Adele will perform at the Grammys!

Good news, music lovers! It seems that Adele has bounced back rather quickly from her throat surgery, and has announced that she’ll be doing her first post-surgery performance at the Grammys and could potentially walk off with six awards! Yay! But she still won’t be making another album for a while, sooooo … sad again. The Huffington Post reports:

“Ima be, Ima be singing at the Grammys. It’s been so long I started to forget I was a singer! I can’t wait, speak soon xx,” Adele tweeted Tuesday morning. After such a long recovery process, Adele couldn’t be more excited to be heading back to the stage.

“I’m immensely proud to have been asked to perform at this year’s Grammy Awards,” the singer said in a statement. “It’s an absolute honor to be included in such a night and for it to be my first performance in months is very exciting and of course nerve-wracking, but what a way to get back into it all.”

Just to show you how much I love Adele, I’m willing to overlook the fact that she quoted the cultural equivalent of a drug-resistant staph infection, The Black Eyed Peas, in her tweet announcing her comeback. And I will only do that for Adele because her talent outweighs the overall suck of BEP. Not by much, because they really are just awful, but by a wide enough margin for me to be happy.

Adele

The 2012 SAG Awards were last night!

More esteemed than the Golden Globes, but with a worse name, the SAG Awards were last night, where The Help swept the awards because apparently people really love movies where someone shits into a pie and makes an evil white person eat it. Remember when Ryan Reynolds won the Oscar for National Lampoon’s Van Wilder? Exactly. RadarOnline reports:

Outstanding Cast in a Motion Picture — The Cast of The Help

Outstanding Female Actor in a Leading RoleViola Davis for The Help

Outstanding Male Actor in a Leading Role Jean Dujardin for The Artist

Outstanding Ensemble in a Drama Series – The Cast of Boardwalk Empire

Outstanding Male Actor in a Drama SeriesSteve Buscemi for Boardwalk Empire

Outstanding Female Actor in a Drama Series– Jessica Lange for American Horror Story

Screen Actors Guild Lifetime Achievement Award – Mary Tyler Moore

Outstanding Male Actor in a TV Movie or Mini-Series – Paul Giamatti for Too Big to Fail

Outstanding Female Actor in a TV Movie or Mini-Series – Kate Winslet for Mildred Pierce

Outstanding Ensemble in a Comedy Series – The Cast of Modern Family

Outstanding Female Actor in a Comedy Series – Betty White for Hot in Cleveland

Outstanding Male Actor in a Comedy Series – Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock

Outstanding Female Actor in a Supporting RoleOctavia Spencer for The Help

Outstanding Male Actor in a Supporting Role – Christopher Plummer for Beginners

So basically, The Help is this year’s version of The Blind Side: a pandering movie the makes white people feel good about themselves, but the cast is likeable and talented so we’ll let it slide. It’s nice to see HBO’s Boardwalk Empire added to the list of the greatest shows that I’ll probably never watch, and it’s nice to see Jessica Lange be rewarded for turning in one of the most awesomely campy performances ever in American Horror Story. I’m pretty sure Betty White won for being Betty White, because God help me that show is unwatchable save for her. And am I the only one who hoped Mary Tyler Moore threw her hat into the air in a freeze frame when she was honored with a lifetime achievement award?

The cast of 'The Help'

The Oscar nominations are out!

Now that the Golden Globe Awards have more or less spoiled the results for us, here are the Oscar nominations for the 84th annual Academy Awards (set to take place on February 26th), which really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who can remember the Globes from a week ago. Leading the pack is Hugo with eleven nominations, followed by The Artist with ten, here’s more from TooFab:

BEST PICTURE
“The Artist”
“The Descendants”
“Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”
“The Help”
“Hugo”
“Midnight in Paris”
“Moneyball”
“The Tree of Life”
“War Horse”

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Demián Bichir, “A Better Life”
George Clooney, “The Descendants”
Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”
Gary Oldman, “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy”
Brad Pitt, “Moneyball”

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Glenn Close, “Albert Nobbs”
Viola Davis, “The Help”
Rooney Mara, “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”
Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady”
Michelle Williams, “My Week with Marilyn”

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Kenneth Branagh, “My Week with Marilyn”
Jonah Hill, “Moneyball”
Nick Nolte, “Warrior”
Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”
Max von Sydow, “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Berenice Bejo, “The Artist”
Jessica Chastain, “The Help”
Melissa McCarthy, “Bridesmaids”
Janet McTeer, “Albert Nobbs”
Octavia Spencer, “The Help”

BEST DIRECTOR
Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris”
Michael Hazanavicius, “The Artist”
Terrence Malick, “The Tree of Life”
Alexander Payne, “The Descendants”
Martin Scorsese, “Hugo”

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
“A Cat in Paris”
“Chico & Rita”
“Kung Fu Panda”
“Rango”
“Puss In Boots”

SEE THE FULL NOMINATIONS LIST

Wait, why is Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close was nominated for Best Picture? That movie goddamn SUCKED. Oh Tom Hanks, you know how to work those Hollywood handshakes. Also, Cars 2 got shut out, and absolutely no one cares. Sorry Pixar.

