Just who does Lisa Kudrow think she is?

TelevisionBytes with NineDaves

Most of us know Lisa Kudrow for her fearlessly funny roles in Friends, Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion, and The Opposite of Sex. But did you know that Lisa spends most of her time these days producing? In 2003, Kudrow and actor/writer Dan Bucatinsky formed their own production company, called Is or Isn’t Entertainment. Together, they’ve brought us some of the funniest moments captured on film, from HBO’s cult-hit The Comeback to the current web-series-turned-Showtime-smash Web Therapy.

Lisa Kudrow

But when things get serious, it’s safe to say you’ll find Lisa Kudrow behind the camera. That’s where she’s currently sitting, serving as Executive Producer on NBC’s acclaimed documentary series Who Do You Think You Are?, which follows celebrities as they trace their family tree. That search leads to surprising, emotional encounters, making for some truly compelling TV. The third season premieres tonight at 8 p.m., and features Martin Sheen, Marisa Tomei, Blair Underwood, Helen Hunt, Reba McEntire, Jerome Bettis, Rita Wilson, Edie Falco, Rob Lowe, Rashida Jones, Jason Sudeikis and Paula Deen. Not bad, eh?

Who Do You Think You Are?

On the heels of its premiere, we caught up with Kudrow last week to find out all the backstage scoop on the show, this season’s celebs, and if there’ll ever be a Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion sequel. Here’s what we learned:

Tracing your genealogy will change you

Kudrow knows this for a fact – she herself had her genealogy traced for an episode of Who Do You Think You Are? back in season one. For Kudrow, doing the show made a profound difference in her life – one that’s allowed her to better process difficult information. “You put yourself in the situation where you’re walking the same road they walked before they were all murdered, you know?” she explained to us.” “And at one point, they said ‘it’s right up here,’ and I actually stopped. My instinct was to stop and not take one more step. I usually like to avoid emotionally unpleasant things, and that’s not a great way to go through life. And so I think it was good to push on and to understand this is beyond just me having this experience. It’s a story that you’re sharing with other people.”

As you can imagine, processing all that change isn’t easy. And as Kudrow has found, almost all of the show’s celebrity participants are dealing with the same problems, post-filming. “When I talk to them, there’s a recurring theme which is, ‘that was a lot to process and I’m still processing it.’ It’s something that really lingers. And that’s usually what someone says afterwards.”

There’s a waiting list to get on the show

Celebs may have been apprehensive about the show when Kudrow and company were casting for season one. But once they saw it, that all changed. “We’ve got a waiting list now,” Kudrow explained. “They know that we’re not trying to catch them at something or make them look bad. We’re really interested in just telling these stories as experienced by their ancestors.”  That interest, apparently, goes a long way. Underwood stopped Lisa Kudrow at a party and asked her to be on the show. Marisa Tomei and Rob Lowe wanted in back in season one – it’s just taken that long to do their family research. But don’t expect to see any of her Friends co-stars yet. Kudrow says they’re all unavailable these days.

Martin Sheen comes from a long line of rebels

One of the celebrities we’ll follow this season is The West Wing’s Martin Sheen, who traces his Estevez-roots back to Spain to find a pretty interesting factoid about his father’s brother. Apparently, Uncle Estevez was the only sibling who didn’t leave the county, because he was caught up trying to put down Franco’s coup. “He was imprisoned many times for that,” Kudrow said. “Martin really related to that, you know. He’s an activist. He’s been in jail. He could relate to and be proud of families who sacrificed for their believes in social justice.”

Marisa Tomei’s great-grandfather wasn’t who she thought he was

We’re all told stories about our relatives that we take to be gospel. Tomei had always heard that her father was some big philanderer, who was killed by a jealous lover. Apparently, that didn’t happen! Reputation restored!

Lisa Kudrow hated that music video montage from season one too.

If you only caught a few episodes in season one, you saw that terrible music video montage they used to air. Never fret – it’s gone. “That, to me, was a great improvement,” Kudrow said.

