on matzo and aging:
\njr: can i just say - every time i see matzo it reminds me of my chest. flat and brown spots.
\nms: joan! i don't know when women start to make fun of themselves...i wouldn't talk about that stuff ever!
\njr: but your body's in better shape. you were a model, bitch.\n

\non her upcoming trip to china:
\nms: why are you going to china?
\njr: again, a mistake. olivia newton-john called me and she said, 'this is for breast cancer, would you like to walk the great wall?'...i thought she said 'walk the great mall,' and i said, 'you got it!'
\nms: did you learn any chinese?
\njr: yes, i learned one phrase - 'i am single. are you?' i also think it's important to learn, 'where is gucci?'\n

\non her love for sweets:
\nms: you like sweets?
\njr: look at my ass.\n

\non the chocolate matzo:
\njr: moses would have loved this!\n

\non her matzo house:
\nms: are they [the audience] laughing at your gingerbread roof?
\njr: yes! they're laughing and i'm not even naked!
\nms: i've made one side of my little roof, and it's very neat and perfect.
\njr: and i've done mine free form. i think of myself as a modern artist.

PHOTO | ANDERS KRUSBERG FOR THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW