Katy Perry is afraid of the dark!

Because yesterday was Labour Day which means celebrities had to take a day off of being stupid (else they get paid time and a half), today is kind of a slow news day. Ergo, we’re going to run with this story about how Katy Perry is afraid to sleep with the lights off. Granted, considering I have to literally long-jump off my bed in the middle of the night to stay out of reach from the monsters under my bed, I can’t judge here.

Katy Perry has admitted that she is afraid of the dark. The Teenage Dream singer also revealed that she sleeps with the lights on unless she is with her fiancé Russell Brand. She told Radio Times: “I think a lot of evil things go on in the dark. I still have to cover my toes because I’m like that kid who thinks there’s a witch under my bed who’s going to eat my tootsies off.” She added: “I sleep with lights on unless I’m with Russell.” SOURCE

Oh, well now that’s – wait, what? “I sleep with lights on unless I’m with Russell.”? Oh. Well, actually, that explains a lot.

Russell: Sweetheart, care for a shag with the lights ON tonight?

Katy: Awww, sorry baby. But if we do it with the lights on, Mr. ScaryTeeth will come out and bite off your dick!

Russell: Wait, I thought he only came out in the dark?

Katy: … He likes to watch.

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