When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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Now that Courtney Stodden has turned eighteen, thus upgrading her from "creepy, underage sex-troll" to "creepy, legal sex-troll", it's time for her to fulfill her destiny by appearing in porn ... oh, wait, she's turning down porn? Really? What, does she think there's a role in a mainstream movie for her? She has the acting range of a Furby with the batteries taken out. Just ... guh. Whatever. Anyway, she is willing to do Playboy magazine however, MORE
A little about teen bride / famewhore Courtney Stodden: she looks like a partially deflated blow-up doll someone left on a stove, she married a guy (Doug Hutchison) in his fifties for attention, her idea of dirty talk makes her sound like Dr. Seuss after way too much ecstasy, and she turned eighteen this past week. Career-wise, where do you think she's going? Eeeeeeeeyup. Porn. TMZ reports ... Courtney Stodden just called in to TMZ Live ... MORE
You know, it seems like just yesterday that Courtney Stodden (teen bride of fifty-year-old Doug Hutchison) was assaulting our eyeballs with her weird, burn-victim-trying-to-be-sexy schtick that should have technically been illegal but somehow wasn't. Well Courtney's all grown up, she turns 18 today, so now all her poorly-executed attempts at sexiness are just creepy and gross, rather than being creepy, gross and immoral. Yay! And of course, she's MORE
If you walk into Burger King wearing a paper hat, you're going to get some orders. And conversely, if you're in your fifties and you get married to a minor, you probably shouldn't be surprised when someone calls you a child molester. You know, because you're married to a child. Except now Courtney Stodden's husband, Doug Hutchison, is getting huffy because Nik Richie called him a child molester, now it's causing strife on the set of VH1's Couples MORE
Normally, I'd say that if you're willing to appear on a VH1 celebreality TV show, you probably shouldn't be throwing stones since they put you up in a glass house. Except for this particular instance, because it's hilarious. According to TMZ, blogger Nik Richie (of TheDirty.com fame) said what we were all thinking by calling Courtney Stodden's husband, Doug Hutchison, a child molester while taping Couples Therapy. I have nothing to add to this MORE
Remember how a couple days ago, Courtney Stodden announced that she was going to be shooting for a reality television show, and everyone just sort of rolled their eyes and went, "Of course someone gave her a reality gig." Well, it turns out the show in question isn't just some vapid look into Courtney's life of being an underage trophy wife. She and husband Doug Hutchison are actually shooting for VH1's Couples Therapy. Somewhere out there, Greg MORE
It's been something like two months since Courtney Stodden has graced our blog with her "rillness", and to be honest, I just kind of assumed she was dead. That sounds super bad, I know, but ... have you seen her? She is the reason why we have to remind people not to eat the little packets of silica gel you find in boxes of electrical equipment. Anyway, it looks like Courtney has finally found her way to that hallowed respite for the brainless, MORE
Today is the start of a long weekend up here in Canada because of Victoria Day! Although it's not really a holiday, but we get an extra day to do nothing, so we just take it plus there's fireworks) so while we go get ready to celebrate practically nothing, I'm just going to go ahead and leave you with this new video of teen bride and famewhore extraordinaire Courtney Stodden pretending to be Hello Kitty, as interpreted by someone who has no idea MORE
Episode 1 in the continuous YouTube series of Courtney Stodden's Countdown to her 18th birthday -- Watch her as she deals with a sprained foot injury. 135 days and counting ... 0:00 - Just so you all know, everyone who laughs at my pain? Dead to me. You hear me? DEAD LIKE LINCOLN!!! 0:10 - So the whole premise of the show is that it's a countdown to the moment Courtney Stodden is legally doable, which adds a whole new layer of creepy MORE
Because there's really nothing funnier than stupid, no-talent famewhores being made fun of in front of millions of people, Gossip Girl decided to take a shot at Courtney Stodden during the show, basically saying that no one actually knows who she is, and the people who do find her about as sexy and likeable as a landmine. But of course, Courtney is dumb as hell and starved for attention, so all she heard was "blah blah blah Courtney Stodden MORE
All of a sudden, I get the feeling Khloé Kardashian may have been onto something ... anyway, for the newest spot, PETA has fallen back on that oh-so classic tactic of hiring the day's idiot flavor of the week to talk about things they have absolutely no understanding of. So here's Courtney Stodden talking about animal cruelty while holding a dog who looks like he'd rather kill himself than spend another minute with her. Because seriously, if I MORE
That's weird, I didn't know syphilis could roll. Anyway, because it's been, like, days since she payed the paparazzi to follow her around and take pictures of her while she staged (her words here, not mine) "sexy" photo-ops, Courtney Stodden decided to call up some photographers to watch her try and rollerskate through sand. Yeah, I know that's stupid, but it makes more sense when you realize her IQ is the same as her age. Which is 17. Courtney MORE
Despite the fact that I'm pretty sure it's illegal to post child pornography on the internet, Courtney Stodden has launched her own website in order to promote all the nothing she does. Oh, and did we mention she's selling autographed posters of herself in a bikini for $39.99? Yeah, you thought I was kidding about the child endangerment thing before, didn't you? Not so much, it turns out ... E! Online reports: That's right. Everybody's MORE
Because we will never get tired of watching Courtney Stodden try, and subsequently fail harder than anyone has ever failed, to be sexy, here's a story about how Courtney invited photographers to take pictures of her closet, which is full of clothes that would make the most tired, over-the-hill stripper shake her head and go "trashy fucking bitch". Oh, and she apparently thinks it's sexy to try and eat a shoe while giving her best "I died inside MORE
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