Never change, Farrah Abraham. Never change.

Farrah Abraham

Fresh off the spectacular failure that was her frozen greek yogurt restaurant -- which failed because Fox News hacked her website you guys -- Farrah Abraham is barrelling onward into the future with plans to turn her erotic novels into movies! Actual movies, starring actual Academy Award winners because I'm sure esteemed actresses the world 'round are lining up to play the screaming entitled beast from Teen Mom. I hear Meryl Streep is already MORE

LeAnn Rimes’ reality show is doing super well, you guys

LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian

Hey, remember that reality TV show LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian were making? The one where they were kind of throwing actual reality out the window and casting actors to play Eddie's kids? Well, some version of that idea has successfully made it onto the air, and no one bothered watching it because why bother when there are shows about naked people going on blind dates? It's like being asked if you'd rather go to McDonald's or eat a pound of MORE

Farrah Abraham opens a yogurt restaurant, hilarity ensues

Farrah Abraham

When we last left Farrah Abraham ... I don't know. I think she was writing a book maybe? Well, 'writing.' Whatever, point is it was probably a dismal failure. But not one to let the haters blow her away or whatever, she decided to open a restaurant that serves food filled with greek yogurt. You know, because she has so much culinary experience from her years working in non-food related fields. Farrah's hilarious attempt at trying to make her MORE

Hamptons authorities want you to snitch on the Kardashians!

The Kardashians

The Kardashians are apparently summering in the Hamptons right now, which I'm guessing is because they saw a few episodes of Revenge and thought, "Ooh! Pretty rich people trying to murder each other? Sign us up!" So they packed up, rented a nice place there, and got to work arguing and backstabbing for their terrible show. Except it turns out no one in the Hamptons wants them there, and are now being encouraged to rat them out if they ever see MORE

Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino: Arrested at a tanning salon!

Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino

Pull up a chair kids, and grandpappy Feist will tell y'all about a magical time long, long ago. A time when Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino was a thing. I remember it like it was yesterday ... the year was 2009. Avatar was the biggest movie of the year, the iPhone 3S had just been released, and some garbage f*ckin' song by The Black Eyed Peas was vomitin' outta any and every speaker imaginable. It was a dark time, one that could only be made MORE

Farrah Abraham’s new book seems promising

Farrah Abraham

When we last left Farrah Abraham ... honestly, I can't remember what she was doing last time she did anything noteworthy. It probably involved her lying though. Or someone seeing through her lies because she's somehow too stupid to lie even remotely well. Poor dumb dumb. Anyway, now Farrah Abraham has a book coming out, and what do you know, she's lying again and the person interviewing her had absolutely no problem immediately poking a hole in MORE

Kris Jenner’s Instagram got hacked

Kris Jenner

If there are two things that we know about Kris Jenner, it's that she will say or do anything for the sake of attention, and that she is evil. Evil, evil, evil. So of course, this morning she reported that her Instagram got hacked, which earned her attention, which in turn gave her the energy needed to reign over the Kingdom of the Damned for another 666 years. The hacked Instagram message, via TMZ ... So this happened today! Shout out to all MORE

Vivid Video is trying to stop Farrah Abraham’s erotic fiction

Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom

In case you haven't heard by now, Farrah Abraham is launching a series of erotic novels, which will double as the English language's tombstone. Seriously, I don't think I've ever met anyone who has misunderstood the concept of eroticism or literature the way Farrah does, and yet ... here we are. Anyway, Vivid Video has decided to step in and shield the world from the awfulness that is Farrah's written word by threatening her with legal action if MORE

Ugh: Farrah Abraham is ‘writing’ erotic fiction

Farrah Abraham

If there are two things I know about Farrah Abraham, is that she writes like she's trying to get revenge on the English language for making a fool of her, and that she has all the raw sex appeal of a colovaginal fistula. (Google that if you dare.) But she's famous, so she's going to get a book deal so that can (ghost)write erotic fiction. Oh gosh, just reading those words is enough to make my genitals scream forever. HollywoodLife reports MORE

Steve Hirsch vows to return Kris Jenner’s sex tape (if it exists)

Kris Jenner

So far, we've spent the better part of a week discussing Kris Jenner's sex tape, which by the looks of it doesn't actually exist. For all we know, this was just another way for Kris to drum up publicity for all the nothing she does, and if that's the case, congratulations. You made us talk about how much we dislike you for another week. Mission accomplished, honey-buns. Anyway, now Vivid Video's head honcho Steve Hirsch is swearing that if such a MORE

Kris Jenner is thinking about posing for Playboy

Kris Jenner

Lately there's been a lot of talk about Kris Jenner having a fake sex tape, because apparently there's a market for cat demons in their late 50's. Who knew? Anyway, I initially wrote it off because there was no way Kris would make a sex tape unless she had a new show to pimp, but now it turns out Kris might be posing for Playboy. Sooooooo, maybe she a new show coming out? Movie? The 58-year-old mum of six, who let's face it, looks pretty foxy MORE

So we’re still pretending Kris Jenner’s sex tape exists?

Kris Jenner

Earlier this week, news got out that Kris Jenner was allegedly being extorted over a 'sex tape.' Except that Kris claimed the tape didn't exist, and I kind of believe her because anyone who saw such a tape would have died in seven days. Now RadarOnline released an interview with the guy who claims to have the tape, and by the sound of it, he doesn't exactly have the clearest endgame in mind here ... “She knew about this sex tape and did not MORE

Khloe Kardashian vs. Joan Rivers … over Kim’s sex tape!

Ray J and Joan Rivers

Considering the fact that the Kardashians wouldn't be jacksh!t to anyone if it hadn't been for Ray J peeing on Kim Kardashian, you'd figure they'd embrace it every chance they get. And yet they don't because these people honest to gawd think they're -- pfft, ha ha ha -- talented! Oh, oh, that's funny, tell another one! Anyway, Joan Rivers made a video mocking Kim's sex tape, and now Khloe Kardashian is mad at her and cancelled an appearance she MORE

Kris Jenner: Threatened with a sex tape that doesn’t exist!

Kris Jenner

So, crazy news story here, but apparently Kris Jenner is beefing up her security detail after someone started threatening her. Here's the weird part though: He's threatening her with a sex tape that doesn't exist. And Kris would know which sex tapes do and do not exist because when Kim Kardashian was first trying to get famous, Kris was the one who fil- I mean, she is a very responsible adult who stays on top of things like this. RadarOnline MORE