That Romy and Michelle’s sequel is still in limbo

Despite Alan Cumming’s suggestion on Watch What Happen Live that a Romy and Michelle sequel was in the works, Kudrow was less enthusiastic: “Robin Schiff who wrote and produced the first one has really good ideas for sequels, but it hasn’t happened.”

Don’t look for Lisa Kudrow on Glee anytime soon

Fans have been flooding the internet, trying to get Kudrow to play Brittany’s mon on Glee for a few seasons now. But it was all news to Kudrow. “I get why people suggest that,” Kudrow said, “but I don’t sing!” Even if she grabbed a non-singing part, it probably won’t happen. “No one’s asked,” she said. Bummer!

The third season of Who Do You Think You Are? premieres tonight at 8 p.m. on NBC. Check out the video below for more:

Demi Moore was eating Miley Cyrus’ penis cake!

So by now, we’ve established that Demi Moore was sucking back whip-its, synthetic weed, and Red Bull all while trying to bang twinks and kindergarteners in order to try and become young again (has Madonna taught you nothing? You have to suck the life out of Brazilian models!) So now let’s make this all even worse with this report from TMZ saying that Demi was also partying with Miley Cyrus the night she brought out the now infamous penis cake to celebrate her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth‘s birthday.

Multiple sources who were at Club Icon on January 14 tell us … Demi was hanging out with her daughter Rumer and some young friends … mostly kickin’ it in the VIP section. We’re told Demi was drinking Red Bull all night … a drink she’s been obsessively sucking down for years. We’re told she left with Rumer sometime after midnight. A few days later, Demi was seen clubbing with Rumer around Hollywood … and on January 23rd, she was hospitalized after inhaling nitrous oxide in the form of whip-its, a drug that’s super popular with high school kids.

Oh Demi … now you’re just reaching for straws. “Hey! Hey Rumer! Does this penis cake make me look younger? Oh, my beauty will stay fore- HOLY SHIT! Is that an empty can of whipped cream? GIMME! There may be some youth stuck to the bottom of it! *Suck suck suck*

Demi Moore and Miley Cyrus

Demi Moore and Zac Efron?!

As more and more reports surface claiming that Demi Moore is clinging to extreme youth (by which I mean she really wants to be sixteen apparently) this one about how she tried to initiate a hook-up with Zac Efron might be the least sad at this point, because as everyone knows, banging Zac is way better than sucking nitrous oxide out of an empty can of whipped cream. Us Weekly reports:

“She’s been really down, and she’s surrounding herself with young people to make her feel better,” an insider tells Us of Moore, who’s been obsessed for years with staying young and thin. “She’s been mixing pills and Red Bulls, among other things,” another source says. One of Moore’s favorite young stars to party with — and flirt with — is daughter Rumer Willis’s longtime friend Zac Efron, 24, a hunk nine years younger than Kutcher, 33. A wired, gaunt Moore “tracked down” the High School Musical star at a party in L.A.’s Venice neighborhood, an insider tells Us. “She seemed out of her mind at this party.”

So basically, Ashton Kutcher ruined Demi Moore when he dumped her, because as everyone knows, Ashton ruins everything he touches. He’s like the King Midas of abject failure. Anyway, Demi is apparently so ruined now that she can only feel good about herself by fucking young dudes. Yeah, that sounds right when you remember that Demi lives and works in a place where they would rather cast a blonde whore than a talented actress for any part whatsoever.

Demi Moore and Zac Efron

Reese Witherspoon just roasted Justin Bieber

So apparently, Justin Bieber really wants to remake Mark Wahlberg‘s movie Fear, which is hilarious because I’m pretty sure that movie was about a psychotic man who dates teenagers, finger-bangs women on roller coasters and nearly murders anyone who looks at his girlfriend, while Bieber is basically a human version of Bambi in that up until last June I thought he was a girl. Anyway, Reese Witherspoon, who starred as the aforementioned teenager dating an older man, heard about this, and proceeded to full-on burn Bieber like a match stick. Via JustJared:

The 35-year-old actress, who was being interviewed by MTV News for MTV First: This Means War, was told that Justin may be making a remake of her and Mark Wahlberg‘s 1996 film Fear. “Would he be playing me, or is he playing Mark Wahlberg?” Reese joked! “Girls get crazy about him … I didn’t know much about him until I saw the documentary … it made me think what a sweetheart!” Reese added.