The 84th Annual Academy Awards

Ricky Gervais killed it last night!

Yes, yes, don’t worry everyone, we’re going to get all of the Golden Globes posts out of the way now so we don’t have to go on pretending they’re a thing past noon. Anyway, after Ricky Gervais‘ performance at last year’s Globes performance was criticized for being too “mean” (read: honest), someone at the HFPA pulled their head out of their ass and realized that most celebrities are assholes anyway and they can just buy new feelings with the millions of dollars they have. So they brought him back in, and once again, he KILLED. More than anything, I’m actually happy celebrities actually joked along with him rather than getting all huffy again (I’m looking at you Robert Downey Jr.) Anyway, you can watch his opening monologue below, where he trashes Kim Kardashian, the Oscars and Adam Sandler.

Ricky Gervais

So the Golden Globes were last night …

First off, sorry for the down time last week. Someone stole my laptop while I was in Los Angeles so posting was kind of … impossible. Anyway, thanks to MK for carrying the extra weight while I was away!

The 69th (tee-hee!) Annual Golden Globes were last night, and once again the industry got together to celebrate the Oscars‘ test run. On the plus side, this show really makes it easy to pick out your Oscar pool if you’re into that sort of thing. No major surprises in the winners this year, but at least Meryl Streep might be finally getting her due this year. Via Us Weekly:

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture — Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Best Actress in a Television Series (Musical or Comedy) — Laura Dern, Enlightened
Best Miniseries or Television Film — Downton Abbey
Best Actor in a Miniseries or Television Film — Kate Winslet, Mildred Pierce
Best Actor in a Television Series (Drama) — Kelsey Grammer, Boss
Best TV Series (Drama) — Homeland
Best Original Score (Motion Picture) — Ludovic Bource, The Artist
Best Original Song (Motion Picture) — Madonna, “Masterpiece,” W.E.
Best Actor in a Miniseries or Television Film — Idris Elba, Luther
Best Actress in a Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy) — Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn
Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or Television Film — Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Best Animated Feature Film — The Adventures of Tintin
Best Screenplay (Motion Picture) — Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Best Supporting Performance in a Series, Miniseries or Television Film — Jessica Lange, American Horror Story
Best Foreign Language Film — A Separation
Best Actress in a Television Series — Claire Danes, Homeland
Best Actor in a Television Series (Musical or Comedy) — Matt LeBlanc, Episodes
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy) — Octavia Spencer, The Help
Cecil B. DeMille Award for Lifetime Achievement — Morgan Freeman
Best Director in a Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy) — Martin Scorsese, Hugo
Best TV Series (Comedy or Musical) — Modern Family
Best Actor in a Motion Picture (Comedy or Musical) — Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Best Actress in a Motion Picture (Drama) — Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Best Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy) — The Artist
Best Actor in a Motion Picture (Drama) — George Clooney, The Descendants
Best Motion Picture (Drama) — The Descendants

See what I mean? No real surprises, and I was happy to see The Artist clean up a little if only because bringing the dog up on stage was one of the best things about the night. That being said, did any one else not see the Matt LeBlanc win coming? Admittedly, it was kind of a weak category, since they didn’t pull anyone from Parks and Recreation or Community, but still, that one sort of just eeked by, didn’t it?

Uggie from 'The Artist'

Nominations: The 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards!

I’m not going to go into a long spiel over this, probably because the amount of fail in this is joke enough. No Community? Again? Hang your head in shame, HFPA. You can’t even acronym right. From Us Weekly:

Best Drama
The Descendants
The Help
Hugo
The Ides of March
Moneyball
War Horse

Best Comedy/Musical
50/50
The Artist
Bridesmaids
Midnight in Paris
My Week with Marilyn

Best Animated Film
Rango
The Adventures of Tintin
Puss in Boots
Winnie the Pooh
Arthur Christmas

Best Actor in a Drama
George Clooney, The Descendants
Brad Pitt, Moneyball
Ryan Gosling, The Ides of March
Michael Fassbender, Shame
Leonardo DiCaprio, J. Edgar

Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Brendan Gleeson, The Guard
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 50/50
Ryan Gosling, Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Owen Wilson, Midnight in Paris

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn
Albert Brooks, Drive
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Viggo Mortensen, A Dangerous Method

Best Actress in a Drama
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis, The Help
Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton, We Need to Talk About Kevin

Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy
Jodie Foster, Carnage
Charlize Theron, Young Adult
Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids
Michelle Williams, My Week with Marilyn
Kate Winslet, Carnage

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Shailene Woodley, The Descendants
Octavia Spencer, The Help
Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs
Berenice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help

Best Director
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
George Clooney, The Ides of March
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
Martin Scorsese, Hugo

