Baz Luhrmann crazied up ‘The Great Gatsby’

I’ve never actually read F. Scott Fitzgerald‘s 1925 novel The Great Gastby, mostly because no one ever reads that unless it’s for a high school English class. That being said, I’m pretty sure it didn’t have Kanye West songs with weird, sparkly, colorful stuff festooned all around it. Yes, Baz Luhrmann is basically trying to remake Moulin Rouge all over again, which means throwing modern theatricality at the 1920′s, hoping something sticks. I’m not sure how much of it does stick, but at least it might be fun to watch?

The Great Gatsby

Exactly How It Sounds: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

It’s Abraham Lincoln. KILLING VAMPIRES. Honestly, the only time anyone should have to explain to you why this concept is awesome is if you’ve just won a battery-eating contest. Yes, it sounds like it was written by opening a can of alphabet soup and pouring it over Mad Libs, but seriously: ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER. This is the most awesomely nonsensical mashup of great things since Turducken.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

The legend of Ron Burgundy continues!

In case you missed it (which is literally impossible, it’s basically the web’s wallpaper right now), here’s the poster for Anchorman 2, or Anchorman: The Legend Continues. No one is really sure yet whether that’s a tagline or part of the title yet, so it’s still a bit of a toss-up. Also, there’s some weird discrepancy over the number of legs in the poster, which could be either a matter of posing or some sort of leg-based injury, and oh my gosh I’m over-thinking a Will Ferrell movie. What has my life become? I mean, I’m still going to buy a ticket to this (when it opens next year), but still …

Anchorman: The Legend Continues

‘Bait’ (in 3D) looks awesomely stupid!

Don’t you just hate it when you go grocery shopping, and then people with guns come in and hold everyone up, and then a tsunami hits and floods the entire store and also a 12-foot long great white shark gets swept in to? Oh, wait, that never happens to anyone in real life, but it is the premise of Bait (in 3D), which looks so awesomely stupid that I have to see it. Granted, I’m a little disenchanted with the whole shark grindhouse genre after last year’s Shark Night (also in 3D) limped through a neutered hour and a half, but at least there’s enough gore in the trailer that promises us something fun to watch and laugh at.

Bait

‘Prometheus’ calls for help in a new viral clip

In all the hoopla of The Avengers pulling in enough money to fill a Scrooge McDuck money pool, it’s important to remember that Prometheus is also a movie that nerds want to see (on June 8th), and that will eventually rake in a lot of money. In this new viral clip, Noomi Rapace‘s character offers some insight into the plot and the motivations for her character. It creates a great atmosphere of eerie mystery around the movie, which I adore. Also, something tells me Noomi has final girl written all over her. Call it a hunch.

Prometheus

Florence + The Machine gets with ‘Snow White’

Earlier this year, we got Mirror, Mirror, the version of Snow White where Julia Roberts tried, and failed, to carry an English accent for an entire movie. If that’s just not your cup of tea (or you’re not eight-years-old), then maybe the darker Snow White and the Huntsman (in theaters on June 1st) with Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart is more your thing. And if you’re still not convinced, Florence + The Machine have a tie-in single called Breath of Life for the soundtrack, and it’s kind of amazing. Also, the video features lots of Aussie Chris Hemsworth, which is always a good thing.

Florence Welch

Super Preview: The Amazing Spider-Man

Everyone knows that something becomes immediately better the moment you put the word “Super” in front of it. Case in point: super hero, super sandwich, super nanny … all of those things are better because they have super powers. And now the people behind The Amazing Spider-Man (July 3rd) is releasing a four-minute super preview, which is really just a trailer with an added minute and a half of Andrew Garfield saving a little kid from a burning, falling car. Also, this version of Spider-Man apparently has a fear of small spaces, because he will not pass up an opportunity to take off his mask. He’s like the male stripper of super heroes. “Did anyone call for … *rips off clothes* … a Spider-Man? PELVIC THRUST!”

The Amazing Spider-Man

‘The Avengers’ is getting a sequel!

Because Hollywood knows full well that sticking the number two behind the title of a successful movie is an excellent way to MAKE ALL THE MONEY, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that The Avengers is getting a sequel, now that everyone has finally realized the undeniable genius of Joss Whedon and everything he does. Seriously, maybe it’s just me, but all of the best parts of the movie were just so characteristically Whedonesque, I actually turned to my boyfriend and squealed “Joss Whedon wrote that!” I’m a fanboy, sue me. Huffington Post reports:

It’s the type of story we have to write, but you saw this coming: Avengers is officially getting a sequel. Disney announced Tuesday afternoon that the second ensemble superhero film is already in development. It’s shockingly unsurprising news, for two main reasons: One, there’s a post-credits scene at the end of Marvel’s The Avengers that hints at a future film and, two, the first movie made the most money over an opening weekend in the history of motion pictures.

Still, it’s nice to see Disney take a break from counting their millions reacting to the positive fan reaction to the film and greenlighting a sequel. Disney CEO Bob Iger announced the news at the beginning of a conference call with reporters, describing the success of the first film as “a great illustration of why we like Marvel so much.”

As long as they don’t go The Hangover 2 route, wherein they basically just re-release the first movie, only set in a different location, I’ll be fine with this. The world needs more movies written by Joss, dammit, especially if those movies have a scene where (SPOILER ALERT) The Hulk stops the antagonist mid-monologue and proceeds to repeatedly slap him against the ground like a wet towel, because OH MY GOSH HOW AWESOME WAS THAT PART?! JOSS WHEEEEEEEEEEEEDON!

The Avengers

Red Band (and awkward) Trailer: The Watch

Here’s the awkward thing about The Watch: Originally, it was called Neighborhood Watch, and it was about a bunch of paranoid middle-aged guys (including Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Seth Rogen) on a self-appointed neighborhood watch with guns. The movie coincided with the Trayvon Martin case, wherein a paranoid middle-aged guy on a self-appointed neighborhood watch shot a defenseless kid in Florida. See how that might be seen as unfortunate? Well, it turn out the movie (out on July 27th) is actually about aliens or some shit, so at least it’s somewhat removed from reality. Still, that is some crap timing.

The Watch

‘The Avengers’ made all the money!

Well, we knew it was going to happen: Despite only turning out the second biggest midnight opening gross ever (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 beat it by a rather wide margin) The Avengers managed to walk off with the biggest opening week gross in history, earning over $200 Million bucks at the North American box office. Bow to Joss Whedon, your new king of everything! Via Huffington Post:

That’s what Captain America tells the Incredible Hulk to do in The Avengers, and that’s what the Marvel Comics superhero mash-up did at the box office, smashing the domestic revenue record with a $200.3 million debut. It’s by far the biggest opening ever, shooting past the previous record of $169.2 million for the debut of last year’s Harry Potter finale. The Avengers added $151.5 million overseas over the weekend to bring its total to $441.5 million since it began opening internationally a week earlier. That raised the film’s worldwide haul to $641.8 million in barely a week and a half, more than its Marvel superhero forerunners Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor and Captain America took in during their entire runs.

Gotta love how they basically gloss right over The Hulk films. Still, was there ever any doubt that the combined draw of every major, successful Marvel comic book character would basically just suck all the nerd dollars out of America? That movie was basically the turducken of nerd wish fulfillment. Also, there was Black Widow doing that thing where she sort of splays one of her legs out whenever she lands, thus showing off her boobies and butt every time she fought. That probably brought in, what? $50 Million? Yeah, that sounds right.

The Avengers

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