Holy shit, who knew she had a sense of humor to her? That is a surprisingly candid of her, considering how often celebrities have to do that thing where they play all nicey nice when secretly the just want to throw shade all over these fucking bitches. Witherspoon knows how to read a bitch down, and I love her for it.

Reese Witherspoon

Kristen Bell really likes sloths!

Kristen Bell was on The Ellen DeGeneres Show yesterday, where for some reason the topic of sloths came up. It turns out, Kristen really, really, really, really likes sloths. Like, more than any person probably should like sloths. Anyway, her boyfriend Dax Shepard decided to surprise her on her birthday a while back, and Kristen revealed her freak-out video of her sobbing sweet, sweet, slothy tears of joy over having a sloth at her birthday. The result is cute and totally embarrassing at the same time.

Ellen DeGeneres and Kristen Bell

Demi Moore loves (and needs) Red Bull!

So having discovered that Demi Moore not only has a thing for banging young guys, but that she’s also willing to suck nitrous oxide out of an empty can of whipped cream if it’ll get her high while preserving her image as a sexy young thang, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that Demi also reportedly has an addiction to Red Bull. Because why not destroy your body as long as kids barely old enough to drink mistake you for one of their peers? As long as you’re in a dark room, anyway. TMZ reports:

Moore — a recovering addict — had cases and cases of Red Bull delivered to her home as early as 2002. Sources connected with Red Bull North America tell us … Demi was so dependent on the energy drink, the company used her to market the product. Sources from the Red Bull company tell us … the delivery schedule was frequent enough to ensure Demi was never without Red Bull. The Sun published a story today reporting … in the months before Demi was hospitalized … she was using Red Bull in place of food.

Somewhere out there, Madonna is shaking her head and thinking “that bitch” as she cracks open the neck of another 19-year-old Brazilian model with her scary gargoyle arms so that she can suck out the spinal fluids and maintain her beauty. Seriously, remember when aging with grace was a thing? Now you need to hold onto your fading youth like a fucking mountain climber clinging to the side of a cliff.

Demi Moore

Demi Moore was doing whipits?!

All right, I’m going to be completely honest with you here: I really have very little knowledge about drugs or whatever the kids are doing these days for a cheap high. Yeah, somewhere between jenkem and that thing where people stuffed vodka-soaked tampons up their butts, I honestly  just sort of tuned all this shit out. But while I was looking away, sucking the nitrous oxide out of an empty can of whipped cream, a practice called “whipits”, became a thing, and reports are now suggesting that the seizure that landed Demi Moore in the hospital may have been related to it. Go figure. TMZ reports:

Sources tell TMZ … one of Demi’s friends who was at her home told emergency workers Demi was doing whipits.  A whipit is a street name for a type of nitrous oxide inhalant. The friend said she became upset when Demi had a reaction to a whipit and lapsed into semi-consciousness. It appears Demi had symptoms of a seizure — after inhaling the nitrous.

From what I understand about whipits (which admittedly isn’t much because a can of whipped cream becomes completely useless to me the moment it can no longer unleash a torrent of delicious whipped dessert topping into my face hole) they’re more commonly used by dumb teenagers who can’t afford weed, which makes it even weirder that Demi would be doing this. I mean last time I checked, Demi wasn’t a white trash fourteen-year-old boy who hangs around outside a 7-11.

Demi Moore

Elizabeth Banks directed a fake porno

For those of you hoping for an Elizabeth Banks porn tape … well, this’ll have to do for now. Sorry fellas. And lady-loving-ladies. Anyway, Elizabeth was part of film a while back that required a fake porno to be running in the background because apparently the royalties for Busty Babes #64 were way out of their budget. Anyway, Elizabeth took it upon herself to shoot the fake porno, and from what I can understand, she’s not exactly Michael Lucas. Unless straight guys are really into women doing chores around the house, in which case – oh, wait, I see what she did there. Nicely done, Banks.

Elizabeth Banks

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