Best TV Comedy or Musical
Enlightened
Episodes
Glee
Modern Family
New Girl

Best TV Drama
American Horror Story
Boardwalk Empire
Boss
Game Of Thrones
Homeland

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture
Cinema Verite
Downton Abbey
The Hour
Mildred Pierce
Too Big To Fail

Best Actor in a TV Drama
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Damian Lewis, Homeland
Jeremy Irons, The Borgias
Kelsey Grammer, Boss

Best Actor in a TV Musical or Comedy
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
David Duchovny, Californication
Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory
Thomas Jane, Hung
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes

Best Supporting Actor in TV Series, Mini-Series, or Made-for-TV Movie
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Paul Giamatti, Too Big To Fail
Guy Pearce, Mildred Pierce
Tim Robbins, Cinema Verite
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

Best Actress in a TV Drama
Claire Danes, Homeland
Mireille Enos, The Killing
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Madeleine Stowe, Revenge
Callie Thorne, Necessary Roughness

Best Actress in a TV Musical or Comedy
Laura Dern, Enlightened
Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Laura Linney, The Big C
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

Best Supporting Actress in TV Series, Mini-Series, or Made-for-TV Movie
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story
Kelly Macdonald, Boardwalk Empire
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Evan Rachel Wood, Mildred Pierce

Ugh. Just … ugh. Everything about this is just safe, middle-of-the-road movies and TV shows. Another nomination for Glee? No Community? And no nominations for Melissa McCarthy or Nick Offerman? Ron Swanson does not approve of this. At all.

The 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards

Kanye West and Adele lead the Grammy nominees!

The list of nominees for the 2012 Grammy Awards has just been released, and for once, it isn’t a complete crap show of records, songs and albums from two years ago. No, really. They actually got it sort of right for once. I know, I’m as shocked as you are here. Anyway, here’s the abridged version from CBS News:

It was Adele’s year, and when the Grammy Awards are revealed next February, it very well may be her night. But on Wednesday night, the British songstress shared in the Grammy nominations glory. While she was nominated for six trophies, including album of the year for 21 and record and song of the year for her bitter groove Rolling in the Deep, Bruno Mars and the Foo Fighters also received six, and it was Kanye West who was the night’s top leader, with seven nominations.

West was nominated for song of the year for his all-star anthem All of the Lights, which featured everyone from Rihanna to Elton John. But even though the album from which it came, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, heralded an epic album by critics when it was released last year, it was not featured in the best album category (so far, no obligatory West rant has surfaced in response).

Bon Iver, the folky indie rock act that was a key part of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy and received a popularity boost from its association with Kanye, was one of the night’s big winners, receiving four nominations, including for best artist, and song and record of the year for Holocene. And last year’s critical darlings, Mumford & Sons, were once again nominated, receiving among their bids for song and record of the year for The Cave.

Yeah, I’m as surprised as you are. For once, actual talent is getting nominated! I know, I’m still trying to fish my monocle out of champagne flute. Although I do have one little hang-up: Bruno Mars. Why? He looks like a boston terrier in a fedora and his music is annoying. He just does nothing for me.

Adele

The American Music Awards were last night!

It’s that time of year again! No, not Thanksgiving. It’s the American Music Awards! The one special day of the year where we all come together to give thanks that at least we don’t have to sit through the freaking Grammys. Anyway, this year the AMA’s got it almost right, by having Adele win the most awards (tied with Taylor Swift though) and by having Rihanna beat Chris Brown for once. In an award category! Not by smashing his face into a car window, trying to bite through his ear and neck, and then leaving him to die on the side of the road. No, she just beat him out for an award. Small victories, people. Take ‘em where you can. The full list of winners via MSNBC:

— Adult Contemporary Artist: Adele

— Alternative Rock Artist: Foo Fighters

— Contemporary Inspirational Artist: Casting Crowns

— Country Female Artist: Taylor Swift

— Country Male Artist: Blake Shelton

— Country Band, Duo or Group: Lady Antebellum

— Country Album: Taylor Swift, Speak Now

— Latin Music Artist: Jennifer Lopez

— Pop/Rock Female Artist: Adele

— Pop/Rock Male Artist: Bruno Mars

— Pop/Rock Band, Duo or Group: Maroon 5

— Pop/Rock Album: Adele, 21

— Rap/Hip-Hop Artist: Nicki Minaj

— Rap/Hip-Hop Album: Nicki Minaj, Pink Friday

— Soul/R&B Female Artist: Beyonce

— Soul/R&B Male Artist: Usher

— Soul/R&B Album: Rihanna, Loud

— Artist of the Year: Taylor Swift

— New Artist of the Year: Hot Chelle Rae

And there you have it. I can’t say anyone here really did or didn’t deserve these awards because chances are good chunk of these artists won their respective categories based on the fact that they sucked the least. Well, more or less, since the AMAs are based entirely on album sales rather than votes or talents, so this isn’t so much an awards ceremony as it is a glorified version of the Starbucks card. Sell 500,000 albums and get a free pretty trophy!

Taylor Swift

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