack Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian

So apparently, Kim Kardashian and her swarm of off-shoots are off on a trip through Thailand or something like that to film new episodes for their show. So of course, their first instinct is going to be to take selfies of themselves with anything that even remotely has to do with Thailand, including elephants! Except even elephants know a sh!tty attention whore when they see one, and when Kim tried to get a selfie with one, it apparently attacked MORE

Kim Kardashian is bad at charity!

Kim Kardashian

Last year, it was revealed that Kim Kardashian's Ebay charity auction for the Phillipines was really more like Kim making a gawddamn bank off stupid people and then throwing a couple coins to the less fortunate. This probably shouldn't have been a surprise, since Kim has built a career of being a greedy ass-blister, but everyone still read her the riot-act over it. It also prompted people to take a look at Kim Kardashian's "charity work", and MORE

Kim Kardashian’s baby girl knows why her mom is famous

Kanye West, Kim Kardashian and North West

Hey, remember how Kim Kardashian 'leaked' a sex tape onto the market to promote her show, and then she spent the rest of her career pretending that it was a 'leak' and that Ray J never peed on her? Well, apparently even North West is aware of Kim's sex tape beginnings, because she peed on daddy Kanye West during their Vogue cover shoot. Good callback, kid! Us Weekly reports... One thing the E! star didn't know for sure herself was whether said MORE

Kim Kardashian wants Kris Jenner’s clothes when she dies

Kris Jenner

If you haven't read Vogue's interview / ass-kissing of Kim Kardashian yet, don't. Just don't. Unless you want to read someone unironically praise Kris Jenner's "apricot" skin. Personally, I'd say it's more along the lines of "corpse rot grey", but that works too. Anyway, there is one passage that's worth a look: the one where Kim basically admits that waits for Kris to die so that she and her sisters could steal all of her worldly possessions. MORE

Anna Wintour … what have you done?!

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West / Vogue Magazine

Just ... I don't even know anymore, man. I just don't know. Anna Wintour. You were the chosen one! YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE! Why did you end up putting Kim Kardashian and Kanye West on the cover of Vogue magazine (April 2014)? Ugh! DISAPPOINTMENT! Here's the behind-the-scenes video of Kimye's cover shoot. I just can't with this travesty. I have to go give my dressform a viking's funeral. MORE

Beyoncé thinks Kim Kardashian’s wedding will be tacky

Kanye West, Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Kim Kardashian

Anytime Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian is around each other (which isn't often, so that should probably tell you something), Kim tends to look like an overactive little girl around a basket of puppies while Bey looks like she's being forced at gunpoint to interact with someone covered in leeches. The love isn't exactly requited. Anyway, Kim is just tickled pink that Beyoncé will attend her and Kanye West's wedding / TV special, but according to MORE

Kim Kardashian has become her mother

Kim Kardashian

It's been a while since Kim Kardashian pulled out the selfie card for the sake of attention, mostly because the last time she did it, everyone called her out on photoshopping herself to look thinner. So of course, here's Kim posing in one of her younger sisters' swimsuits, since she's slowly becoming less famous while her sisters are getting more and more famous. Which brings me to my main thesis: Kim has officially turned into Kris Jenner. Think MORE

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got a prenup!

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

Proving that deep down, there's still at least some logic lurking in the collective hivemind of the beast known as Kimye (aka Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in case you're living under a rock), America's most easily mockable couple has signed a prenup before taking the plunge. To be fair, when you sing an entire song about the importance of signing prenuptial agreements to protect your assets, you'd look like an idiot if you didn't. RadarOnline MORE

Kanye & Kris Jenner are in a battle for Kim Kardashian’s soul

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

Well, kind of. Apparently, Kanye West is pretty ticked off over what happened to Kim Kardashian when she ... 'accompanied' (let's call it that) that rich old dude to the Vienna Opera Ball. So much so that he's demanded that Kim no longer make 'paid appearances' (let's call it that.) But of course Kris Jenner is pissed because she makes money whenever Kim makes a paid appearance, and as her 'mother' / 'manager' (let's call it that) she's trying to MORE

Billionaire Richard Lugner: “Kim Kardashian is a b*tch!”

Kim Kardashian and Richard Lugner

Last week, Kim Kardashian got $500,000 to attend the Vienna Opera Ball with crazy rich man Richard Lugner, a guy who previously gave that honor to Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Draw your own conclusions here. Anyway, Kim ended up leaving after some racist in blackface ended up harassing her, but apparently Lugner isn't too torn up over it because he thinks Kim is a bitch. Join the club honey. We meet on Wednesdays. RadarOnline reports MORE