When culture pops, we wipe it up ...
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All of a sudden, I get the feeling Khloé Kardashian may have been onto something ... anyway, for the newest spot, PETA has fallen back on that oh-so classic tactic of hiring the day's idiot flavor of the week to talk about things they have absolutely no understanding of. So here's Courtney Stodden talking about animal cruelty while holding a dog who looks like he'd rather kill himself than spend another minute with her. Because seriously, if I MORE
That's weird, I didn't know syphilis could roll. Anyway, because it's been, like, days since she payed the paparazzi to follow her around and take pictures of her while she staged (her words here, not mine) "sexy" photo-ops, Courtney Stodden decided to call up some photographers to watch her try and rollerskate through sand. Yeah, I know that's stupid, but it makes more sense when you realize her IQ is the same as her age. Which is 17. Courtney MORE
Despite the fact that I'm pretty sure it's illegal to post child pornography on the internet, Courtney Stodden has launched her own website in order to promote all the nothing she does. Oh, and did we mention she's selling autographed posters of herself in a bikini for $39.99? Yeah, you thought I was kidding about the child endangerment thing before, didn't you? Not so much, it turns out ... E! Online reports: That's right. Everybody's MORE
Because we will never get tired of watching Courtney Stodden try, and subsequently fail harder than anyone has ever failed, to be sexy, here's a story about how Courtney invited photographers to take pictures of her closet, which is full of clothes that would make the most tired, over-the-hill stripper shake her head and go "trashy fucking bitch". Oh, and she apparently thinks it's sexy to try and eat a shoe while giving her best "I died inside MORE
Because there's something about Marilyn Monroe that stupid blonde whores just love -- they realize she died of a drug overdose, right? -- here's Courtney Stodden dressed as Marilyn, because if there was one thing the world was missing, it was a famewhore trying to emulate Monroe. The Daily Mail reports: Since entering the spotlight, she has become something of a blonde bombshell in her own right. So Courtney Stodden decided to channel her MORE
It feels like it's been forever since Courtney Stodden made a stupid underage whore of herself on this blog, but I guess that's because time flies when you're not being forced to look at teenage famewhores. Anyway, it's Valentine's Day, so of course Courtney called up the paparazzi to come take pictures of her sucking on her 51-year-old husband's noodle (my, that was poorly worded) because what good is having a private, intimate moment if you MORE
I should warn you right now: If you get a boner reading this post, you are a bad person. Anyway, Courtney Stodden, the world's prettiest chemical accident victim, got booked to do an ad for freecreditscore.com in which she plays a "sexy" mermaid. Hey, pedophiles need to check their credit scores too, okay? So let them go. RadarOnline reports: The ad starts with two buddies fishing for dinner and after catching one bite-size fish, they finally MORE
Once again, humanity fails to realize that just because you're really good at one thing (i.e. riding 51-year-old dick into infamy despite being a teenager) doesn't mean you'd be good at something completely different (i.e. singing). Anyway, logic has never stopped Courtney Stodden before, so why now? So now she's decided she's going to try and be a singer again, because what pop music was missing was a blonde, untalented whore filtering banal MORE
Because PETA is stupid (there's no other reason for the words I'm about to type), someone from the group apparently looked at Courtney Stodden and thought "Yes, let's make that teenage famewhore the moral voice of animal rights." Which, if I have to guess, is the reason why people club baby seals. Anyway, cut to Courtney doing a photo shoot for the organization, because sixteen-year-old girls who marry washed-up 51-year-old actors for reality TV MORE
This is totally hilarious, and it's nice to see teen bride Courtney Stodden (17) poking fun at herself, I find her oddly fascinating on so many levels! She appeared on The Donny Clay Show (a spoof talk show, with host Donny Clay being played by Seinfeld alum Jason Alexander) along with her husband Doug Hutchison (51), watch the video below which just premiered this morning on Funny Or Die. MORE
Oh joy. Now my life is truly complete. Huzzah. Huzzah for all. For those of you who have been slacking off on your daily eye-rolling exercises (hey, strong, healthy eyes are important!) Courtney Stodden tried to engage her fans in some "floor flashing" (see the picture below), which is clearly something seventeen-year-old girls need to know how to do nowadays, then after getting a tweet from Chris Crocker, offered to hook up with him for a MORE
Look, as much as I hate to give Courtney Stodden credit for anything other than giving pedophiles credibility here by acting like a hypersexualized minor, I'll give her this: Now that Tila Tequila and Speidi have faded into obscurity, she's really giving me some a-material with the whole "ridiculous staged impromptu photo shoot" thing, even if I am staring at pictures of a teenager who looks like dying cat in heat trying to present itself. MORE
Look, it's not often that we feel the need to preface one of our posts with an actual warning, but this is probably the single most disturbing thing I've ever posted in my two-and-a-half year career of gossip blogging. Still here? Well, Courtney Stodden decided to ring in the holiday season by dressing up in the skimpiest lingerie available and presenting herself to Santa Claus (hubby Doug Hutchison) the way a baboon in heat might present MORE
All right, we're going to play a little game now: Courtney Stodden sat down with Zap2It, because apparently some people will actually take the rantings of her syph-addled teenage brain seriously, and talked to them about her first kiss. I'm going to try and guess how it will go, and then we'll see what she says, and then you'll guess which version actually happened. Cool? Awesome. Here's my guess as to how Courtney Stodden's first kiss went: I MORE
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