That Tequila bitch is a ‘Ho Chi Minh whore’

It's no secret that we're not the biggest fans of That Tequila Bitch here at Popbytes. And by that I mean I regularly ask her to go as far away from society as humanely possible so that we never have to see her fugly little troll-slut face ever again. Which is why it fills me with glee that Nick over at Celebslam called the cock-mongling little prostitute a 'Cheap Saigon Whore', and when she asked for apology, called her a 'Ho Chi Minh Whore'. MORE

Even Costa Rica doesn’t want him …

Welcome to the morning after everyone! I'm still nursing a hangover, and pretty much all of today's stories are from the MTV VMAs from last night, so let's all laugh at Flesh-Colored Pedo-Beard because he was arrested in Costa Rica for felony firearms possession and was effectively banned from the country. Are you kidding me? It's that easy to get rid of that guy? Hmmm ... As we told you earlier, Pratt told us he was busted in Costa Rica for MORE

Heaven help us all: Speidi is still together!

Good news for those of you who like morally bankrupt, reprehensible famewhores: Speidi might be getting back together! I mean, technically they were never broken up to begin with, because the fake divorce they got for their fake marriage was fakedy fake fake fake, but still, Flesh-Coloured Pedo-Beard is working hard to win back Heidi Montag the only way he knows how: with a press release. In an email to the Associated Press, Spencer Pratt, 27, MORE

Khloe is gonna have to turn a lot of tricks!

Ladies and gentlemen, break out your tiniest violins: Khloé Kardashian lost her $850,000 engagement ring from Lamar Odom. You know; the one she got for her fake marriage she staged for her fake reality show? Yeah, that one. Yeah, I feel just soooooo fucking sorry for her too. On the plus side, looks like Lamar gets anal tonight! As she rifles through her jewelry box, her older sis Kim tries to calm her down. "It's got to be here somewhere!" Kim, MORE

Speidi isn’t selling that sex tape anymore

Well, looks like after Vivid Video called them on their bluff, Heidi Montag and Flesh-Coloured Pedo-Beard have backed away from selling the sex tape that never existed ... Oh, wait, I'm sorry, it says here that Heidi 'pulled the kill switch' on it, which she could have done weeks ago if it weren't for the fact that she's a complete famewhore and a colossal fucking dumb ass. Sources close to the couple tell us [Name Redacted]'s rep shot a letter MORE

Speidi’s sex tape isn’t real; The world isn’t ending!

Who fucking called it? Anyway, it looks like Vivid Video is calling Flesh-Coloured Pedo-Beard on is bluff by demanding he show a preview of the supposed sex tapes if he wants his money. The only problem? He's not giving them any sneak peeks. Granted, Karissa Shannon has said that there was a sex tape, but considering that's the only reason you know her name, of course she's saying there's a sex tape. Steven Hirsch tells TMZ he isn't going to down MORE

Snooki’s boyfriend just got denied!

Hey, remember how Snooki's new famewhoring Guido boyfriend Jeff Miranda tried to propose to her on the cover of Trashy Hoes Quarterly so that he could steal her leprechaun gold with his penis? Well, as you might expect, Snooki pretty much cock-blocked him by turning him down in front of, like, the entire goddamn world. Ha ha, no Lucky Charms for you, bitch! Snooki's boyfriend, Jeff Miranda, proposed on the cover of Steppin' Out magazine that hit MORE

Ah goddammit!!!

No. Fuck and no. To all of this. Karissa Shannon, one of the twins whose only claim to fame is banging a geriatric, has come out saying that there is a sex tape between her and Heidi Montag that was stolen by Flesh-Coloured Pedo-Beard. And then her evil twin showed up at her wedding to tell her she had amnesia! (*Cue dramatic organ music*) "There is a sex tape of me and Heidi," she told Radaronline.com. ""It's just me and Heidi, that's it." MORE

Heidi Montag wants her old boobies back!

Girls, let this be a lesson to you all: Heidi Montag is desperate to reclaim her position as the head of the slightly-ittier-bitty-tittie-committee, due to severe back pain, ineffectual pain killers, and (I'm assuming here) because she looks like what would happen if Barbie became sentient and started dating a muppet. Just one week after the untimely death of her plastic surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, Heidi Montag sat down exclusively with Life & Style MORE

Jenna Jameson to Heidi Montag: *BITCHSLAP!*

Because it's not news when I say it multiple goddamn times, Jenna Jameson, the woman with the most famous vagina in the world, took to Twitter to call Heidi Montag, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Danielle Staub and Kendra Wilkinson a bunch of lying whores for pretending that their sex tapes oopsy-accidentally made it to the point of commercial distribution. Told ya so. "Why do people do porno tapes, sell them, make boatloads of money, then LIE MORE

Help control the dumb ass population; fix your idiots

Because of fucking course they have one, Flesh-Coloured Pedo-Beard is shopping around a sex tape featuring his inflata-wife, Heidi Montag and one of the twins that was hob-knobbing Hugh Hefner's impotent, geriatric dong. Thankfully, they're all handling this in the most dignified of ways... "Promises you the Citizen Kane of sex tapes. Honestly, Orson Wells makes a guest appearance," Spencer Pratt tweeted over the weekend. "Recommends you wait for MORE

Six months later, it’s still being sold? Who buys this?!

Here's a bit of public relations 'synergy' for you - Kim Kardashian is still hawking her signature scent - which was unveiled back in February - I seriously can't believe people actually buy this crap - yet last time around her pictures were taken at Sephora - now she's at Perfumania (which I think of as the place where fragrances get laid to rest with discount prices but I could be wrong?) and today just happens to be the 5th season premiere of MORE

Cry Me A River: Tila Tequila and her injuries

A very beat up (a few band-aids?! oh please) Tila Tequila goes shopping (with what money?) on Robertson Boulevard in Hollywood, CA on August 19, 2010 where the pint sized attention seeker didn't let her recent Insane Clown Posse related injuries (people threw shit at her! for reals) prevent her from talking to the cameras. (of course it didn't!) PHOTOS | FAME PICTURES MORE

Joe Francis is threatening to sue someone. (Again.)

As someone who performs in gay porn for a living, I literally cringe every time someone brings up Joe Francis. Cringe. Case in point: Mr. Girls Gone Wild is threatening to sue Jerry O'Connell and Weinstein Co. over O'Connell's character in Piranha 3D, which is a parody of Francis himself. Honestly? I'll just let Joe dig his own grave on this one. He tells The Hollywood Reporter, "I believe Mr. O'Connell may lose more than his penis if he and the MORE